Tenderheart

I saw my AS for the first time in 5 months yesterday. He looks absoltely terrible. Seems he can hardly walk -- talks of stabbing pains in his legs and feet - sometimes numbness. When I insinuated he stayed/sounded "drunk" constantly, he got off on this "bell curve" concept which some counselor relayed to him in a recent 3-day stay at a rehab facility. My AS sounds like he's drunk all the time -- has hard time thinking and putting sentences together. He claims that chronic alcoholics don't need to drink constantly -- that he actually only drinks about 3 hours a day and is actually drinking less than he did 2 or three years ago. Then why does he sound drunk constantly, can hardly walk, etcl, couldn't hold a job if he had to, etc. He gets into these conversations with me trying to justify is alcoholism, stating that if it wasn't for alcohol his depression would have driven him over the cliff years ago. He actually asked me what I see different in him than 5 years ago, that he's still the same person, blah-blah-blah. I can't believe what I'm hearing -- he has lost his car, will be evicted at the end of the month, has only $400.00 to his name and yet he is oblivious to his physical appearance or just how deep in doo-doo he is. Can anyone give me any insight on any of this?

cookconfay

"We deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, and powerful." If he's an alcoholic, that's what alcoholics do. I am one, sober almost 10 years. But. . . I was the same way, couldn't see I had a problem with the drugs and drinking. . .til I could see. No one could make me see til I could see. It sucks and it hurts and it's hard, but. . .there's nothing you can do about it, except pray and leave it in God's hands.

Prayers to you. . .

denny57

(((tender)))

Have you read any of the books suggested in the sticky? Knowledge of the disease helped me enormously. Key is how alcohol/ethanol affects the brain.

Astro

My experience only, there is only one cure for alcoholism. Complete, total abstinence. I can never safely take a drink again. Embracing the 12 Steps and a program of recovery continues to take care of the depression.

parentrecovers

it's a tough disease. i'm praying for your son. and you. blessings, k

GlassPrisoner

Then tingling and numbness in his legs are most like alcoholic nuerosis. Years of drinking damage nerve endings, and the symptoms usually start to appear in the feet and legs. I have a mild case in my feet.

As far as the drinking less, it sounds as if he's reached the "reverse tolerance" stage. That is where it takes less alcohol to get you drunk. Our bodies simply can no longer metabolize it. After years of increased tolerence, it's alcohols' last little hat trick.

Depression ? Alcoholism causes it......

Sorry to say, it really sounds as if he's in the end stage.

Spiritual Seeker

Having an addict child is the heart-wrenching. Knowing we are powerless is tough. Seeing them sick and unwilling is painful. I know how you feel. We want so much to see them after we haven't in a while. But even seeing them doesn't feel good. There is no way to ease what you are feeling today. But I do understand and send support and HOPE that one day your AS will get better.

leenymclaugh

It's been my experience, with my AH, that the farther along they get in their disease the LESS it takes them to have the affects of alcohol; i.e. my husband would have just a tiny bit and it would affect him as if he'd had a whole bottle, just as GlassPrisoner said.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Eileen