Rella927

Ok so I probably should not be doing this because of the fact my XAB can probably come in as a guest and read this but at this point I do not care!

I was told that they reached a plea with him with the 3 harrasment charges that were against him.

1. 7 days in jail (Does not have to serve it until OCTOBER!)
2. 77 Days of community service (SLAP program kind of like jail time i.e. cleaning up garbage etc...)

No outpatient program nothing!


I myself do not agree with it but know that I have to accept this-IMHO It allows them to think that what they did is ok?!

He is not my problem anymore and I know this-I just do not understand why the justice system is so screwy!

To me this is saying that it is ok-what you did and but next time it will be worse! Gee thanks hello!

Unreal I tell you!

dobiediva

I think the justice system is a JOKE when it comes to dealing with alcholism. I've found in my experience with my exBF that the courts just want more $$. They don't want them to get help. My exbf shoudl've gotten 1 year in prison for his 4th DUI (which is a felony). I was hoping he would because then he would be eligible for a really terrific treatment program that is offered to people who are convicted felons. Its a 6 month in patient THERAPY focused rehab program. They do a lot of one on one counselling and deal with the underlying issues instead of just teaching about alcoholism and addiction. They have a very high success rate because they deal with the person and all their issues individually. He was actually looking forward to it....until he found out he could plea down and do 90 days instead (45 days in jail, 45 days in the jail treatment center--which is a joke!) He had 3 weeks after his sentencing before he had to report to the jail to do whatever he wanted as long as he didn't drive or drink alcohol. So how did he spend that time? In the BAR!!! When his PO found out he ordered him to come in every morning at 8am for a breathalyzer. what the heck will that do?! He can drink til midnight and STILL pass the breathalyzer?! He had to pay every time he took the test--more money for the court system. they didn't care if he was at the bar or not. They don't care if he gets sober or not. The only organization that held their ground was the police dept that arrested him. They took his "baby"--his car. He went from being hopeful about the rehab center that he thought for sure would help him to being bitter, angry, and arrogant again. I'm sure in 90 days not much will change except he'll be angrier at me for putting him in there! The only thing that ever worked for him are RANDOM breathalyzer checks where the guy woudl come knock on the door at ANY time night or day and give him a breathalyzer. If he failed, off to jail. If he refused or wasn't here of to jail he went. That actually worked!

GlassPrisoner

And your point is ? IMO, the legal system is there to enforce the laws, not to rehabilitate. In fact, they may even perpetuate the behaivor to further increase jobs. Which, again IMO, has become their primary purpose, to employee people.

OP, 7 days in County is no walk in the park, and if he doesn't do his community service, they'll violate him and throw him back in the county jail.

Anyway, remember what my sponsor tells me when other people are "getting away with stuff".

Yup, it's none of my business. I worry about keeping my side of the street clean.

MsPINKAcres

It is so crazy! How many times do we hear about accidents with drivers who have no license, no insurance, multiple DUI's and still nothing happens?

That is what happened to my Sister-in-law about a month ago. She goes to the Dr next week - MRIs show 6 disc damaged in her back & neck. Yes, we are grateful she didn't die in the accident, but she is really suffering in pain and will suffer for a long, long time.

The Driver is out on bond. Probably doing the same thing still. Hopefully this time he won't have his children in the car.

Ok -so I've ranted enough too -
Sorry that you are having to go thru this Rella - especially with everything else you have had to deal with this week.
(((hugs)))

Rita

Rella927

Thank you for that Japic! I needed that (((Hug))) but I'm ok and will accept that it is what it is. I'm not happy about it as like in your sister-in laws case (((Hugs))) it is crazy how the justice system works sometimes on that aspect!

As for the other-I agree 100% with Glass-Although I thank you for your response DobeDiva-

Glass has made a valid point about it is not for the courts to rehabilitate them at all!
As for 7 days-Glass yes I'm sure it is no walk in the park as my A Brother has been in jail since January and does not get out until September-I write to him and talk to him on the phone and know and feel what he is going through only to a certain point without actually being there! It saddens me-it also saddens me that it came to this point with my XAB-I never said I did not love him-his choices are what I did not love-I never said that I want to see him suffer-I guess what I'am trying to say is that which maybe I should have made it more clear is Why are they waiting till October? Just as he has not had his license taken away yet eithier-(I know this not because I have seen him driving not long ago) As Rita put it multiple offenses yet they are still driving and having things such as Rita's situation happen!

It is the waiting I cannot see or agree with!

I can accept it and will remember this Glass as your sponsor is pretty darn smart and I will adapt this in my recovery Yup, it's none of my business.
"I worry about keeping my side of the street clean.Yup, it's none of my business."

thinkmink

When things like this happen I have to remind myself...God's will, not our own. Or let go and let God. We don't run the show so we have to have faith that it's working the way it should. Imagine if it were actually up to us, how frightening!

CE Girl

I gotta pipe in here,,,

I agree with being careful you make this none of your business,,,but as the resident native hippie chick, I gotta say a few words about "social conscious".

That's just WRONG.

The justice system was not put in place to make money. But I agree, it has come down to that. It's sad to think someone has to die for the courts to "pay attention!!!". And even then you are not guaranteed justice will be served.

Rella, I have a different "view" on your reaction. Outrage at injustice is not codie behaviour. Focusing on the individual and not taking care of YOU is. Its a precarious balance. And frankly Girl, I think your doing JUST FINE with it

And DD. I have to agree with you too. The penal system can not possibly house the masses of addicts that get in trouble because of their diseases. Rehabilitaton attempts are NECESSARY. And GOOD programs imperative. After all, we've seen it first hand on these boards, the "problem" gets out and become a bigger one in most cases.

Those are the ones we read about in the paper.

Just my simplistic hippie view

By the way EXTRA (((((((((((())))))))))) to you for the tuff week. You been an inspiration

Peace

Rella927

Thank you CE (((HUGS))))

Yes it is amazing to me that they went so easy on him! And dropped the harrasment charges! I'm not saying what they gave to him is a walk in the park-but I just totally do not agree not only for what I was put through but what others go through in similar situations!

I had a friend who her husband worked with this guy seemed nice blah blah and this girl that worked in the office got involved with this guy-he turned out to be a nut job! She phoned the police they did nothing-phoned again did nothing! She screamed out for help and some kind of justice for what this man was doing to her-(not going into depth of the story) and well she finally gained enough courage to leave and went during the day to get her stuff out-and he was there greeted her with a GUN! BAM! Then the justice system woke up!

I gues this story because it was so close to me through a friend has brought not exactly as CE said my reaction as a codie but my reaction as any normal person would! I want to see him get help yes....I still love him and probably always will he and I have given up his problems, his choices because they are not mine or my life anymore. I have my own life to be contend with.

It just sickens me that again the justice system allows things to slip through such as this when you are dealing with mental illness, alcoholism, addiction etc...we all know even the A's that they are not in the right frame of mind-and it makes me wonder is that why they let alot of them slide off so easy? Because they too know they are not in their right mind?!

Sorry I'm venting I'm just not happy about the JUSTICE system not only for my own issue-but mostly others!

Something maybe I need to work through-but again it is my reaction on the entire justice system for EVERYONE.Maybe because I have that poor girl in my head when I see things slip through .....

Just my opinion

dobiediva

And that's exactly what I had on my mind when my xabf was sentenced. The day before he got his 4th DUI a mom KILLED HER 2 YEAR OLD SON because she was driving drunk--her 3rd DUI. It happened right up the street from where I live. I drive by almost every day. And yet my A only got 90 days and a 2 year suspension. Had she not killed her son that's what HER sentence would've been. She is facing 8 years not to mention the guilt she must be feeling! Why does the law have to wait until its too late to intervene? We need to find a better way so these people can get help before its too late!