DESIGNER

I found out through a friend of a friend that my exabf has gotten fired from his new job of only 2 months. Last time I talked with him which was only a couple of weeks ago....he made it out to seem that he was doing so well and that the employer was very impressed with him and that the money was going to be really good(living the great life basically) He recieved this job through his new roommate and bestfriend and supposedly hung out with the owners also(drank together).

Well it is a morning to evening job(9-5) and every job that he had like that with me he eventually just quit....or who knows got fired and told me he quit. They said that he was showing up late constantly or not showing up at all and there were times when he showed up and he reaked of alcohol. WOW!!!
I mean his best friend and roommate got him into this company and he STILL screwed it up. Supposedly right now he is not working and that prob explains why I have not recieved my money and why he was so angry and in a bad mood on the phone the other day.

At first when i heard this news i had a range of emotions. I was happy for the fact that I no longer had to deal with this crap and also started crying also because it sounds like to me that the alcohol is taking over his life. How sad is it to hear that someone that you love is getting worse or not getting better.

Just thought that I would share. Like I said before this is something that makes me happy b/c it pushes me in the right direction but at the same time I also wonder how he is doing and if there is going to be anyone for him to reach out to before it is too late.

mallowcup

I think as time goes on, you wil one day run into him and be horrified to think what your life might be like if you had stayed. My ex had an awesome job after getting out of the military. He lost that job due to drinking and it has been a pathetic downhill trip for him ever since, I remember crying my eyes out thinking I'd die without him. That is pretty embarrassing. His last job was as a clerk at a quik stop store and gas station.
I heard he just got fired from that. He is 54 years old now, outdated clothing, bad teeth, hunched posture (although he still has the strut like he's all that) and a mullit hairdo.
Alcohol has weakened his bones and rotted his teeth. He still thinks I want him, cough
Once I couldnt imagine living without his touch and now if he touched me, I'd scrub scrub it off.

DESIGNER

Another thing I wanted to share is how I feel now compared to how I would have felt if we were still together. I would have been so devestated b/c like I said before I would get so excited when he was doing good and believe that everything was going to be ok with us. If I were still with him and found out he got fired I would be bawling my eyes out and drowning out the little voice in my head that is saying...." you need to get out of this relationship". I quieted that voice down so many times through the bad times b/c I was so scared to take the initial step and just leave him.

Now I am sitting here and I am out of that relationship and GOD it feels soooo good to not have to hear that little voice. I am free. Him loosing his job will not effect me in a negative way. I am sooo happy I am at this point....it is like a breath of fresh air to me.....wow I feel good.

sojourner

same thing goes on with my AS. These are actually good things in that the more problems and consequences our loved ones (even ex-loved ones) have, the more vulnerable the denial system. And once denial is gone, our loved ones are ready for recovery. I pray that someone in your ex-BF's life is there to suggest his problem is alcohol/drugs and point him to recovery. That's how God works.