Dry Drunk
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
When I first started with AA I was under the ridiculous belief that everybody in the program was kind, caring and healthy...Pfffffffft. Like in any society, it takes all kinds. Like already echoed, just cuz you're sober and in recovery...does not mean you're healthy. Realizing there were still liars, cowards and frauds in AA was a real eyeopener for me. There are PLENTY of good souls truly trying to better themselves in the program but many are still struggling to face themselves; that's the truly hard part.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
BB begining of Chapter 5 "How it works"
Sure sounds to me like the key to sobriety is honesty!
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 12
Thanks
Thanks for all your replies, I didn't expect such a great response!! It has given me alot to think about. Some really good points here.
It does seem that lying has become a way of life for my friend - he was an Alcoholic for 8 years and lying to himself so I suppose that doesn't just change overnight. I made the mistake like many other friends of Alcholics of expecting everything to be fine once the drinking stops. Of course it isn't - it's a long road and a new life it won't just happen overnight.
It's reassuring to know others have had the same issues with lying once the drinking stops.
Thank you all
It does seem that lying has become a way of life for my friend - he was an Alcoholic for 8 years and lying to himself so I suppose that doesn't just change overnight. I made the mistake like many other friends of Alcholics of expecting everything to be fine once the drinking stops. Of course it isn't - it's a long road and a new life it won't just happen overnight.
It's reassuring to know others have had the same issues with lying once the drinking stops.
Thank you all
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: California
Posts: 239
Here's what I think. My AW lies about drinking when she's clearly intoxicated! Alcoholics don't lie they deny. They know that they are not doing the right thing but the guilt and shame drive them back. It's a vicious cycle. That being said, we can't be sucked into the emotion this clearly brings to us. For your sake.....be direct when they deny or lie and tell them them that you will not have a relationship with them as long as they continue being alcoholic. The alcoholism is the problem!
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