hbb

EXCELLENT point, i never really thought about it that way. I tend to go where i THINK they might be and usually nope, not there! I go to the gym daily and have ventured out to the free weight room way more than i ever did. It's ALOT of guys, which is intimidating especially if i don't like my body image at the gym, but what the hell, we are all there for the same reason, right?!! So i've been conscious of keeping a pleasant face walking around and making eye contact more and more. These guys at my gym are SO nice, i always thought no one would really talk but they do

p.s. hey Geees i even got a wink from some guy a few weeks ago and was taken back lol

hbb

Anvil, thank you, very eloquently and clearly put. Last week i was talking with my therapist and we agreed that society puts a "timeline" on certain things like marriage, children and that white picket fence living. I've chosen this week to focus on me and if someone should cross my path then so be it. I"m not going out seeking anytime soon, not anymore. I need to be choosy and picky. I thought i was going to be that way before J. I said to myself that after what i had been through with Brian that i wouldn't allow myself to get lost in someone else. I truly think this last time around was lesson enough for a lifetime, i'm hoping.

LaTeeDa

Ahhh, but you said it so much more elegantly................

CBrown

Aw Heather, these last few posts reminded me of the last time I was on "the market" back in 2006. I did what the above posts suggested, started checking out the guys at the horse shows, and TRUST ME there are a lot of cute cowboys! There was one cute one riding a horse in the practice ring so I lean over to my trainer/friend Rudy and said "who's that?" I swear I didn't have "the tone" that said I was interested but guys know girls. He started harrumphing. "Aw, that's so & so, he used to date L (his wife) and I don't think he's good looking at all!!!!" Whoops!!! Trust me to pick the guy who used to date L!!!

Next show, at 4H regionals, there was a GORGEOUS guy I tell you, going around the grounds. I said to my friends "wait till you see THIS one ... blah blah blah about him." Turns out he was the father of two of our 4H group kids!!! I knew his wife pretty well, but the dad had never been around until then! OMG, I wanted to die! He really is the nicest guy, and that killed it when I found out he was married, but my friend B will NEVER let me live that one down!!!

Heather, they're right. Embrace your hobbies and they will come. Learn from me and don't look away right off the bat. Get to be his friend first, find out all about him, and let the chemistry flow! It will happen! As for me, I'm going back to the shows this year a-lookin, and I might even try the singles group Sunday night at church.

If you don't go fishing, you can't catch them. Key is to find a GOOD fishing hole and to know when to throw them back. Catching's not necessary, it's still fun sitting on the side of the lake enjoying the scenery too.

tryingtoheal

I have to jump in really quick here. I promise and swear to you I am not looking for attention or bragging or anything at all...

This sounds so boastful, but anyway: I am 6'2" and thin and have modeled in London. Most places I go, I cannot escape comments, whispers, pointed fingers and gawks, questions like "are you a model?" and "are you from sweden?", not to mention too many ignorant male comments that I cannot print here, etc. But let me tell you something - this is NOT always a good thing! I am considered unapproachable, off-limits, unfriendly, etc. Why? I have absolutely no idea! I am the annoying girl (of which you all speak) at the bars, I suppose. I have been told so many times that men are intimidated by me, think I appear snobbish, give off a higher-than-thou attitude, etc.

If you knew me, this couldn't be further from the truth! I am witty, shy, insecure, empathetic, kind, down-to-earth, etc. I can't take a compliment to save my life! I am too skinny (I try so hard to gain weight, but can't), have no boobs or butt, too-long of a neck, monkey-like arms that drag on the ground , etc.

Point is: everyone struggles daily with all the same issues as everyone else, yet I get eye rolls and "oh, I wish I had that problem" if I ever complain about not being able to gain an ounce. If they knew how I used to cry when I was in high school about being called the 'stick girl' by my 'teasing' friends!! They thought it was funny and thought I liked it and never knew how much it hurt!

So, whoever you are, BE WHO YOU ARE. We will always covet others for certain things. But what is the point? Try to move towards acceptance of yourself. It took me sooooo long to get there, but I am now so very happy with myself and honor those who know me for who I am with my love and trust. I also love my body today, not for what others see in it, but for how it moves, feels, my good health, athleticism, etc.

hbb

Tryingtoheal ~ point VERY well made. I definately think it goes in many directions. I have a friend that gets comments for being too thin as well. It's hurtful for her to hear "oh wish i had the problem, your so skinny". She said what's the difference, it sounds as bad as being called overweight. I agree with her. It's disrespecful period.

My mom taught me at a very young age, if i were to go rudely commenting on peoples looks, that you can't help how you look with regards to how you were born and the features you were given therefore it's not right or nice. So i don't and would never do it.

I don't really comment if i'm out regarding others and how they look and act, unless your the two ANNOYING jerk girls across the bar with everything hanging out and throwning limes at our group for no reason during the Patriots game a week ago lol!!!!! Then i have a big beef with you!!

I always think first, i say "what would i want other's to think or say about me". I"m definately one of those people that think of how i would, and have felt in the past by being commented at.

good_luck

I've been a little overweight in the past, and no one said anything. I have been a little underweight, and was amazed at the hurtful things that people said to me. Especially because the overweight was due to a content life and good food, but the underweight was the result of some serious stress and depression.

I don't think too much about what I look like. When I do, I find myself totally acceptable. My two cents: It is seriously all about confidence. Personally, I get the fact that I am a really awesome person. People are drawn to that. I don't think it has anything to do with looks at all.

CBrown

"my point WAS that MEN aren't FISH!!! or ducks. you don't hunt them, or track them. "

Kinda meant that more figuratively than literally! I'm not on a manhunt, but if a nice guy wandered past me ... I'm not going to look the other way. Since I got divorced it's pretty much been my philosophy that I didn't have to be in a relationship or married, but I wouldn't rule it out either.