good_luck

Do you feel as though it is a moral obligation to be straight with people about their addictions, when you see that they are in real trouble?

I do, for certain. I was just curious about other's opinions.

It's not about thinking that I can talk someone out of their problems, it's more about being true to myself and honest with those that I care about.

hope2bhappy

I don't see anything wrong with expressing concern to someone out of love, but don't expect them to "hear" what you say and then change their ways. Say it and drop it.

Miss Pink

I am entitled to ONE conversation about how someones behavior/drinking etc affects me. I make sure they hear me, that their ears are filled with peanut butter and Ive said all I want to say.

And thats it. If they dont change their behavior, then its my responsibility to accept their choice to drink, die, lie etc,,and stay or move on.

Beyond telling them once, Im trying to control them to see things my way and do things my way.

Barbara52

It depends on so many things that I can't give a single answer. Is it a casual acquaintance? Then no because I wouldn't know enough to form an opinion. If its a close friend I knew had problems with substance abuse, then yes but only to a point. Its not my palce to tell them over and over they should deal with their problems, whatever they may be. Is it one of my children? Depends on their age. When the potential for a drug use problem was showing up in my then 14 yo, his father and I took agressive action and sent him to a wilderness rehab school for a year.

At any rate, its not a simple question with a simple answer. What it comes down to is that just as I had no control over my AH, I have no control over any other adult. I can talk with them a time or two but the addict is the only one who can choose to help themselves. I don't have nor want the power to change them.

mushroom

No.

I'm not God. It's not my job to set people straight. If it's a relationship where it's affecting me directly and unavoidably, then I might consider presenting my side. If it's a spouse or child living in the same home that's a different story, someone you're tied to legally. Even so, often your only recourse is to break the relationship.

But no matter who it is, I do not have the power to make someone see what they don't want to see, and I do not have the power to make someone change. Not my job.

Barbara52

The other side of this question is whether or not there are addicts/alcoholics out there who don't understand (somewhere deep down at any rate) that they have a problem? I know they often voice denials but isn't there awareness somewhere that what they are doing is not good for them?

CBrown

Yes, to sit down with an addict you care greatly about and with care express your concerns. My point where I stepped in was when it appeared end-stage. Be prepared for that person to cut you out of his/her life. The couple As I've known gravitated toward those who weren't going to nag him about their concerns - namely enablers, fellow alcoholics, and those who profit from As. But you never know if you will be the one who finally tips the scales and the A will seek help. Ultimately the change will have to come from the A and only the A.

justjo

Im not sure about moral obligation. All I know is that I have begged my sis for years to stop this madness and she is fully aware she is in real trouble. (doctors have told her death is knocking). She still continues today, so I have typed in the word 'Fullstop'
No one can stop a person from this addiction except the addict. It really depends on how many more drinks they need before they decide to stop.

Lilyflower

I approached my abf with my concerns over his drinking, it took him a year to come back to me and agree he had a problem.

Lily xxxxxxxxx

Rella927

I have learned that they do not hear what is said when you confront them on their addictions-They hear what they want to hear-

I wasted my breathe in the past on voicing my opinion on others addictions/problems...which in return I created chaos and drama- in my life for myself.

Today I no longer waste energy on telling someone they have a problem- because it is just that THEIR PROBLEM.

Today....I take care of my own problems.

JMHO...