Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2
Hello
Just wanted to say "hello". I have been visiting this forum for over a year but posted for the first time recently. The posts have been very very helpful...thank you all!
I have read my story here over and over which has made me sad but has also given me hope for my own future. I have been with my AH for almost 12 years. He has been in/out rehab 13 out of the past 34 months and outside of rehab has not been sober for more then a week at a time, nor has he ever REALLY worked a program. I am moving across the country (leaving in Saturday). In my mind we are done. Nothing has changed in the last 4 years...not likely that anything will change in the near future. Now I am getting the suicide attempts and threats and the "I can't live without you". I have tried to be 100% honest with him but that typically results in anger, depression and more drinking. He can't handle my leaving and I don't know how to handle his fragile emotional state.
UGH!!!!!!!
I have read my story here over and over which has made me sad but has also given me hope for my own future. I have been with my AH for almost 12 years. He has been in/out rehab 13 out of the past 34 months and outside of rehab has not been sober for more then a week at a time, nor has he ever REALLY worked a program. I am moving across the country (leaving in Saturday). In my mind we are done. Nothing has changed in the last 4 years...not likely that anything will change in the near future. Now I am getting the suicide attempts and threats and the "I can't live without you". I have tried to be 100% honest with him but that typically results in anger, depression and more drinking. He can't handle my leaving and I don't know how to handle his fragile emotional state.
UGH!!!!!!!
Last edited by Hope4peace; 11-26-2007 at 03:43 PM. Reason: spelling
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 477
Hope....know that you gave it your best. You know you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. Live your life for you. Best wishes for your upcoming move and please stay with us to let us know how YOU get on.
ARL
ARL
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Welcome. Keep the focus on you. You deserve a wonderful life don't be manipulated, pulled or made to feel responsible. If it makes you feel better give him the phone # for sucide hotline, counseling ctr., AA, etc. and tell him to call them instead of you. Moving on and moving out + moving away takes courage. Good for you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
I'm sorry you are going thru this but glad to read you have make a postiive decision for yourself.
As for how to handle his empotional state, all I can suggest is to remain as detached as possible.
As for how to handle his empotional state, all I can suggest is to remain as detached as possible.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Sending you hugs and strength to continue on your course of self-protection and self-love, hope. I hope he finds his way too. I'm glad that the stories here have been helpful to you too...they have helped me a ton too.
There's a saying in my group of friends, "the closer you are to the gate, the louder the lions roar" The closer you get to freeing yourself from the rollercoaster of addiction, the more the drama will double and redouble...and then suddenly you will be free, like the wheels of the airplane suddenly leaving the ground. It doesn't end entirely then, but you are definitely put into the driver's seat at that point, and can steer yourself toward happiness.
Love,
GL
There's a saying in my group of friends, "the closer you are to the gate, the louder the lions roar" The closer you get to freeing yourself from the rollercoaster of addiction, the more the drama will double and redouble...and then suddenly you will be free, like the wheels of the airplane suddenly leaving the ground. It doesn't end entirely then, but you are definitely put into the driver's seat at that point, and can steer yourself toward happiness.
Love,
GL
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
I was married for 18 years and had two children with him. I used to say it was like being a single parent raising three children. I still remember the day I came to the realization that I was not responsible for him. He is a grown man and can make his own choices. I have never felt such complete and total relief. I hope one day soon you will have the same feeling. 
L
L
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