He had an accident
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
He had an accident
Wow, I got a call from STB -- or just plain X -- AH today. He said he'd been in a car accident and that he just wanted to call and let me know. I decided to call him back. He said it happened Tuesday night, and that he fell asleep while driving and hit a tree. His nice Expedition is totaled. He walked to his friend's house that was close and then called his mom. The "WERE YOU DRINKING???!!!" question was on the very tip of my tongue, but I held it back. No sense doing that. He would have probably said, "no, I just had a couple," or something like that. I'm sure he was, and whether I say something or not, he has to know it too. My saying it won't paint the picture any clearer. At the point I'm at now, I have zero romantic feelings for him whatsoever, so I'd never EVER consider going back there. But I did think about him and wonder if this will be what it takes. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. I'm just glad I'm dealing with this 60 miles and a whole new life away.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
Your recovery is shining through TexasGirl. It's such a pleasure to read how you handled yourself and the thoughts behind your actions, and, lack of actions too. I'm so happy for you I could just give you a hug...oh heck...here (((TexasGirl))) you deserve it!
When I think of success stories, and of people here that have made tremendous progress in their situations/lives, you are amongst the first that comes to my mind.
When I think of success stories, and of people here that have made tremendous progress in their situations/lives, you are amongst the first that comes to my mind.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 351
Glad you were able to handle the situation so well ... and that he is an "EX" so hopefully you will not feel the financial fall out of this type of accident. As you know, the potential long term expense of a DUI or just wrecking a nice vehicle is very, very, very expensive with insurance...etc. Hopefully, with any luck, this will be his wake up call.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
texasgirl.....interesting how they still reach out. i'm glad he is ok....
i'm so grateful for you that the contact didn't put your head in a spin. great going!!!!
did you ever, ever think this day would come that the pain would ease?
big hugs to you!!!
i'm so grateful for you that the contact didn't put your head in a spin. great going!!!!
did you ever, ever think this day would come that the pain would ease?
big hugs to you!!!
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Only an addict would consider the totaling of his car an asset. I can picture him staggering away from his mangled car saying to himself, "wow, I've just totalled my car. Think I'll call TexasGirl in hopes that it will invoke sympathy and a need to rescue me." What other motive besides manipulation could have been behind that phone call?
Glad that you didn't fall for it. And I'm also glad that he wasn't hurt, nor did he hurt anyone else in the process. I think you handled the situation with grace and dignity, in true TexasGirl fashion.
Glad that you didn't fall for it. And I'm also glad that he wasn't hurt, nor did he hurt anyone else in the process. I think you handled the situation with grace and dignity, in true TexasGirl fashion.
Always hopeful...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 429
Glad he is okay. If not, it would have added to the complexity! I am so glad to hear you are healing and no romantic feelings. Isn't it a relief to be where we are in this journey! I had talked to mine last week w/ an update on my daughter. Course, he had to call me back after being out! 
I felt so good and strong and content and peaceful. Hope you are too. Glad Monday it will be over for you, legally. Hope it goes well. You did good w/ your conversation. Don't ya just catch yourself with the same questions/curiousity. And, ahhhh, how good it feels to let it go.
I felt so good and strong and content and peaceful. Hope you are too. Glad Monday it will be over for you, legally. Hope it goes well. You did good w/ your conversation. Don't ya just catch yourself with the same questions/curiousity. And, ahhhh, how good it feels to let it go.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Anywhere,USA
Posts: 511
I remember when I got the information that my ex had wrecked his Harley Davidson from the kids.
He didn't call me...
He had been drinking. He laid it down in the middle of some highway and then picked it up and hid it I think so that he wouldn't get another DUI.
He and the new wife are moving back from Florida.
They sold all their stuff in an auction, and went to live in an RV and make a "fortune" fixing up peoples trailers...(a skill he learned here in this town in the middle of the country)...
They left a little before Thanksgiving last year and have already burned through their cash...
called here last Sunday to tell the son that they had broken down in Tennessee, about half way home...
Karma, perhaps...
He had said that he wouldn't be able to afford to return for either of the kids graduation's this year...he didn't buy either of them a xmas gift, he hasn't paid a dime of child support since he left here over 4 years ago...didn't bother to call my son on his 18th Bday...
He left me when I got clean & sober...and couldn't stand to have him still using in our house so actually I made him leave.
Be happy that you didn't decide to stay with this man and have children with him honey...
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids...and I always wanted them to have 2 parents.
But I can't help but still be a bit angry about the way he chose the alcohol and the dope over his wife and his kids.
I know, it does me no good...
I've let it go...
and taken it back time after time.
Perhaps I need counseling...
He didn't call me...
He had been drinking. He laid it down in the middle of some highway and then picked it up and hid it I think so that he wouldn't get another DUI.
He and the new wife are moving back from Florida.
They sold all their stuff in an auction, and went to live in an RV and make a "fortune" fixing up peoples trailers...(a skill he learned here in this town in the middle of the country)...
They left a little before Thanksgiving last year and have already burned through their cash...
called here last Sunday to tell the son that they had broken down in Tennessee, about half way home...
Karma, perhaps...
He had said that he wouldn't be able to afford to return for either of the kids graduation's this year...he didn't buy either of them a xmas gift, he hasn't paid a dime of child support since he left here over 4 years ago...didn't bother to call my son on his 18th Bday...
He left me when I got clean & sober...and couldn't stand to have him still using in our house so actually I made him leave.
Be happy that you didn't decide to stay with this man and have children with him honey...
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids...and I always wanted them to have 2 parents.
But I can't help but still be a bit angry about the way he chose the alcohol and the dope over his wife and his kids.
I know, it does me no good...
I've let it go...
and taken it back time after time.
Perhaps I need counseling...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
I love you guys.
I'm so glad that I've known you all through this journey.
As a side note....I've started "putting words on my screen" in a thought that maybe it will eventually turn into a book. I love to write, and my thoughts are totally unorganized, but I just sit down and let my fingers pour out what they've got. I hope that one day, I will be able to share this journey with others who don't know that they are in the mess they are in.
Love to you all.
I'm so glad that I've known you all through this journey.
As a side note....I've started "putting words on my screen" in a thought that maybe it will eventually turn into a book. I love to write, and my thoughts are totally unorganized, but I just sit down and let my fingers pour out what they've got. I hope that one day, I will be able to share this journey with others who don't know that they are in the mess they are in.
Love to you all.
May it be
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: A new day. Today I just see bright colors, in the small world of my dreams.
Posts: 384
it is so relieving to be a way from all of that... I still shudder sometimes, if I let myself, ... what my life would be like, if he was still here. It really changed my life, made me see life in a whole different way, and get thankful & appreicative, when some good things come my ways, somedays.
As for xabf, he called a few weeks ago, still after 2 yrs, geesh, enuf now. I generally don't answer, but he lets a msg on phone. I did call back the friend that he is staying with now (he's still waiting for his govt paid apt). To tell her, no I don't have any of his stuff, his guitar, clothes, this place is too small. He must have left it at the store or someone else's place (almost said, he must have been serenading someone else) but what use would that be. It was a feeble attempt for sympathy and a way back in... But as Sara Evans sings "I'll be glad to take you back, just as soon as I stop breathing."
Well take care and be glad it won't effect your insurance, that you won't be having to drive him around, etc
As for xabf, he called a few weeks ago, still after 2 yrs, geesh, enuf now. I generally don't answer, but he lets a msg on phone. I did call back the friend that he is staying with now (he's still waiting for his govt paid apt). To tell her, no I don't have any of his stuff, his guitar, clothes, this place is too small. He must have left it at the store or someone else's place (almost said, he must have been serenading someone else) but what use would that be. It was a feeble attempt for sympathy and a way back in... But as Sara Evans sings "I'll be glad to take you back, just as soon as I stop breathing."
Well take care and be glad it won't effect your insurance, that you won't be having to drive him around, etc
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