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I really can't crying... i need help

Old 03-01-2008, 12:23 PM
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I really can't crying... i need help

He took my car and was in an accident. He was clean at the time... He has been clean for a while... Though I think he felt so bad about the accident that he got high... I kicked him out... Now I have insurance companies calling me needing a statement... What do I do? Tell them he is gone??? I had to lie to my family. I said another car hit me.... I need him for a statement... I can't find him... he is at his crack-heads friends house... I HAVE NO CAR!!! It's gone.... my diamond necklace is missing too... I am so sad... I work so hard,, and they just TAKE TAKE AND TAKE AND TAKE... I really can't take it.... I feel like going to a hospital.... BUT I NO INSURANCE AND NO MONEY.... HE TOOK IT ALL TOO.... I CANT TAKE IT!!!!!!!!! I CANT!!!! I AM ALL ALONE... I HATE I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM... ******* DRUGS!!!! I CANT TAKE IT...
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Old 03-01-2008, 01:43 PM
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So sorry to read that you are going through this.
Try to handle things one step at a time.
He is using, you kicked him out...ok the biggest problem has been handled for the time being.

Now what to do about the insurance company...
What did he say happened? If it is an at fault you would have a deductable even if he gave a statement. If so, it wouldn't matter what the statement says, so no statement is truly needed.
If it isn't an at fault... just tell them what you know and tell them he is out of the house for personal reasons and you have no way of contacting him...your statement is all you can give them. They accept that or you have a deductable.
So a deductable is the most you need be concerned about on that matter.

As for missing money and the necklace... if he took them, there is only a slim chance you will ever see either of them again. Take the loss and move on or put in a police report and maybe never see them anyway but still you will need move on past this storm either way.
Your not alone.
You have us here at SR and you have family. Gather in the support that is around you and together, not alone...you will get past this.
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Old 03-01-2008, 05:57 PM
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I am not covered on my car, but it was the other cars fault, so I would have received compensation, but too much time is going by and he is not helping... I had to junk the car today... it was such a hard choice, if he helped, I would get the money to fix the car, but he has not and I really could not wait... The car is in storage and I am charged each day it is there... the storage fees would have ended up costing more then the car... (I live in New York City, so storage fees with cars can be quite $$$) I am just so upset... He was clean for so long and now I have no clue anymore.... I have no car and now I am out the money for the tow and storage fees.... I just can't believe I am going though this again and again... I think it is just best to just cut all ties and take the loss... what do I do from here.... I am just so upset... I lost so much money when he was using, that I am in such debt and I have nothing... I do nothing, buy nothing, and he just takes and takes and takes.... I work 50- 60 hours a week and I know now I need to get another job or I will never get back on track... I am so tired of this... I DID NOTHING WRONG!!!! I NEVER CHEATED NEVER LIED, WHY!!!!!!!???????????


Originally Posted by best View Post
So sorry to read that you are going through this.
Try to handle things one step at a time.
He is using, you kicked him out...ok the biggest problem has been handled for the time being.

Now what to do about the insurance company...
What did he say happened? If it is an at fault you would have a deductable even if he gave a statement. If so, it wouldn't matter what the statement says, so no statement is truly needed.
If it isn't an at fault... just tell them what you know and tell them he is out of the house for personal reasons and you have no way of contacting him...your statement is all you can give them. They accept that or you have a deductable.
So a deductable is the most you need be concerned about on that matter.

As for missing money and the necklace... if he took them, there is only a slim chance you will ever see either of them again. Take the loss and move on or put in a police report and maybe never see them anyway but still you will need move on past this storm either way.
Your not alone.
You have us here at SR and you have family. Gather in the support that is around you and together, not alone...you will get past this.
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Old 03-01-2008, 06:03 PM
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I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. Tell the insurance company the truth (not about the drug issue but about being unable to contact him). Even if you elect not to fix the car, I would think that they would still cut you a check for the amount of the repairs.

Gentle hugs to you. You need them right now.
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Old 03-01-2008, 06:04 PM
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thank you so much... to all you that i really don't know... i really need your prayers.
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Old 03-01-2008, 06:49 PM
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I had to hit my bottom before I realized that life with an addict is no life at all. Perhaps this is your bottom and you will seek recovery for yourself. Alanon, therapy, and SR have been lifesavers for many of us on this forum.
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Old 03-01-2008, 07:00 PM
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Kindeyes is right, you don't have to fix the car. You have to be compensated for your loss which includes the value of the property damaged as well as expenses (which means the storage).

If you have the info on the other driver you should be able to file a claim without him giving info.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Like best said, just take things one at a time. You can do it.
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Old 03-01-2008, 07:36 PM
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Originally Posted by littlebird77 View Post
I just can't believe I am going though this again and again...
I used to say that same thing over and over and over. I finally had enough and left. It wasn't worth losing everything I had worked for in my life. I wound up losing it any way because I didnt leave soon enough. No, I waited till it was way too late and I lost all my good credit standing.

When I finally did get out I found that my x had opened all kinds of credit cards, maxed them out, AND PUT ME AS A JOINT USER!
You can't believe the hell I have been through trying to get this straightened out.
It's been 2 years since the divorce, and I am still battling credit companies for debt that is not mine.

Can you believe that he will still call me with "important" news every few months? (the next door neighbor got arrested, the kids in the neighborhood lost their grandfather) Like we are best friends or something? When I go off on him about the credit mess I get, "Oh, I am sorry you have to go through that with the credit cards. I really didn't mean for you to have to go through that, it's not your fault...quack quack quack".

All talk and no action.
I will never involve myself with an addict or alcoholic again. They drain the life out of you.
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Old 03-01-2008, 07:45 PM
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littlebird - you are not alone - we are here for you. I know this is hard but as said above - take just one step at a time...

It must be very overwhelming with all this but the best you can do is breathe and by taking it slowly - you will figure it out one by one

keep posting too it will help

hugs to you

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Old 03-02-2008, 03:56 PM
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He called... He is mad at me because I kicked him out... He is clueless because I kicked him out because he was high... He says he is sick of my abuse and me kicking him out for a little mistake... he called me a ****, a *****, stupid, a fat Fu*k, abusive and that he hopes I die... WHY????? PLEASE HELP ME
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Old 03-02-2008, 03:59 PM
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Littlebird, do you want to continue a relationship with this man? If not, perhaps you might want to consider not taking his phone calls, emails, etc for while to give yourself time to heal a bit and begin to understand what you want for youself going forward.
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Old 03-02-2008, 04:16 PM
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I don't know what I want, but I want to do that alone... cept for you guys.
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Old 03-02-2008, 04:21 PM
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(((((((((((littlebird)))))))))))))

Ur not alone...big hugs to you...
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Old 03-02-2008, 05:02 PM
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I'd rather be alone than to spend time with an abusive drunk. The first step in my recovery was to figure out why I let people treat me so poorly. Do you attend Alanon? It helped me immensely.
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Old 03-03-2008, 07:39 AM
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He's being a jerk because you're standing up for yourself. As long as he's not getting his way he'll act that way. He's trying to manipulate you. You have to take care of you, only you. Be safe.
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Old 03-03-2008, 06:10 PM
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littlebird take a step back and breathe.... you know that what his says is druken crappola

It is hard to let the harmful words roll but you have to try otherwise it will tear you in two - this about you not him... youhave to decide what you want -n set the boundry and as for him oh well..

really - he is just trying to bait you try as hard as you can not to take it

keep postinmg
keep reading

u r not alone

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Old 03-03-2008, 06:54 PM
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((((littlebird))))

Keep coming back here and post anytime...we are here to help eachother...I am praying for you.
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Old 03-04-2008, 07:36 PM
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hey guys i went to my first alanon metting today... no one bit me
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