Do we always have to be the bigger person?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Happily ever after...
Posts: 163
I went on a rampage. Sorry, if I upset anyone. Just a mother bear protecting her cubs. Just hard when you love them so much and they are hurting. I feel so sad for them sometimes. Thanks and sorry again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Union Mo
Posts: 655
Free2be,
First and formost I want to offer you kuddos for the strength you have.
I want to share with you my own private and personal expierience. When I was growing up I was such a daddy's girl. He was SOOOO abusive mentally to me and physically, mentally, and verbally to my mother. But she stood by him. Every punch, slap, shove. His abuse to her slowly had turned to me. Dont please dont take me saying that I dont love my dad still today. I do. But my dad broke my mother spirit. He continued to break her spirit even after he left. I saw her as weak. I lost respect for her. But now after 15 years of divorce she is finally stopping to defend him. When I was sick this last August and was in ICU because my kidneys and liver shut down, he couldnt come because he lives in Texas and was in trouble for getting high once more. He stood to lose his job and place to live because of it. His getting high was more important than me in the hospital. Time before that I was also in the hospital for major surgury and was bleeding out. He is my only blood match and my grandmother. I have a rare blood type. He was out getting high. He was not there. My mother defended him then. There is only so much you can do to defend him. Its not your place. Let him dig his own hell with them. The only thing I can say at this point is to love them when he falls short. Be there for them when he isnt. Hopefully they will growup and see the problem for what it was and not themselves. And maybe find forgivness of his disease.
First and formost I want to offer you kuddos for the strength you have.
I want to share with you my own private and personal expierience. When I was growing up I was such a daddy's girl. He was SOOOO abusive mentally to me and physically, mentally, and verbally to my mother. But she stood by him. Every punch, slap, shove. His abuse to her slowly had turned to me. Dont please dont take me saying that I dont love my dad still today. I do. But my dad broke my mother spirit. He continued to break her spirit even after he left. I saw her as weak. I lost respect for her. But now after 15 years of divorce she is finally stopping to defend him. When I was sick this last August and was in ICU because my kidneys and liver shut down, he couldnt come because he lives in Texas and was in trouble for getting high once more. He stood to lose his job and place to live because of it. His getting high was more important than me in the hospital. Time before that I was also in the hospital for major surgury and was bleeding out. He is my only blood match and my grandmother. I have a rare blood type. He was out getting high. He was not there. My mother defended him then. There is only so much you can do to defend him. Its not your place. Let him dig his own hell with them. The only thing I can say at this point is to love them when he falls short. Be there for them when he isnt. Hopefully they will growup and see the problem for what it was and not themselves. And maybe find forgivness of his disease.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,351
You have nothing to apologise for---you are the hero in this--the one person they can depend on no matter what---take care of those kids and YOU---so you don't get sick over all this.
Your EX is a big boy--he is the one who wil l lose in the long run
Your EX is a big boy--he is the one who wil l lose in the long run
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