StandingStrong

This has been a topic that has been recently (and quite thoroughly) visited in my group of friends. So, on that note, I wanted to bring the topic here for your thoughts.

For me - jealousy is basically a reflection of my own insecurities.

But I'm wondering also, is jealousy a codependant thing or is it a normal thing for anyone? Or just those with low self esteem, insecurities, etc?

I've also found it interesting how people can have different outlooks and views on a situation - which just keeps showing me how complex and different we all are as individuals.

And then...the big question....how do you overcome jealousy?

SaTiT

Not sure if it's the noraml thing , but it's un healthy regruadless.

Learned for Pain...a very, very painful lesson....at least it was for me.
My ex-wife was like the perfect model, The image of every man's dream
and she got hit on by other men a lot.

If we start loving oueselves...at least I did, that helps.
Work on self esteem issues...that helps
Not addicted to dramma anymore ...that helps
A relationship with a HP...that really, really helps

mushroom

I think it's a clingy codependent thing. Any little threat to your monopoly on someone else's attention sets it off. Curing jealousy is learning that you don't need anyone else, that you can take care of YOU and be fine. If you know your world will not end if someone else steals away your special someone, then you don't get jealous anymore.

cmc

This is a good thread and I'm interested to see how everyone feels about it.

Here's my view:

Jealousy goes two ways... I have different ways of coping for each:
gratitude and faith.

Wanting what someone else has

Gratitude:
Being grateful for what I have helps keep me grounded and not wish I had something that isn't mine....or from being envious---envy is a cousin to jealousy.

Fear of losing what I do have
Faith:
Being confident that God will take care of me and both protect and provide my needs helps me to not fear losing what blessings I do have.

An afterthought is that the areas where this pops up are different for us all, but I wonder if these areas where we struggle (finances, relationships, whatever) are things we feel are out of our control? If I feel in control about something...or am in control, why would I be jealous in the first place? I'm just thinking as I type...and wonder if that makes any sense to anybody.

Or maybe it's something we -could- have control over but don't want to do the work necessary to get it.

Sunflower

jealousy can be anger projected in the wrong direction....

lillamy

Is there anyone else who absolutely can't relate to jealousy at all? I'm secretly wishing AH would have an affair, because then I could leave him without feeling guilty... *hiding behind sofa*