CypGirl

I haven't posted on here for a while. First the reason was that hubbie stopped drinking. Then it was because he had a near fatal accident due to relapse.

Not many of you may remember me as i only posted a few times, but the story is that he stopped drinking for 2 months. Best months of my life. Then one day he had a drink. I got upset and we exchanged words. he went out onto our 3rd floor balcony while i settled down to watch tv. then...i turn to see what he was doing and saw him hanging off the balcony. I jumped up to help him, but i couldn't hold him. I saw him fall and hit the 2nd floor balcony and then land on the 3rd floor. I've never been so scared.

He now hasn't had a drink for 2 months, and what he's going through proves to me that although i thought he wasn't drinking he must have been.

I should say that on top of being an alchoolic, he also has MS..which now has been made worse due to the bang on the head. So he's going through withdrawal symptoms, but is also having a server MS relapse.

I'm finding it very hard to cope. But I will. I've told him that if he has another drink again he's on his own, much to the dissapointment of my family. But i have to give this one last go.

Our first year anniversary is coming up, and will more then likely be spending it at home alone. Due to the MS and bang on the head and withdrawal, he wont' listen to dr's and is putting himself in danger (he has a fractured back and neck) and at one point nearly fell and broke his back. He cant' be left at home alone, so he will be going to a home when he comes out of hospital at the end of the week.

I hate it. I feel like i'm throwing him away as he really wants to come home. Due to his back (and also broken hip which now has a metal plate) he can't walk properly. I need to work for us to servive, so me staying home is not an option.

I feel guilty for not noticing that he was still drinking, for exchanging words and for putting him in home.

I guess i'm writting this someone may know what i'm going through. Friends and family understand to a certain point. But i need to speak to people that know how hard it is, and maybe understand why i need to give this one last got. This is the first time he has fully not had a drink for years. With help, he might do it. I live on one last hope.

I love my husband. I stood in church and made my vows in front of god. I have to take them seriously and give this one last go for me. So i dont' forever live in "What if".

:praying

SugarLily

Oh my, I'm so sorry for what you have been having to deal with CypGirl. That must be so difficult ((((((hugs))))))

You aren't throwing him away - you are trying to get him the help he needs.

I'm unsure of what advice I can give but I hope you stay strong and I'm sending well wishes to the both of you.

:praying

Barbara52

So stop feeling guilty about doing what you have to do! Would it be better to stay hope and end up on the streets because no money is coming in?

Only he is responsible for his choice to drink. You cannot control it, change it or cure it. It was his choice to injure himself by hanging off and falling off the balcony. You didn't make him do that either!


With help, he might find sobriety. Or not. Again he is the only one who can do this.

Lilyflower

CypGirl,

I am so sorry you have been through such a terrible experience, how terrifying for you. My prayers go out to you...

I am glad you have come back to SR. You are doing the best for you both by keeping in work and making him stay in a place where he is getting the care he needs. Hopefully he will take to heart all that has happened and will consider his health etc and take this opportunity to stop. This will be his choice, the flip side is he may choose to keep drinking once he has the opportunity to.

I hope you continue to work on yourself and take the steps internally and externally to make your life the way you wish it to be.

Lots of love

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx