Kindeyes

I have to do a lot of talking to myself to keep myself in line. When that little voice in my head starts talking to someone other than me......I've ventured off my path.

I ask myself lots of questions in my head when I'm dealing with someone else. I work with the general public. What a strange group of people......the general public.....they are certainly affected by the phases of the moon.

Here's a question that I ask myself all the time when I'm dealing with a person that is being grouchy, or snotty, or just plain mean. "Who has the bug?"

It seems that for my whole life I would deal with someone who was being mean and take it very personally. It would make me angry, or cry, or hurt my feelings, or respond in a manner that was against my nature....I would get mean right back at them. In essence, I would take the "bug" that they walked in with and make it my own. It could often affect my mood for the rest of the day (or week or longer). Then I would do something even worse. I would take that "bug" that I accepted from that other person and PASS IT ON to someone else willing to take the "bug" from me. I'm pretty sure that they probably did the same and just kept passing that bug on and on and on.

So.....now I try to ask myself "Who has the bug?" when someone is behaving in a manner that I take offense to. And if the answer in my head says, "That person has the bug." I refuse to take it from them. I don't let myself be bugged by the person who is bugged. Why on earth would I take the bug that is up someone elses butt and shove it up my own? (Sorry for the graphic reference but this is the thought process in my own mind--and it works for me.)

My A son often says or does things that are just plain mean. :chatter Or he is trying to provoke me into an arguement. Or he is trying to make me feel as crappy as he is feeling. I ask myself "Who has the bug?" and if the answer is "He has the bug." I can walk away or refuse to respond in a like manner or just say "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "hmmmmm" (that has become one of my favorite responses to him and I usually say it with a Mona Lisa smile).

This works when I'm concentrating on me. As soon as I start to focus on him, I take the bait (hook, line and sinker). And the rest of my day (or week) reflects who has the "bug"........and it's ME!

ICU

Whose bug is it? Whose problem is it? Yup...I ask myself that question too.

I am 'just beginning' to get that concept. I almost said 'mastered it'...LOL! I'm not quite there yet! But I hope to be one day...soon!

Another question I ask of myself if I keep on having to deal with this bug infested person is, 'is being around this person, as in having them in my life, enhancing my life, or taking away from it'? Eventually, I have to decide on whether or not to continue that relationship.

Great topic Kindeyes!

lovemypup

It' funny I was just thinking about this the other day.
I remember when I was with my A. I seemed to have the bug everyday when I arrived home from work and had to face a drunk. Instantly I had the bug.
Now after being divorced for 2 years I have not had the bug like that again. I loved the man, but he gave me bugs!

Lilyflower

I used to believe people passed me 'bug', now I am realising that all they did was awaken the 'bug' that was dormant within me.