I think I'm going to ask for a separation
I can only change myself.
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Wisconeeeeeeeee
Posts: 61
Kudos to you for those healthy behaviors.
I suppose your next option is to continue to be even more open and honest with him and let him deal with that the best he can. I do think it is important to 'clue' him in to what you are thinking. He needs to know what your thinking is so as to give him the best opportunity to do something about it. (of course I'm making the mistake of assuming you haven't discussed your thoughts of separating). If he does nothing then I think he's helping you make your decision.
If you aren't telling him everything I suggest you try it. He's a big boy. Let him know you are thinking of leaving. That you are unhappy and just don't feel a connection with him and doubt that you ever will. Most of the guys I've ran into at MB that have withdrawn spouses have come to some serious revelations about themselves and have made some pretty drastic changes in an effort to draw their withdrawn partners out of withdrawal.
This is all assuming you'd be invested in him and the marriage again if he would just treat you the way he used to (maybe even better considering the crap you've had to tolerate over the years).
I suppose your next option is to continue to be even more open and honest with him and let him deal with that the best he can. I do think it is important to 'clue' him in to what you are thinking. He needs to know what your thinking is so as to give him the best opportunity to do something about it. (of course I'm making the mistake of assuming you haven't discussed your thoughts of separating). If he does nothing then I think he's helping you make your decision.
If you aren't telling him everything I suggest you try it. He's a big boy. Let him know you are thinking of leaving. That you are unhappy and just don't feel a connection with him and doubt that you ever will. Most of the guys I've ran into at MB that have withdrawn spouses have come to some serious revelations about themselves and have made some pretty drastic changes in an effort to draw their withdrawn partners out of withdrawal.
This is all assuming you'd be invested in him and the marriage again if he would just treat you the way he used to (maybe even better considering the crap you've had to tolerate over the years).
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 596
Originally Posted by queenteree 
To everyone who responded so far: thanks and I am going to look up AlAnon meetings in my area.
Last night was my first meeting and I sat in a room of 15 people and felt connected. I was the first to share and felt so much support. I wanted to hug everybody. After the meeting I got to talk to some other women and it was so wonderful. They have been there and done that. What support that was!! What a relief to know I'm no longer alone!! Felt absolutely fantastic. I really recommend it and I don't know that much about it. Just feels really good to share, especially with people who are familiar with the disease. I can't really talk about it with friends or relatives, because they just tell me to leave.
I hope you find the support you need.
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