A Tragic Ending
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 792
jill, this was nothing you could have prevented.
richard knew that you loved him, just as you know he loved you back. his body is free now, and i'm sure you will get your sign from him one of these days.
i thank you for sharing your pain with us. this addiction is so heartbreaking and devastating, but through your posts, we are able to see what love is all about. maybe you've even saved the life of someone reading.
may angels lead him in.
richard knew that you loved him, just as you know he loved you back. his body is free now, and i'm sure you will get your sign from him one of these days.
i thank you for sharing your pain with us. this addiction is so heartbreaking and devastating, but through your posts, we are able to see what love is all about. maybe you've even saved the life of someone reading.
may angels lead him in.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: By the sea
Posts: 415
I am so sorry for your pain FD.
It is not your fault. None of it is your fault. You did everything you possibly could have. You were a true friend to Richard. Of that there is no doubt.
The "what ifs" are natural, and to be expected. Wishing is only human. Just make sure to eventually return to that true place where you know that what happened to Richard was out of your hands.
Thank you FD for all the wisdom you have shared with me over these past months.
Hugs,
neg
It is not your fault. None of it is your fault. You did everything you possibly could have. You were a true friend to Richard. Of that there is no doubt.
The "what ifs" are natural, and to be expected. Wishing is only human. Just make sure to eventually return to that true place where you know that what happened to Richard was out of your hands.
Thank you FD for all the wisdom you have shared with me over these past months.
Hugs,
neg
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
you have received the call that everyone of us here expects to receive one day. i think i am so over my relationship with the alcoholic in my life , but i would imagine that when i receive this call, my world will stand still for a while and just let me hurt and feel.
i truly do hate this addiction.
i truly do hate this addiction.
I Finally Love My Life!!!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 648
(((fd)))
I am so sorry his story had to end this way. It's not your fault in the least. I'm glad your story is continuing on, healthy and always recovering.
Many, many hugs to you
I am so sorry his story had to end this way. It's not your fault in the least. I'm glad your story is continuing on, healthy and always recovering.
Many, many hugs to you
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Posts: 261
I'm so speachless and feel such pain for you and your family. We all know you had no control, getting back to the three "C"'s but that doesnt take away the loss.
This is exactly what I am expecting in my future. What choices we need to make to take care of ourselves, cannot affect choices our alcholics take upon themselves.
God bless you,
Karen xo
This is exactly what I am expecting in my future. What choices we need to make to take care of ourselves, cannot affect choices our alcholics take upon themselves.
God bless you,
Karen xo
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Oh ((((((Jill))))))))
Gosh I am so sorry that this happened. Of course you are living out many us here worst nightmare.
I believe your HP had your back in this. I believe it was Richards time and that we all go when it is time and not one minute sooner or later.
The codie in us wants to believe we are in control that we can change the out come but, darlin it just ain't so. Be gentle with yourself cause it is not your fault
Gosh I am so sorry that this happened. Of course you are living out many us here worst nightmare.
I believe your HP had your back in this. I believe it was Richards time and that we all go when it is time and not one minute sooner or later.
The codie in us wants to believe we are in control that we can change the out come but, darlin it just ain't so. Be gentle with yourself cause it is not your fault
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
((((((FD))))))
Hon take solace in the fact that you did everything you could have done for Richard, in saving yourself and your daughter you gave him the best chance he had of saving him self.
What saved me? What you did for yourself and your child is what saved me, it is heart breaking to all parties who this disease impacts that some of us are unable to recover while others do, there sadly is no firm answer.
Hugs is the best I can do, we at AA do on occasion have moments of silence for the Richards out there, you will all be in my prayers.
Hon take solace in the fact that you did everything you could have done for Richard, in saving yourself and your daughter you gave him the best chance he had of saving him self.
What saved me? What you did for yourself and your child is what saved me, it is heart breaking to all parties who this disease impacts that some of us are unable to recover while others do, there sadly is no firm answer.
Hugs is the best I can do, we at AA do on occasion have moments of silence for the Richards out there, you will all be in my prayers.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
FD,
I can understand your pain and sorrow, but you set your boundaries and made a choice to live a life separate from his disease.
This is not your fault... and I am confident that he knew how much you loved him. This was, as you say, a tragic ending.
Hugs and love
Cats
I can understand your pain and sorrow, but you set your boundaries and made a choice to live a life separate from his disease.
This is not your fault... and I am confident that he knew how much you loved him. This was, as you say, a tragic ending.
Hugs and love
Cats
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 30
I think I am beginning to see the light...
Hi FD,
I am rather new here, so I do not know you like many of the others who have posted here, but I am weeping as I read this, because I understand completely. I love my XAH also, and I know he knows it. I am sure I will receive a call like this some day too. You are on the other side from me. I am only out for 3 months! But I know, I know it is his choice! He is choosing this! Richard chose this life! You and I had to do what is right for our selves and our girls. We wanted them to get better. If we could want it bad enough for them to stop, they would have by now. Even if you had answered the call, and it had postponed this, for how long? You have done the right thing. You didn't answer because you wanted to avoid the drama that users cause. In every circumstance, you tried to do the right thing. You couldn't have controlled him, just as you couldn't when you were together. I pray that his soul is at rest, and that you also will find peace in the knowledge that you have done well by your daughter, and that you have truly loved in a very unselfish way! (As you have to when you don't get back what you put in!) My prayers are with you!
I am rather new here, so I do not know you like many of the others who have posted here, but I am weeping as I read this, because I understand completely. I love my XAH also, and I know he knows it. I am sure I will receive a call like this some day too. You are on the other side from me. I am only out for 3 months! But I know, I know it is his choice! He is choosing this! Richard chose this life! You and I had to do what is right for our selves and our girls. We wanted them to get better. If we could want it bad enough for them to stop, they would have by now. Even if you had answered the call, and it had postponed this, for how long? You have done the right thing. You didn't answer because you wanted to avoid the drama that users cause. In every circumstance, you tried to do the right thing. You couldn't have controlled him, just as you couldn't when you were together. I pray that his soul is at rest, and that you also will find peace in the knowledge that you have done well by your daughter, and that you have truly loved in a very unselfish way! (As you have to when you don't get back what you put in!) My prayers are with you!
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