lots of things
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
As you said earlier:
So what if he "blames" you. (For what, I'm not clear) You're done playing that game, right?
I hope you go do something fun this week so you aren't even home if he calls. Problem solved!
L
Originally Posted by hopeangel 
so much of my marriage was spent in a competition with ah. it's not even about that anymore. unfortunately for him it is still who is right or wrong, he's still carrying blame and resentment, and still competing. i'm not. i just want to be happy and do the right thing....
I hope you go do something fun this week so you aren't even home if he calls. Problem solved!
L
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Idaho
Posts: 47
just want your opinions on whether or not to take his phone calls if he calls this week. i don't want to, but i'm sure it will then be my fault for not taking the calls (if he calls) and then once again he will put the blame on me.
any ideas how to handle this?
IMHO, if you don't want to talk to him you don't have to. He will try to blame you, but you don't have to accept it. You need space for you, time for you to get your head clear and your heart to mend. If he won't understand that, then he is not the loving person you deserve. If he "blames" you for trying to take care of you, he is merely trying to manipulate you into doing something you don't want to do, and that is selfish on his part.
Again, just my opinion.
any ideas how to handle this?
IMHO, if you don't want to talk to him you don't have to. He will try to blame you, but you don't have to accept it. You need space for you, time for you to get your head clear and your heart to mend. If he won't understand that, then he is not the loving person you deserve. If he "blames" you for trying to take care of you, he is merely trying to manipulate you into doing something you don't want to do, and that is selfish on his part.
Again, just my opinion.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
latee, i'm laughing right now because do you know that as soon as i wrote that i knew you would call me on it 
funny i can predict your responses sometimes even before you respond. again, thanks friend. and yes, i'm back in perspective, i am going to try and do just that something fun for me this weekend your the best!
oh and, another reoccuring theme "trust yourself" funny i was just preaching this to someone else this week. guess it is time for me to heed my own words
minnel, awesome response too -thank you!
funny i can predict your responses sometimes even before you respond. again, thanks friend. and yes, i'm back in perspective, i am going to try and do just that something fun for me this weekend your the best!oh and, another reoccuring theme "trust yourself" funny i was just preaching this to someone else this week. guess it is time for me to heed my own words
minnel, awesome response too -thank you!
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
thing is i've never lied to ah and i know that if the tables were turned i wouldn't want him going with another woman to a concert while we're still married. but i big part of me doesn't even feel guilty anymore because ah gave up on the marriage a long time ago, lies to me, and i don't know where he is at till 4:30 in the morning. he's having an affair with alchold most nights. it's such a double standerd. ah and i don't even talk anymore and i can see real men that have interest in me. the other guy i have mentioned before is still around too.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: California
Posts: 303
Originally Posted by hopeangel
he was drinking last night in the basement, so no words were spoken yesterday either?????????????.
Now that I've got that out, I can get back to working on myself!
Shivaya
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Originally Posted by SHIVAYA
my AH drinks in the garage, for hours and hours.......
L
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