devil_angel

How can I stop missing my alcoholic ex who I left 2 months ago? I live alone now and it is so different, I still have hard days when I get really lonely and start reminiscing. I have been trying to have no contact, but its hard. I sometimes contact him and he is mean to me which hurts. I still love him, and leaving him was the hardest thing I have ever done. I just am not willing to deal with his alchoholism and controlling ways. I dont have any good female friends yet because he was so controlling about what I could do without him. I did meet an awesome guy, but I am used to always having someone by my side, even if he was a drunk. We had a lot of wonderful times and its hard not to miss him. We were together for several years. It makes me cry when I think about everything.

Cynay

I think its ok to miss him, to love him, to think of him. Just dont take action.

I think it hurts more when you do keep contact and they either ignore you or treat you like you are of no worth to them.... I had to go no contact, there is only one, maybe two that I could actually be friends with and that is hard as well. I guess something just happens, an emotion once you are that close...

Well I think the best way to work though it is of course morn what you have lost and just get busy taking care of you. Go out and make those friends, maybe contact a couple you lost touch with. Its a big world and there is much in it to enjoy.

Like the signature says.... dont stare too long at the closed door.

hope2bhappy

I am so sorry you are hurting. Give yourself time. Your life will go on in spite of this. I know that you can't see this now, but everything is going to be okay. A happier day is right around the corner. We are nowhere in life by accident. Just keep moving forward.

cave5552000

I to was like you . missed her terribly , started going to al-anon and working on me ...so I thought. But really what I was doing was gathering as much knowledge about the sickness as I could. So now we could be together and I could fix her because now I had the tools...[ i can hear the chuckling in the background] so after almost six months of separation and almost a year of al-anon I was ready Lost 37 pounds was in the best shape i have been in a while, spent the summer on the boat.. was all good I was getting ready to ride in on my white stallion... and then something happened. I took a bad fall and could not keep working out , not taking care of myself I lost more wieght and became sick again..sick in the part I play in this.Walked in her door and it began all over again for the seventh time in nine years....it lasted a month and a half. The closer was I lost my dad and she went out and drank for two days. I just wasnt enough fun.. Hurt worse than looseing my father... now thats sad. But this time I did things differently Instead of the yelling to get the ...out of my life and carrying that burden again I instead made her make the decision and she made the only decision she could Now this time I believed in my heart as well as my head two things, one she is an alcoholic that I cannot save and by finally ending it is doing the best thing I can do for her and most importantly. myself. And two, for me to understand myself and what part I played in this. And this time it feels a whole lot better. Hang in there angel it does get better if you work a program my mother used to say you can never love someone who doesnt love themselfs because it well never be enough

TexasGirl

Hi there,
You sound just like me a few months ago. It was sooooooooo hard. I found myself bursting into tears and painful sobs out of nowhere. I hung out crying in the bathroom at work. I felt so alone, and like you, I had no friends. Fast forward a few months, and things are looking up for me. It took some time, but I have 3 girlfriends that I am really close to (plus a couple others that I like as well). I've said on here before that I think they saved my life. I really do. And I've started to get over STBXAH. There's still something there, but it's slowly fading with time. I know it's hard to be in the thick of it, but all I can really do is promise you there is life after living with an alcoholic. I'm still not out of the woods entirely, but I'm far enough to see there's an end.
Best.
TG