kglast

HI all. Hope this post finds everyone well....I was doing very well for a while - had a slip in September and saw him again, for a weekend, but was getting back on my feet (of course, his relationship with the older woman is already over....) when I got a call that XAF was just released from the hospital after attempting suicide.....

Needless to say, I have been back on the flippin rollercoaster for the last couple of weeks.....I know that I need to get off....the immediate crisis has passed but still, nothing has really changed....if anything he has gotten worse (no surprise, right???) and has added regular coke and crack use to his repertoire....GREAT.

So I am home this stormy NE weekend, trying like hell to take care of myself and my home and get my focus back on me....trying to stop the obsessive thoughts of him and whether or not he is OK. Of course, I know he is not....

I am just so sad....I feel like he is going to die soon, whether it is intentional or accidental, and I know there is nothing I can do. It is such an awful feeling....I am just so, so sad.....

Please pray for him and for me...

Spiritual Seeker

I know that it is hard to stop obsessing abt someone we love who is makin' a mess of their life. When our efforts to help fail all we can do is give them back to their own HP and figure out how to move on and have the fabulouse life we were meant to have. The healthier I got the healthier partners I was attracted too.
I no longer need a mate that "needs fixin'" which really is all about my own recovery from be attracted to that situation. But the universe works in incredible ways as now I have a son who "needs fixin'" So I am back to practicing + learning to turn his life over to him and staying detached. The lesson is still there for me to learn.

Barbara52

Something I have found helpful:

I picture my AH inside a globe form which nothing can leak out. All my concerns for him stay inside that globe. And that globe is held in God's hands since God is the only one who can help m AH.

FormerDoormat

It is an awful feeling and so very sad to watch someone you love throw their life away. But there really is nothing you can do to help him now. He's in God's hands. Sending prayers for you and your hubby.