Pilgrim

This is just impossible. I am going to have to find a way to get rid of him from work.

This is torture seeing him everyday. The fact that he doesn't care is just too much to take. I have asked him to find another job but he will never get around to it. He is too disorganised in his life and he has no respect for anything I say.

I wish I was over him enough to just go ahead and work with him but I can't.

So I have decided to tell the company that this hasn't worked out.

It's not the best thing I have ever done but I really have to do this. I hope I have the courage.

CBrown

I found it very difficult working with my XH. Plus, the OW was working with us too! What a horrible triangle. Eventually she found another job, and my XH got let go, too (a management thing). So that just left me. All along I thought I shouldn't be the one to leave because I had 15 years seniority and had gotten THEM their jobs. But it made for a very difficult working environment for everyone there. I was rebuilding my life in the 3-4 years we all worked together, and new hires would say "You were married to HIM???" I was changing for the better, and he was stagnant and spent.

Anyway, I wish you courage, as I have been in a similar situation to yours. Management might help you - they can either be sympathetic and helpful or turn a deaf ear to your plight. Good luck to you!

Barbara52

Good luck to you on however you end up handling this. It does sound like a complicated, and for your, an awful situation.

Pilgrim

Thanks so much Barbara and Claudia.

I wrote to my management offshore.

They will extend his probation period instead of hiring him permanently. They want me to look for a replacement. I didn't say it was because of his drinking - only his lack of organisation and because he doesn't complete work I ask him to do. I just told them I think we can do better (which is very true). Also, they know he is a super heavy drinker - you can tell just by looking. I have offered him help with the drinking but he doesn't want to stop.

The real truth is less pure. I really don't want him on my team. Yes he is pretty hopeless since he drinks every night alcoholically but I know deep down that if I was not so codependant, I should have done this a long time ago and not just when it was so clear he doesn't want me back.

Is this my pride hurting or am I finally getting some self respect, clarity and honesty about things? It felt right but now I don't know. I am also scared if he finds out and gets super angry with me. I have had to call the police before when he gets violent.

Am I finally learning to take care of myself or am I completely evil? I will ask for more guidance tonight in my prayers.