dcusa

this is getting to be too much for me
i try to be strong but this is too much.
my stomach is in knots.
my 7 month old in the next room awake because her daddy fell to the floor and woke her up just now.
i thought he was drinking inside the bedroom. her crib is in our room. i ran in and swore. i do not usually swear. i said what the f*** are you doing? he got angry and said he fell. my heart rate is up. i can feel myself starting to shake as he raises his voice. he is drunk i say. he doesn't normally raise his voice. he's what you would call a quiet drunk. at least in his words. he said i fell. i'm no drunk. he may not be drunk but he's not alert. why else would he sleep all day and look dazed?
he went for a smoke. i had his keys. he says i'm not a f****** child.
my heart is breaking. my heart is breaking.
i don't know how to continue this. i know this is my hurt speaking. i know he's a good person. i know he's hurt.
please help me find the strength and the patience to support him because is it soooo hard. so hard.

Bernadette

(((hugs)))
If you need to get away from him by all means do so.
You can "support" him without being in his physical presence.
You can pray for him from a distance. Maybe what's required is not patience but action! Is there anywhere you can go?
Please keep yourself and your baby safe!
Peace,
B.

steve11694

"please help me find the strength and the patience to support him because is it soooo hard. so hard."

Also known as enabling. We actually hurt an alcoholic when we do this.

Read the stickies

respektingme

It is your "hurt" speaking. And it will likely continue to speak for a very long time. Welcome, I think several of us know the "hurt" speak. Some have made it to the other side and have found peace.

First and foremost, keep your baby safe.

blessed4x

Amen! I have nothing else to add but (((hugs)))

Lilyflower

I have read your two posts, and you refer to your A as 'Recovering', but to me it sounds as though he is still active.

If an alcoholic can only last a week without drinking and then starts up again, to me that is not recovering, it is still active addiction. My abf would stop and start over and over. Sometimes a week would pass, sometimes a few days. It took me a while to realise this was his cycle and not his attempt at recovery at all.

Take steps to care for you and your baby. Protect yourselves from this addiction. I suggest al anon if you are not already there and reading Melody Beattie books, codependant no more and beyond codependancy.

You should be your own rock, your own cheerleader, not his, if he needs that type of support meetings, AA literature and sponsors are available for him. Take care of you first.

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

LaTeeDa

My exAH used to pass out while sitting on a barstool in the dining room. He would then crash loudly to the floor, sometimes with a lit cigarette still in his hand. I lived in fear that he would burn the house down while my children and I were sleeping. It's no way to live.

L

seethelight2009

I know this may sound blunt but get out now. I am still not out and now that my daughter is 3 it seems so much harder. There is no reason why you can't stand by him through this but do it from another home where your daughter is safe.

Startingover2

I have a 5 month old and I finally kicked my AH out. I can't tell you how many times I would worry for her safety. My AH would try and hold her when drunk or almost fall on her. NO MORE!

Keep your baby safe. That is your job to protect that little innocent child. She cannot protect herself.