What Have I Done??
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Mr C, I met someone a a while back that I just knew was the perfect person. Everything about him was wonderful. As time went on, I realized that he would not hold down a job. All the while spending a lot of money on me. How does that happen? Why he was borrowing money from all his friends. He didn't even drink or drug!
Once I realized what was going on, I let go of him immediately. It wasn't easy, but when I projected into the future, it didn't look good and I didn't wanna be dragged into a mess.
Well, now it's over a year later. He married someone he met online from a foreign country. He brought her here. Since they married he spent every single penny she had been saving for her entire life. They have been evicted because he doesn't pay his bills. She's not a citizen and she can't get a green card, so she can't work.
I feel bad for her.
But, I feel better for myself. Because if I had remained in the denial stage, I would be out on the street with him. I am not willing to live like that.
Once I realized what was going on, I let go of him immediately. It wasn't easy, but when I projected into the future, it didn't look good and I didn't wanna be dragged into a mess.
Well, now it's over a year later. He married someone he met online from a foreign country. He brought her here. Since they married he spent every single penny she had been saving for her entire life. They have been evicted because he doesn't pay his bills. She's not a citizen and she can't get a green card, so she can't work.
I feel bad for her.
But, I feel better for myself. Because if I had remained in the denial stage, I would be out on the street with him. I am not willing to live like that.
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
Well, I met her though a friend. My friend, and room mate went to school with her.
After all this happened my friend tells me, "Well she was always crazy".
Yep that's it give me the pretty crazy chicks...
After all this happened my friend tells me, "Well she was always crazy".
Yep that's it give me the pretty crazy chicks...
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Right here somewhere
Posts: 509
if you want her out of your head and heart FAST...then go take a drink, snort some coke or pop a pill. That erases all trace of the pain.....for a while.
If you want to grow and learn how to pay attention to red flags and stop pciking emotionally ill people, then start feeling the pain, processing it and learn to do things differently.
Nothing changes til something changes. Erasing the pain will only permit you to do it all over again with another babe.
Is that what you want?
If you want to grow and learn how to pay attention to red flags and stop pciking emotionally ill people, then start feeling the pain, processing it and learn to do things differently.
Nothing changes til something changes. Erasing the pain will only permit you to do it all over again with another babe.
Is that what you want?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: "Somewhere in Ohio" ... little joke from past
Posts: 481
Aw, Mr. Christian ... don't be hard on yourself. We all backslide. What did you do? Just prove that you're human. That's all. Now pick yourself up, dust off the cape, and take off again!
Either that, or I'll grab your tights and snap 'em good & hard on ya! HEH HEH
Either that, or I'll grab your tights and snap 'em good & hard on ya! HEH HEH
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
well it seems for me, since recovery began, everyone looks like they have flags!!!!!
how do ya get around that???? durn, they all can't be sickies, can they?????
unless i'm a red flag magnet. that must be it. ohhhhhh noooooooooo!!!!!!!!
i'm doooooommmeedddddd!!!!!!
how do ya get around that???? durn, they all can't be sickies, can they?????
unless i'm a red flag magnet. that must be it. ohhhhhh noooooooooo!!!!!!!!
i'm doooooommmeedddddd!!!!!!
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
I guess everyone could wave a red flag about something if we look hard enough.
This one I should have paid attention to though.
I was blindsided by the fact that she did everything right for me while she was with me.
It’s funny because they all seem fantastic when you get started then the harsh reality comes out.
Now you girls and the tights, well this is whole other issue….
This one I should have paid attention to though.
I was blindsided by the fact that she did everything right for me while she was with me.
It’s funny because they all seem fantastic when you get started then the harsh reality comes out.
Now you girls and the tights, well this is whole other issue….
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Every relationship I've ever been involved in has a honeymoon stage. I've come to believe that the honeymoon stage has a purpose: It allows me to see others momentarily in their best light so I'm more likely to want to procreate. Without the honeymoon stage, chances are I'd see red flags everywhere and I'd never find anyone attractive.
Everyone has some sort of red flag. The secret is to weed out the folks who are dressed head to toe in red flags from those who are just sporting a red g-string.
In your friend's case, perhaps her red flags took the form of a teeny bikini and and you missed them because her bikini was removed so quickly....
Oh, and Supe, who cares about the cape. But do let me know when your tights are in the cleaners, ba-bee.:rof
Everyone has some sort of red flag. The secret is to weed out the folks who are dressed head to toe in red flags from those who are just sporting a red g-string.
In your friend's case, perhaps her red flags took the form of a teeny bikini and and you missed them because her bikini was removed so quickly....
Oh, and Supe, who cares about the cape. But do let me know when your tights are in the cleaners, ba-bee.:rof
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: "Somewhere in Ohio" ... little joke from past
Posts: 481
"It’s funny because they all seem fantastic when you get started then the harsh reality comes out."
Don't feel bad, Mr. C. I went through NINE YEARS of thinking my XABF was a pretty cool guy. He didn't live in the same town and was one of those "woman in every town" kinda guys. He painted a vastly different picture of who he was in comparison to the reality. Why didn't I figure it out? Well, I might have cared about him, but we weren't really in a relationship until the end. We did more talking than anything. But here's the thing. Once the harsh reality came out -- his true abusive, untruthful, manipulative behavior -- the flags went flying and I laid down the boundaries.
I attended the Landmark Forum in 1996 and one of the things I was taught that I remember every day is applied like this ... Mr. C. you ARE going to be faced with people with "deal-breaker" issues. The difference between before and powerful living now is how QUICKLY you get back on track.
SNAP go the tights!
Don't feel bad, Mr. C. I went through NINE YEARS of thinking my XABF was a pretty cool guy. He didn't live in the same town and was one of those "woman in every town" kinda guys. He painted a vastly different picture of who he was in comparison to the reality. Why didn't I figure it out? Well, I might have cared about him, but we weren't really in a relationship until the end. We did more talking than anything. But here's the thing. Once the harsh reality came out -- his true abusive, untruthful, manipulative behavior -- the flags went flying and I laid down the boundaries.
I attended the Landmark Forum in 1996 and one of the things I was taught that I remember every day is applied like this ... Mr. C. you ARE going to be faced with people with "deal-breaker" issues. The difference between before and powerful living now is how QUICKLY you get back on track.
SNAP go the tights!
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