mazey

Tom....nice post.

Astro

I don't mind being referred to as an A, XAH, or ABF, but I'd rather be called Scott. Makes me feel a little more human I guess;-)

elizabeth1979

I do think its the alcoholics choice to share or not share his disease with others. I do not want to ever broadcast someone elses stuff as its not my place, its my place to share my issues and experiences relevant to me and my recovery. So, this is why I see the point of not sharing names..I also think its more comfortable for some to be more anonymous. Im fine with what everyone is comfortable with for themselves!

My ex's name is Dan, but I will probably not refer to him by name.

Good thread.

denny57

Unless and until he gives me permission to share his name here, AH

WantsOut

I always felt that terms like "AH" and "DH" were simply devices for maintaining privacy. I never thought they were intended to depersonalize our SOs, but I do see how it could easily slip into that direction. I think this thread is good food for thought.

denny57

I think it depends on where you are coming from yourself.

lilac

I have a Christopher too.

HolyQow

First, I can say that I am not/was not married to any of the above because the name doesn't match

And personally, when I read a post, I would like to know if it's their husband, wife, son, daughter-in-law, etc. etc.. that they are talking about. Sometimes I can read a whole post thinking that the poster is a man, only to find out at the end that it was the wife posting, or someone's grandmother...

I have never liked the initials DH (supposed to be for Dear Husband? because I immediately think Di6k Head).....so maybe we can come up with new initials?

CH (current Husband?)
CW(current wife)
OL (old lady : haha)
H2 (second husband)
1/2S (stepson)

We are on the cutting edge of acronyms here!

Astro

You crack me up, HQ. Uh-oh, what is HQ an acronym for?;-)

HolyQow

HerQueen? LOL

You may just call me Queen, and you won't have to bow or anything!

I thought HolyCow would be taken when I signed up, so I didn't even try it, but you may NOT call me cow!

dogandbooklover

I made the original post because I was uncomfortable referring to my husband as AH. It made him sound like a 'thing' and not a 'person'. It seems like most everyone else here agrees. I understand the need for anonymity, but my feeling is that being online makes you as anonymous as possible really. Hel!, if someone wants to take the huge trouble to to find out who I am then you have bigger problems that having an alcoholic in your life! My husband Christopher is a wonderful, amazing, loyal, handsome, loving man who happens to be an alcoholic.

As I stated in the first post, I was not looking for replies. I was doing this for myself, but it looks like almost everyone else feels like I do. To some degree.

GlassPrisoner

Thank You dogandbooklover.

I know it's none of my business, but I have noticed some posters give their spouses derogatory nicknames here also. Never really sat well with me.

My ex wifes name is Stacy. I'm an alcoholic in recovery, and she is a co-dependant drug user. After finishing my 5th step, I realized I too have a lot of co-dependant traits.

denny57

You are aware there are almost 4,000 members here. :-)

I used to be someone who assumed I knew others' motives. I also used to be someone who needed to be right, seen as right and if I didn't convince you the first time, I told you a few more times.

What worked for me: Al-Anon, therapy and the loving support here and from my friends and family.

luvmyfurbabies

Keith

TexasGirl

Hi D&BL,
I know that your post was not intended to start a roll call, but I do want to make a comment anyway if I may. I call my husband AH on here. I have shared a lot of his very personal affairs, and if he is not comfortable with his name being associated with it, however unlikely it is that anyone would know, then I can't give his name. LOL, in all honesty, I don't even use my name on here. I've posted a picture before, but my name, NO WAY! LOL!!!! How much sense does that make...........

I like the point of your post, and in fact, I remember the day that Jill did the very same thing maybe a year ago. It made me cry. Sorry...just reminiscing.

HolyQow

Alot of responses for not needing a response

I think we get the point, that somehow you think giving husband a label is disrespectful. I think it would be if we called him that in real life, but of course we do not. I think it's just a way to identify who we are speaking about. If you said "Bob this...." and "Bob that...." we would have no idea who Bob was.

My stepsister has brain damage, and years ago, it was okay to say her development was ********....now we have to say mentally challenged. Lately, no matter what kind of handicap, it's called "challenged", so I don't think it is in any way degrading to say AH. How about Alcohol Challenged? I just don't think there will be any politically correct way of making everyone happy. If not using AH works for you, then great. If others use it, great. I think everyone should always do what is comfortable for themselves.

You could think of AH as Adorable Husband which is how you describe him.
I will call Scott (Astro) LH.....Laughing Hyena.....just/kidding.

FormerDoormat

I remember that post, it was titled "His Name is Richard and He is an Alcoholic."

Astro

Hey, I resemble that remark! ;-)

ritabee

Keep in mind that my man has been calling escorts.

His name is John. Suits him dontcha think?

WantsOut

lol