StandingStrong

I also minimized the abuse that my XAH displayed. I also tried to buy some time - "I'd wait till the kids got older", "I couldn't afford to leave", etc...... And you know - I got so sucked into the whole drama, I always had an excuse, I continued my role in the game, and I sure did let alot of things happen that never should have.
Children don't have a choice as far as staying or leaving. It is the job of the parents to keep their children safe.
You admit that your daughter is already emotionally scarred - imagine how another year of this abuse is going to scar her!

You cannot always use the Alanon theories in a household that has violence in it - there are posts about this in the "stickies" at the top of the forum.

If you want to leave and planning are doing so, I say you re-do your exit plan so that you may save your daughter even one more day of the abuse that she is enduring. And I'd suggest that you get yourself counseling as well for your role. As much as we don't like to admit it, we do play a role.

I feel your pain - I allowed my XAH to treat my kids in a way he shouldn't have. I speak to you from my own regrets. Protect the kids!

denny57

This is true SS; it states in the Al-Anon literature that if violence is involved, get out or encourage getting out. Safety first.

Sunflower

I was 21 when I left my xAH--I couldn't trust him with my toddler son--I never saw him do anything at all to him--but he was abusing me-I knew eventually it would roll over unto my son--I left with a small siutcase and stood on the corner of the street waiting for a taxi to take me to a womans shelter with my son--I left everything-my house-car-everything but NOTHING really.I could have gone home to my parents but I didnt want to involve them--it was a scary time for me.I had no job-no skills-no money-etc...WHEN CJILDREN ARE INVOLVED YOU LEAVE ASAP...no other choices or excuses. I had my exAH arrested for abuse--.Eventually I did go to my parents home-so I could go to college and get a career to raise my son..I became a nurse in 2 years-with a good income.Things werent that smooth--after I went to my parents he came to their house and ripped the whole door off the house trying to get in-by then I was in my own comfort zone-the one he had tried to take me away from by isolating me from everyone I held dear.The police came-I pressed charges of 'threatening to murder'' Off he went to jail--for a while--he got out--I never heard from him again ever!!!!Thank God---some of that may be because my brother and cousin were waiting for him when he got out of jail--he was told never to see/talk/bother me or my son in any way---quess he got the message--COWARD

splendra

((((mskirt))))

Hoping everthing is alright with you....