gottaquitthis

and I need too. In need to see what I didn't see in the beginning. I didn't think he had potential, I thought he was great. Very successful, very sure of himself, he was crazy about me, I guess this did seem strange, he didn't really know me, how could he be crazy about me, but it felt good. I didn't want to get involved, I was done but he hung in there, didn't give up, I mean I'm talking months, what did I do, I gave in, and guess what, just when I thought everything was going great, he pulled the rug out.
Anybody have a situation like this?
gottaquitthis

RayRayRay

Good post!
I wish someone had told me about all these red flags (and my obvious codie behaviour) 4 years ago. :p At least I know them now.

Gottaquitthis - I can relate. Three months after meeting, I nearly married the someone who made me feel so great. I couldn't understand how someone this wonderful could be interested in little old me. Not just interested - but crazy about me. Without even really knowing me! A couple of weeks before The Big Day I realized alcohol was already a problem. And I didn't know then about the arrests, the dui resulting in loss of license, the "ex"es unable to cope with the alcoholism (and its denial), the lies that had already begun....

Four years later and my SO still doesn't see it as a issue. I'm glad I got cold feet and we didn't wed.

FormerDoormat

Bumped for KeepingtheFaith

chrisea

What a person is doing now is the context for successful predictions, and marrying a man on the basis of potential, or for that matter hiring an employee solely on the basis of potential, is a sure way to interfere with intiution. That's because the focus on potential carries our imagination to how things might be or could be and away from how they are now.

I just have the worst luck." Luck has very little to do with it, because the glaringly common characteristic of each of this woman's relationships is her. My observations about selection are offered to enlighten victims, not to blame them, for I don't believe that violence is a fair penality for bad choices. But I do believe they are choices.

Some powerful tips, it's almost 4 yrs since I've been in the mix, starting to enjoy life now, thanks

Mimimalone

Hi all... first post here as I just joined two nights ago. I have recently decided to separate my alcoholic husband and have just told my friends and family all that I have been hiding for the last 3 years. Every person I told this week, and myself all commented on his "potential". And I realize having read this forum posting that it is that "potential" that I am grieving and not the reality... it is easy to glorify the potential... I did that for 3 years. But I am conscious that, no matter how painful this is right now, the potential was not the reality and to focus on that.