Equal time for codie jokes/translations
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
Equal time for codie jokes/translations
Inspired by Pilgrim's great thread!
OK, I'll start...
I found this from Abtchonamission...hope it's ok to borrow....I definitely see myself in a few of them, LOL!!
OK, I'll start...
I found this from Abtchonamission...hope it's ok to borrow....I definitely see myself in a few of them, LOL!!
Originally Posted by abtchonamission 
A Few Codependent Jokes
What do you call a codependent who says 'no' and doesn't feel guilty? HEALTHY.
You're codependent for sure if, when you die, someone else's life flashes in front of your eyes.
You're codependent for sure when you get kicked off jury duty for insisting that you're the guilty one.
Why did the codependent cross the road? To help the chicken make a decision.
Did you hear about the codependent who flunked geography? He couldn't distinguish any boundaries.
You know you're codependent if you find yourself in a rut -- and move in furniture.
You're codependent for sure when you wake up in the morning and say to your mate: "Good morning, how am I?
Why does a codependent buy two copies of every self-help book? One to read and one to pass on to someone who really needs it.
What does a codependent have in common with God? They both have a plan for your life.
What do you call a codependent who says 'no' and doesn't feel guilty? HEALTHY.
You're codependent for sure if, when you die, someone else's life flashes in front of your eyes.
You're codependent for sure when you get kicked off jury duty for insisting that you're the guilty one.
Why did the codependent cross the road? To help the chicken make a decision.
Did you hear about the codependent who flunked geography? He couldn't distinguish any boundaries.
You know you're codependent if you find yourself in a rut -- and move in furniture.
You're codependent for sure when you wake up in the morning and say to your mate: "Good morning, how am I?
Why does a codependent buy two copies of every self-help book? One to read and one to pass on to someone who really needs it.
What does a codependent have in common with God? They both have a plan for your life.
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
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You're co-di, if you jump in front of a car being driven by an drunk alki.
Then you actually rolled off of the hood and you still run after the car.
You're a codi when the alki actually calls the cops on ya.
A sign of a codi is when you actaully kill a plant by over watering it.
You talk to the plant too...do you love me ? do you love me ?
Last edited by SaTiT; 04-05-2007 at 08:53 AM.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
very funny....and although I am happy to laugh at myself...I can't think of a darn thing to add to this thread!! I'm stumped!
okay... I thought up a few.
You know you are a codie when you say
"Let me do that for you" because
1. You 'know' that you can do it better than they can.
2.It's easier to just do it yourself rather than show someone how.
3. You don't want to be an imposition on others.
4.You 'know' that they really don't want to do it themselves.
5."You" have always done it- why change the order of things?
okay... I thought up a few.
You know you are a codie when you say
"Let me do that for you" because
1. You 'know' that you can do it better than they can.
2.It's easier to just do it yourself rather than show someone how.
3. You don't want to be an imposition on others.
4.You 'know' that they really don't want to do it themselves.
5."You" have always done it- why change the order of things?
Becoming a Butterfly
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
Codie translations:
"I don't mind" -------------- "I'll let you get away with anything if you just love me."
"It's ok" ------------------- "I'll let you do anything if you just love me."
"I'll take care of it." ------- "You don't have to be responsible for anything if you just love me."
"What do you need/want?" ----- "I'll forget I have any needs or wants if you just love me."
"I love you." ---------- "I have an overwheliming feeling of desperation and an obsessive need to keep you with me due to my unresolved emotional issues. I mistake these feelings for love. Would you like to treat me like dirt now?"
"I don't mind" -------------- "I'll let you get away with anything if you just love me."
"It's ok" ------------------- "I'll let you do anything if you just love me."
"I'll take care of it." ------- "You don't have to be responsible for anything if you just love me."
"What do you need/want?" ----- "I'll forget I have any needs or wants if you just love me."
"I love you." ---------- "I have an overwheliming feeling of desperation and an obsessive need to keep you with me due to my unresolved emotional issues. I mistake these feelings for love. Would you like to treat me like dirt now?"
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
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Good gosh...I went to AA and and truly discovered I was an alcoholic
I came here and truly discovered I am also a codependent. Wow...it's spooky how much I relate to these tongue in cheek posts..
find yourself in a rut and move in furniture..LOL LOL LOL. When you're also a drunk you keep leaving furniture in all those ruts across the country in search of the geographical cure.
I came here and truly discovered I am also a codependent. Wow...it's spooky how much I relate to these tongue in cheek posts..
find yourself in a rut and move in furniture..LOL LOL LOL. When you're also a drunk you keep leaving furniture in all those ruts across the country in search of the geographical cure.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
you suspect you're a codi when you plan all day what you are going to do to your drunk, passed out alcoholic husband.
you know you are a codi when you take a magic marker and trace every line on his face, draw fake glasses and moustache on him, along with a goatee, and color in the end of his nose......while he is passed out.
you get help for codi-isms when you do the above, and then yell "fire! hurry up, get out!" and laugh your arse off when he's standing in the parking lot with everyone looking at him funny.
yup....done that. i'm sorry. i would never do that now. really.
you know you are a codi when you take a magic marker and trace every line on his face, draw fake glasses and moustache on him, along with a goatee, and color in the end of his nose......while he is passed out.
you get help for codi-isms when you do the above, and then yell "fire! hurry up, get out!" and laugh your arse off when he's standing in the parking lot with everyone looking at him funny.
yup....done that. i'm sorry. i would never do that now. really.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Talked with week with a newcomer in my f2f meetings. She had decided she was going to call the local sheriff's dept about her AS. She said "OK, today, I'm going to look the phone # up in the phone book" - I said "Don't bother, I still know the # by heart 437-####"
We both busted out laughing!!!!
You know you qualify for Al-Anon/Naranon if know the local law enforcement phone # by heart (even if your AH has been sober for over 4 yrs!!!!) lol
Geez - I'm one sick puppy!!!!
See ya,
Rita
We both busted out laughing!!!!
You know you qualify for Al-Anon/Naranon if know the local law enforcement phone # by heart (even if your AH has been sober for over 4 yrs!!!!) lol
Geez - I'm one sick puppy!!!!
See ya,
Rita
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
During a rant about my AH, I told a friend, "I'M TOO CODIE TO KILL MYSELF!!" If I had done so, I would have relinquished my right to wallow in the pain and drama of it all! LOL!!!!!!
I know I'm a codie when someone smashes their finger with a hammer and I scream, "Ouch!"
I know I'm a codie when someone asks me about my plans for the rest of my life, I scratch my head, say "I dunno," and look at that person to answer the question for me.
I know I'm a codie when I "advise" someone else as to the "correct" way to vacuum their carpet, get their laundry cleaner, make their cake rise better, etc.
P.S. - Yes, I have actually done all of the above!!
I know I'm a codie when someone smashes their finger with a hammer and I scream, "Ouch!"
I know I'm a codie when someone asks me about my plans for the rest of my life, I scratch my head, say "I dunno," and look at that person to answer the question for me.
I know I'm a codie when I "advise" someone else as to the "correct" way to vacuum their carpet, get their laundry cleaner, make their cake rise better, etc.
P.S. - Yes, I have actually done all of the above!!
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Someone asks me how I feel about something and I respond with "it doesnt matter-whatever is best for you" and then Im mad bc they didnt do what Iwould have wanted!
Someone (AN ADULT) I know is confiding in me about an obstacle in their life and the next thing you know I have my own plan, a book about a plan, and then take the next day off work to revise the plan (The books not as good as my plan.
An alcoholic asks me if I mind if they just have a beer with the game.I Say "whatever" and then storm out when they do have the beer, bc they could read my mind and KNOW that when I say YES, DAMNIT I MEAN NO!
Someone (AN ADULT) I know is confiding in me about an obstacle in their life and the next thing you know I have my own plan, a book about a plan, and then take the next day off work to revise the plan (The books not as good as my plan.
An alcoholic asks me if I mind if they just have a beer with the game.I Say "whatever" and then storm out when they do have the beer, bc they could read my mind and KNOW that when I say YES, DAMNIT I MEAN NO!
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
My underwear has holes in it. Buttons are missing from my clothes. Shoe laces are tied in knots so they are long enough to work = I better go clothes shopping for.... (other person)
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
My underwear has holes in it. Buttons are missing from my clothes. Shoe laces are tied in knots so they are long enough to work = I better go clothes shopping for.... (other person)
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Hmmpphh.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
You know you're a codie when your address book has every detox, rehab and NA meeting list for every city in the province....and you're the one other people call when they need this information. 
You know you're a codie when you buy him new stuff for his new apartment and keep your old crappy stuff for yourself.
You know you're a code when every detox administrator in a city of 3 million people knows you on a first name basis.
Whoa boy am I glad those days are over.
Hugs
You know you're a codie when you buy him new stuff for his new apartment and keep your old crappy stuff for yourself.
You know you're a code when every detox administrator in a city of 3 million people knows you on a first name basis.
Whoa boy am I glad those days are over.
Hugs
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