not good...
Keepingmyjoy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 328
Hope, everything you have built in yourself is not gone. The fact that you are a good person, caring, compassionate-those are good things. Your AH has come along and taken advantage of you (and you in turn enabled him) and now it is just about time to end that. Yes, there is a delay, but only because you choose it! You still have your power and you can still use it when you need to. So sorry for this poor woman...and I am so sorry for your pain. Hang in there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
she is gone 
i'm so sad that i am never going to be able to have a conversation with her again. i will really miss her.
so far, this really has seemed to change ah's perspective on things. he seems to have a really different attitude, how long this will last-i don't know. i have seen more tears from him than i have before- real emotion for an alcoholic is a big thing! he seems at a loss of how to react or what to do, but is figuring it out and dealing and talking about his emotions -big again.
the father called him and apologized for what happened at the hospital and was upset that we were not there at the hospital when she passed or at his house the next day. ah explained that he just did not know what he was supposed to do or how to react after that day. ah was asked to carry the casket at the church. so, calling hours are tomorrow night and the funeral is on saturday. i am not looking forward to these days.
i am happy that for the moment i have seemed to be able to do some things to find a balance for myself and still stay grounded through this. so, i am happy about that.
we will get through this week and see what happens. i am just taking it one day at a time as we are told to do
i am very happy to be getting away next weekend to Maryland with the family. i have not told ah about any of this yet. i don't know how he will react, but i am just going to put it that i need the time away to myself to clear my head and get perspective, just need the time away after this -period.
i don't know how he will do by himself so soon after this, but i realize that is not my responsibility or concern.
take care you- you guys are the best!
i'm so sad that i am never going to be able to have a conversation with her again. i will really miss her. so far, this really has seemed to change ah's perspective on things. he seems to have a really different attitude, how long this will last-i don't know. i have seen more tears from him than i have before- real emotion for an alcoholic is a big thing! he seems at a loss of how to react or what to do, but is figuring it out and dealing and talking about his emotions -big again.
the father called him and apologized for what happened at the hospital and was upset that we were not there at the hospital when she passed or at his house the next day. ah explained that he just did not know what he was supposed to do or how to react after that day. ah was asked to carry the casket at the church. so, calling hours are tomorrow night and the funeral is on saturday. i am not looking forward to these days.
i am happy that for the moment i have seemed to be able to do some things to find a balance for myself and still stay grounded through this. so, i am happy about that.
we will get through this week and see what happens. i am just taking it one day at a time as we are told to do
i am very happy to be getting away next weekend to Maryland with the family. i have not told ah about any of this yet. i don't know how he will react, but i am just going to put it that i need the time away to myself to clear my head and get perspective, just need the time away after this -period.
i don't know how he will do by himself so soon after this, but i realize that is not my responsibility or concern.
take care you- you guys are the best!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 792
hope, i'm so sorry to hear of your loss (and sorry to chime in so late!).
i know you have a strong head on your shoulders and will pull through these setbacks you've been having. i have a feeling you'll come out on the other side better than ever!
enjoy your trip to maryland and try to relax as much as you can. a little vacation never hurt anyone.
i know you have a strong head on your shoulders and will pull through these setbacks you've been having. i have a feeling you'll come out on the other side better than ever!
enjoy your trip to maryland and try to relax as much as you can. a little vacation never hurt anyone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 477
So sorry to read this update, hope. Take care of you and enjoy your break.
Interesting about the tears and out-pouring of emotion from your A. I found XABF reacted very strongly in similar situations and one of the reasons I felt more in touch with him is that he seemed to have more empathy for the suffering of others. All that was when he was drinking less, however.
ARL
Interesting about the tears and out-pouring of emotion from your A. I found XABF reacted very strongly in similar situations and one of the reasons I felt more in touch with him is that he seemed to have more empathy for the suffering of others. All that was when he was drinking less, however.
ARL
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