embraced2000

my codie translations:

"oh, go ahead and take the last piece of chicken, honey"

translation....man, i hate your guts you glutten.

"yes, sweety, i'd be glad to call your probation officer and do the 'splainin"

translation.....i'd love to spill my guts and tell him the truth about what you do

"sure, i'll change my plans and sit home with you (while you get drunk and rage against me)

translation....lordy, if i laid down in front of an oncoming train, would anyone even notice?????

Nuudawn

OMG..this is a great thread. I needed a good laugh today!

FormerDoormat

"I love you, too, honey."

Translation: "********."

Sunflower

OMG you guys are sooooo funny---wait I have to add codie to my list as well!!!?????

StandingStrong

************************************************** ********
Counselor: Why do you treat her this way?
XAH: Because she let's me.
Me: WHAT!!!!! I can't control you. You'll do whatever you want so what do you mean by I let you?
XAH: Well, you still live with me, you still sleep in the same bed, etc.

Me: Stays for 10 more years!!!!!
************************************************** ********

"Why do you do this to me?" = Why do I allow you to do this to me? Why do I love you? Why don't you love me back?

************************************************** ********

"I'm not going to live like this forever!!!" = I hope he believes me and changes!
************************************************** ********

"We need money? Oh no, I will get a job. I'll work 3rd shift so we don't have to pay a sitter and I'll give up my life basically and sacrifice it all so we don't go in debt further!" ==== Oh no, the poor man's running himself ragged working all the time and now I feel so guilty for not contributing financially to the household!!! (Notice that I totally missed how much he was spending on alcohol, his new tools, his new golf equipment, etc etc etc)
************************************************** ********

concolor1

Good stuff, here are some more zingers . . .

Q: What's the definition of an Al-Anon slip?

A: A fleeting moment of compassion . . .

Q: How many Al-Anons does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. They just detach and let it screw itself in . . .

Q: What church do Al-Anons attend?

A: Our Lady of Perpetual Revenge . . .

All in good fun, I hope . . .

ICU

alcohol_sucks

You'll never get a job making enough to even pay for day-care=No one can support you better than can, especially yourself.

Your job is just a hobby=your job will never be as important as mine.

The man couldn't accept, and still can't, that I can enjoy things that don't include him. Yet it was expected that he could live his life in any way he wanted to. The stronger I became, the nastier he became. Knocks you down everytime...

concolor1

Q: Why do codependents close their eyes while making love?

A: They can't stand to see an alcoholic have a good time . . .

embraced2000

ohhhhhhhhhh.....that's so bad, concolor!!!!! so bad. now, go to the corner until you can apologize.

concolor1

You're either a codependent or a boxing referee . . . (dang, I need to learn how to work those smiley thingies)

Okay, sorry . . . Hope everyone is handling the holiday weekend (very critical times in my experience) . . .

Reminds me of the guy telling a story about his AG and how she was having a piano loaded into her third floor apartment via a forklift and crane . . .

So somehow there was an accident involving gunshots, and the piano wound up getting smashed on the sidewalk . . .

Guy swore that within three hours he had the whole mess cleaned up and the firearm registered . . .

embraced2000

lol......hope your evening goes well.....you can come outta the corner now....see, i just have to direct one more time.

always.....just one more time. i'm working on it, tho.