FormerDoormat

How many folks here think they can go one week without talking about the drinker in their life--not even mentioning their names? Anybody here want to take the challenge? I figure it just might generate some useful recovery threads. Either that, or the forum will be a ghost town.

Astro

Oh wait a minute, I was the drinker!

kermit

I will give it a try

Pick-a-name

I am sure it will be an eye-opener for me!

embraced2000

hey, finally......a challenge i can win! cause ya see.....it's all about me now! instead of the other way around.

MsGolightly

this idea made me grin from ear to ear... i'm in! i can't wait to see what everyone discusses instead!

Barbara52

I like the idea in theory. I really do.

Unfortunately, I know that there are gong to be many folks coming in here seeking help/advice/support and the only way I will be able to relate fully will be to mention what my AH did and how I reacted as a means of helping them understand how they can help themselves. To stop talking about my AH altogether, to expect especially new folks to not talk about their particular A defeats the purpose of this forum as I see it.

grateful2b

ooooh , how timely..love this ...I'm in..........
ok, so , I just found a new place to live...got sads and was worried about finding a bright sunny place that was really quiet...got my Law of Attraction ducks in a row and first call..I found a place in a turret with tons of sun, super quiet building with four huge windows and a fireplace...I'm so excited and relieved..Its a little smaller than I'm used to so off to Ikea for some wicker storage.

MsGolightly

i view it differently. we don't necessarily have to talk about our exes... often the constant reminders and talking about them repeatedly is what keeps them in our minds. i think the idea was more to talk about ourselves and what we've done to learn, move on, etc., rather than always keeping the focus on them. i think it would be great for newbies here to see that it can be done!

NYC_Chick

I'll take it. After the day I had yesterday a mental break from the A sounds pretty good to me : )

grateful2b

actually, that was my take too...yes, agree with you, Msgolightly.....
I see it as a challenge and a relief to talk about our recovery without that constant need to refer to the A....

prodigal

I have found that posts in the past that have dealt with US, our interests, our children, our activities, jobs, etc. have proven to be a positive experience for me. We had one topic I particularly remember in which people talked about their hobbies and their careers. The people on this forum became more real for me. We have people here with diverse and fascinating backgrounds.

I'm all for it. Great idea, FD.

best

*LOL*


Only time I talk about ..them... is when I need help, support, or answers for me.
There are times that maybe I should talk about...them... but I hold it inside instead and that isn't good either.

Maybe I should start a thread....

The All About "ME" thread
and that would help me keep the focus in the right place.

cmc

Is this like that game we play at baby showers where if you say 'baby' somebody takes your token safety pin? I'm in.
Please let me know if I slip though!

here goes: my ESH without mentioning ____ or _____ or _______.
My recovery has helped me to handle problems ranging from a hangnail to a full blown life & death crisis much better. When life becomes difficult I am more likely to see it in the light of recovery, except that there are times when I fail to apply what I know. When that happens I tend to be critical of myself and then I have to stop that nonsense and say..."WTG girl you are improving."
Lately I'm not having too many problems with my old negative behaviors but I would like to see some more positive actions take place in my life and change the things I can.
Whew... thanks for letting me share.

kermit

Wow so I just realized I already blew it, with out even thinking about it I staryed talking about him with a friend

LucyA

I just know I can't do it, not this week anyway theres too much going on that involves him at the moment. I have done it in the past though, at one time every conversation I had with anyone, they'd bring it up, ask how he was, how he was doing etc. Used to do my head in, so I made myself become more assertive and refused point blank to discuss him in any way. I can see the value of this thread because I felt stronger in myself when I felt able to keep conversations brother free.
There will be lots of people who can't do it, and thats ok because I agree with Barbara too, isn't talking about them how most of us begin to help ourselves?

sodetermined

For me, yes it was. I think that it would be difficult for me at this time to not talk about my abf. When I originally started my recovery, 2 years ago, my posts were all about him. And I was so thankful at that time for the support, people that had been through the same things and were further ahead in their recovery than I was. I mean, everyone seems to be at different stages of their own recovery here, and maybe for those a little bit further ahead, it would be easier to not talk about their SO.

Kindeyes

I love the threads about Alanon literature. I try to take the things I have learned and apply them to my everyday life. I feel good about myself when I do that and I refer to the principals of recovery everyday. It's amazing how I will extend those codependent behaviors beyond the A in my life and how the principals of recovery apply well beyond their initial application.

I think that because people are in such different stages of their own recovery they have different needs. Perhaps those who are further in their recovery can share posts that deal with the everyday use and application of recovery.

I think this is a great idea to diverify the post topics!

Rella927

One week starting yesterday so that makes it down to 6 days FD?

I will give it a go-(Pssssst I want to be like CMC when I grow up as the post was a great example!)

FormerDoormat

This is exactly the idea I had in mind. Perhaps a good place to start may be to have folks find some of their favorite recovery threads, bump them back to the top, and then tell us what they learned from the highlighted thread. Another idea would be to take a topic that you've particularly struggling with, like self-esteem, do some internet research on it (a la Minnie style) and present your findings and links to the info in a new thread.

I also like Prodie's idea for a thread that focuses on our interests, etc., so we can get to know each other better and appreciate our differences. Note to Prodie: Notice the short paragraphs. They're for you, kid!