prodigal

Crumbs, he is a sick man. Do you have a Higher Power to whom you pray? I am going through this too and I've gotta tell ya, that other than one time that I was doubting myself, I feel complete peace. I just put the entire situation into God's hands. I'm not fearful, nervous, depressed, unhappy, or second-guessing myself. Am I doing this by my own self-will? Absolutely not!

Stay strong, Crumbs, you ARE going to make it to the other side, and that other side is waaayyyyy better!

free2be

I too am seeing a lawyer on sunday. I have been married to AH for 17 years and this is the 3rd time I have consulted with a lawyer. What I find different about this time is I do not feel the termoil I have felt in the past. Don't get me wrong my emotional state varies from moment to moment. I sometimes feel as though I have multiple personality disorder.
I needed to decide for me when I was ready to move on and take control of the future. For me, future in this mariage is more uncertain and scary than my future on my own. That is what I have found keeps me focused.
Stay strong, focus on you...

StandingStrong

My XAH's words to me were something along the lines of "no one's ever going to love you like me". My first reactive thought was "Thank God!" LOL. I mean really - how he treated me was not loving!!!

He's used to you being there for him, used to having you to fall on, he's learned that he can manipulate you and he knows how much you love and care for him. He's probably going to push any and every button that he can think of to keep you weak and have you second guessing yourself. He's losing his safety net - one he's been quite comfortable with!

The ball is in your court and you can choose to do whatever it is that you wish to do with it. My hope is that you have a wonderful support team as it's no easy task to go through a divorce.

Hang in there!

WantsOut

Hi Crumbs-

Mine told me so many things -

"You're going to regret this."
"No one will ever love you like I do."
"Think hard before you cause so much destruction." (this one was hard for me)
"You're cold."
"You're messed up."
"You don't believe in unconditional love."

After a while I couldn't even react anymore. I'd just sit there and look at him after one of these remarks and I felt totally empty. He found it unnerving. I just had to survive.

You will have moments of fear. You will have moments of power. Moments of joy. Moments of doubt and terror. Stay strong and trust that you know what's right for you.

Strength.