AF contacted me with Crisis
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 126
AF contacted me with Crisis
One of my AFs who is severely addicted to alcohol and cocaine contacted me to let me know that one of his parents is very ill and going into hospital.
Hadn't spoken in a while, as I've of course been pulling away. I want to be sensitive and compassionate but not get pulled back in to his world. We'd spent a lot of time together when i was drinking heavily so I guess he misses that, but I don't wanna go back to it
Hadn't spoken in a while, as I've of course been pulling away. I want to be sensitive and compassionate but not get pulled back in to his world. We'd spent a lot of time together when i was drinking heavily so I guess he misses that, but I don't wanna go back to it
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
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I'm glad you recognize that addicts will try to suck you back in, and that it's not good for you.
You given them a shoulder to cry on already. You can also send a letter or a card and let them know you're sending healing thoughts and prayers their way. I personally would avoid doing ANY more than that....there will ALWAYS be some kind of crisis going on, and it's a never-ending cycle. Today it's my parents in the hospital. Tomorrow it's me. I crashed my car. Or I'm in jail. Whatever. Really, it never stops once you start running to their side every time there's an issue.
Good to start practicing now, Angelus, being compassionate and detached at the same time. Take a deep breath, be kind, and then let it go.
What are you going to do for YOU today?
You given them a shoulder to cry on already. You can also send a letter or a card and let them know you're sending healing thoughts and prayers their way. I personally would avoid doing ANY more than that....there will ALWAYS be some kind of crisis going on, and it's a never-ending cycle. Today it's my parents in the hospital. Tomorrow it's me. I crashed my car. Or I'm in jail. Whatever. Really, it never stops once you start running to their side every time there's an issue.
Good to start practicing now, Angelus, being compassionate and detached at the same time. Take a deep breath, be kind, and then let it go.
What are you going to do for YOU today?
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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This is your choice to make-
We can be compassionate and sensitive at a distance and say what you
need to this person-
As for going and being with this person that is a choice only you can make, but IMHO mine kept coming up with excuses and I kept running-not a good choice on my part!
IMHO I would say what I needed to them from a distance and let it go...
We can be compassionate and sensitive at a distance and say what you
need to this person-
As for going and being with this person that is a choice only you can make, but IMHO mine kept coming up with excuses and I kept running-not a good choice on my part!
IMHO I would say what I needed to them from a distance and let it go...
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
In my CPR certification class I learned that the best way to save a drowning victim is to extend a lifesaving tool to them, and that even a trained lifeguard can be in trouble by diving into the water on a rescue.
It's a good analogy for me in everyday life and helps me avoid creating a double tragedy.
You are wise to question if it's a good idea to get too close to this person.
It's a good analogy for me in everyday life and helps me avoid creating a double tragedy.
You are wise to question if it's a good idea to get too close to this person.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
You have every right to keep your hands up in the STOP position on this one, Angelus. You have learned much in a short time and KNOW the answer is to keep the distance for yourself and your own forward motion with your life. Take care of you. That yoga teacher training that you are working towards sounds blissful, by the way, full of light and love. You can be sensitive and compassionate with the healthy, eager students you will have one day. 
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