Hi I am new here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Lancashire, UK
Posts: 7
Hi I am new here
Hello, I thought I had better introduce myself.
I have been living with my partner now for 12 months and I attend Al Anon Meetings regularly to try to obtain some serenity from her illness.
At present I am not sure where the road leads, the part of me that loves and adores her when she is sobre, wishes to stay. This conflicts with the other part of me that is sick of the lack of affection, the abuse, and all the denial and dishonesty.
In a nutshell, this sums up my situation - hope to be better acquainted with you all soon.
Gary
I have been living with my partner now for 12 months and I attend Al Anon Meetings regularly to try to obtain some serenity from her illness.
At present I am not sure where the road leads, the part of me that loves and adores her when she is sobre, wishes to stay. This conflicts with the other part of me that is sick of the lack of affection, the abuse, and all the denial and dishonesty.
In a nutshell, this sums up my situation - hope to be better acquainted with you all soon.
Gary
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Hi,Gary..........so glad you have joined us. I know so well the feelings you describe.
Stick around,read,post. There are lots of wonderful people who understand,too and will share their experiences and knowledge.
I am so glad you introduced yourself; I hope you stick around!
Stick around,read,post. There are lots of wonderful people who understand,too and will share their experiences and knowledge.
I am so glad you introduced yourself; I hope you stick around!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hi Gary,
I'm glad you found us -- naturally I wish we could be meeting under better circumstances, but still glad you're here.
I think we all have that same sort of split-personality issue with our alcoholic loved ones. If not for that, I don't think we'd need a forum like Sober Recovery...the choices would be so easy. When they are sober, they give us a taste of what we originally loved about them. When they aren't, they make us wonder what in the heck we're doing there. It can be so exhausting and confusing to try to figure out what is the best path to take...all the road signs to Happiness are pointing in crazy directions.
Anyway, I gained a lot from reading other peoples' posts, and especially by reading the Sticky posts at the top of the forum. It helped me stay sane. I hope you'll stick around and tell us more about yourself.
Hugs,
GL
I'm glad you found us -- naturally I wish we could be meeting under better circumstances, but still glad you're here.
I think we all have that same sort of split-personality issue with our alcoholic loved ones. If not for that, I don't think we'd need a forum like Sober Recovery...the choices would be so easy. When they are sober, they give us a taste of what we originally loved about them. When they aren't, they make us wonder what in the heck we're doing there. It can be so exhausting and confusing to try to figure out what is the best path to take...all the road signs to Happiness are pointing in crazy directions.
Anyway, I gained a lot from reading other peoples' posts, and especially by reading the Sticky posts at the top of the forum. It helped me stay sane. I hope you'll stick around and tell us more about yourself.
Hugs,
GL
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 477
Hi, Gary, and welcome to SR...it's a safe place!
When they are sober, they give us a taste of what we originally loved about them.
That's what I thought too until, after reading a lot on these boards, it struck me that, despite XABF's sobriety (white knuckling) when I met him and fell in love, maybe I never have known who he really is. Admittedly, even after he really started drinking again I wanted him sober but the fact is his daily 8 hours of sobriety was just a lull in his drinking. If he was being extra nice and agreeable early in the day I think it was him buttering me up to accept the inevitable drinking later in the day.
ARL
When they are sober, they give us a taste of what we originally loved about them.
That's what I thought too until, after reading a lot on these boards, it struck me that, despite XABF's sobriety (white knuckling) when I met him and fell in love, maybe I never have known who he really is. Admittedly, even after he really started drinking again I wanted him sober but the fact is his daily 8 hours of sobriety was just a lull in his drinking. If he was being extra nice and agreeable early in the day I think it was him buttering me up to accept the inevitable drinking later in the day.
ARL
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
Hi Gary...and welcome
Isn't it amazing how we have all survived on the few scraps of affection and concern that they throw our way?? My XAH was pretty good at being a caring partner but lookout when we disagreed with him when drunk.....talk about walking on egg shells. You will gain alot of insight by just reading and posting we help and heal together here at SR. Read the stickies at the top they are invaluable with the information in them. Nice to meet you and remember our mantra here:
You didnt cause it
You cant control it
You cant cure it
The 3 C's....
Janitw
Isn't it amazing how we have all survived on the few scraps of affection and concern that they throw our way?? My XAH was pretty good at being a caring partner but lookout when we disagreed with him when drunk.....talk about walking on egg shells. You will gain alot of insight by just reading and posting we help and heal together here at SR. Read the stickies at the top they are invaluable with the information in them. Nice to meet you and remember our mantra here:
You didnt cause it
You cant control it
You cant cure it
The 3 C's....
Janitw
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Lancashire, UK
Posts: 7
Thanks everyone for their kind words, encouragement and solidarity.
I will try to post as much as I can but will be reading quite a bit initially.
Then again I usually say that and conversely never shut up!
Thanks again everyone.
Gary /|\
I will try to post as much as I can but will be reading quite a bit initially.
Then again I usually say that and conversely never shut up!
Thanks again everyone.
Gary /|\
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
Welcome Gary. Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself comfortable.
Have you checked out the "sticky" posts yet? I highly recommend them and revisit them often myself. Lots of great information in there.
Pull up a comfy chair and make yourself comfortable. Have you checked out the "sticky" posts yet? I highly recommend them and revisit them often myself. Lots of great information in there.
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