WhatAboutME

It's time for me to face the facts. Based on events in the past couple of days alone, I don't see how my marriage could ever be saved, even if he does get sober. I don't have much money - He took care blowing what litter there was before losing his job and sticking me with all of the bills, etc. What are the steps to begin the divorce process without a lawyer?

*We are both in the state of FL. I do know his whereabouts and don't anticipate being unable to find him any time soon.
*We don't have children.
*We don't have assets to divide.
*I am willing to take care of the bills with the exception of his car payment/insurance and his personal credit cards, so no big fight there.
*The divorce will be uncontested.

I found this site: http://www.floridadivorce123.com/. It looks as though they prepare the paperwork to be filed with the court. Does this look legit or too good to be true? And heck, the service is discounted this month to only $199!

Or, is this paperwork something that I can file on my own? I just can't possibly afford a lawyer and don't see the need based on our pathetic state of existance in terms of assets, etc. Any advice on the easiest end to my miserable means?

THANKS!

denny57

WhatAboutMe:

Good luck with everything. I know here in Los Angeles, the Family Law Court has a self help desk. Maybe you should check there, first, in your County. It looks like it is something you could do yourself.

((()))

free2be

Not really sure about the state of FL. In NY friends sought out a mediator and it cost them about $500.00. They did agree on everything prior.
Lots of times attorneys will offer a fee consultation. Maybe, it might be worth it to speak to one. Just a thought. Take care.

Janitw

I live in OHIO and a friend of mine did it herself by posing the notices in the paper because she did not his where abouts either...she had all the help she needed from the girls at the courhouse !!! They stepped her completely through the whole process which went very very quickly..

Good Luck Sweetie..stay the course.

Janit

MsGolightly

WAM, i have no advice to give, but i'm so sorry you're going through this... i can only imagine how painful it must be.

best

You can print and file papers yourself in any state.
Uncontested D's that only require paperwork be turned in... yes $200-500 can be a going rate. The courts may have a filing fee as well as what you pay the law school drop out who handles such low cost D's.
You get what you pay for.
Any point that is contested "at all"... a cheap D can end up costing big bucks over time.
When I filed...she was as loving and giving as she had been through our whole marriage...Nothing contested.
Thing with me though... Once I started having my eyes opened and finding recovery... we stopped the divorce with 10 days left before it was to become final (90 day wait period in my state) best $500 I ever spent. Helped me realize the truth and started getting me to open my eyes.

As far as not being able to locate him... he has a car...registered and insurance yes? Car in his name and his posession? He can be found.

HolyQow

I read it that she IS able to find him?

best

Thank you HolyQow
End of the day and my eyes are playing tricks.

Read the post again and i see you are right. thank you

Sunflower

Hope it works out--where theres a will theres a way,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

WhatAboutME

Thank you for the replies. Yes, I am able to find him. I think that if you don't know the whereabouts of the spouse, it costs more for them to be tracked down and served.

Some advice...My AH is now unemployed, still drinking excessively and seemingly making nice with some other woman. He has a rather large AmEx bill that is due by the end of this month. The amount due is $2000. If I paid that bill out of our savings, it would put me in great jeopardy of not being able to pay my own necessities. As I've said, I barely make enough to cover my monthly expenses. I've mentioned this to him several times since he was released from rehab on Friday and he just keeps saying "I'll get a job. I'm not worried about it." He actually has pretty good credit (at this point anyway). If he's not worried about the bill, should I be?!? Should I pay the bills this month, even if it means digging in to our very small savings, and then just be done with it and let him know he's on his own? I want to do the right thing. I'm not trying to punish him by not paying the bill, I'm just worried I'll be jeopardizing my own financial security. I guess I don't want to carry the guilt of ruining his credit by not paying the bill when I do have the money in savings.

Alexia

I'm just a reader here, not much of a poster, but I wanted to tell you my experience with this in FL. I filed myself, did every step as instructed and followed all requirements to the letter. It was uncontested, no kids, house but I made all the money and had maticulous records (CPA here). AH was served personally and refused to respond in any way. (AH living with another woman by this time) I filed more papers and got a default order since he would not respond.

I got to court and the magistrate (no judge in this type of thing) refused my divorce because AH did not respond and he wanted to see that "a lawyer" filled out the papers, even if the papers I filled out were correct, which he said they were. I had to go back, pay 1,500 for a laywer to fill out the exact same forms (of course they were "prettier" cause a lawyer did them), and one week later the same magistrate granted me a divorce. I was so mad I couldnt see straight.

It probably depends on the county (Brevard) and the magistrate you get. I'd look for some cheap or free legal aide first if I were in your shoes.

Good luck to you (()), it's hard any way you do it.

denny57

If the bill is in his name only, don't pay it. That's my suggestion.

lilac

Just wanted to wish you luck, and let you know you are not alone here.

Pick-a-name

I'm the last person to answer this,but could you pay the minimum payment (to retain the credit--is it a joint state?) and then turn it over for him to reimburse or whatever you decide? Just my initial thought.

best

In a 50/50 state.... bills and assests are 50/50 unless an uncontested agreement between the two of you is reached and put in writing. A judge will look over any agreement and if unbalanced they may ask questions.
Till such time that you stand before a judge and an agreement is made legal, there is no his and mine per the law. It is a joint ownership of both debt and asset (unless you both agree otherwise in writing)
So paying now gives up 2000, paying later gives up 1000.
Paying now can open up more credit available to increase the debt tomorrow as well. If he continues the way you say he is doing things...his credit score will be lost anyway. You could be just putting off what is to come till another day.

I would look at it from this angle... Was the $2000 debt acquired because of something both gained from or was it all drinking money he spent?

BigSis

I live in a Community Property state (Washington). When Mr. Big and I divorced in 1990, we used a "do it yourself divorce book" available at Barnes and Noble. We had some assets, but were in agreement on everything.

Two things I might have done differently:

1. I did not address the retirement... we both had retirement through our work, and we did not indicate if either of us was to be allowed to draw on the other's retirement.

2. I did not realize that divorce meant NOTHING to our creditors. As far as they were concerned, ALL accounts were joint, and it didn't matter that we had amicably split the accounts... he took Mobil oil, I took Sears...etc. When he failed to pay on Mobil oil a year later - they came after ME!!

What a mess.

My suggestion would be to sell something so that ALL credit is paid off and closed as part of the divorce.

I wish you the best.

elizabeth1979

I would make the serious suggestion that in the state of FL you consider at least talking to attorneys. Most do free consultations.

Reason being, primarily, if your husband is not working and you are..under certain circumstances, he could persuade a judge to think he is entitled to 'spousal support'.

It happens.

Best of luck.

Notoshure

Yes there is but think it's illegal!!!!! LOL Not to make light of this but you guy's have help me finally get in a good mood

lillian

he said don't worry about the bill, that he would get a job and take care of it-- why not take him at his word? it's not your responsibility, is it? if you owe anything on it, pay what you owe- otherwise, he's a grown man-- remember that. you don't have to choose to feel guilty over something that isn't your responsibility. if your name is on the bill, pay;if not, it's his-- 50 50 applies to everything in both of your names, at least in CA- at the end of our marriage, my husband drove up his credit card bills and defaulted- my credit, and i've applied for things since, is fine/hasn't been affected by what he's done with his credit. just my experience; the first thing i'd do is get yourself off of joint accounts/credit cards asap.

Janitw

As a loan officer - which I am - His debt is his debt UNLESS you are on it as an authorized signer or you happen to be joint on the credit card. Now if in a community property state - the creditor may come after you if they know he is married when he took out the card...but that usually takes a while for them to realize this but still it could come back to bite you in the rear end later on down the road even if a judge ordered him to pay it...