scared mom
scared mom 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Welcome to SR Peebee.... we are glad you found us.
Im sooo sorry that your son is an addict, I know how helpeless it is to watch someone you love kill themselves.
I guess would start with is learning as much as you can about his addiction... knowledge is power and will help you not feel so hopeless. Remember the 3 Cs. You did not cause this, you can not control this and you can not cure this. That alone gave me breath room. He really is not doing this to you personally.... its a disease and its not your disease to fix.
What worked for me was theraphy, Al-anon, open AA/NA meetings, SR and reading everything I could.... I suggest "under the influence" to help understand the physical.
Stick around.... read the stickies at the top and vent/post all you want. I look forward to getting to know you.
Im sooo sorry that your son is an addict, I know how helpeless it is to watch someone you love kill themselves.
I guess would start with is learning as much as you can about his addiction... knowledge is power and will help you not feel so hopeless. Remember the 3 Cs. You did not cause this, you can not control this and you can not cure this. That alone gave me breath room. He really is not doing this to you personally.... its a disease and its not your disease to fix.
What worked for me was theraphy, Al-anon, open AA/NA meetings, SR and reading everything I could.... I suggest "under the influence" to help understand the physical.
Stick around.... read the stickies at the top and vent/post all you want. I look forward to getting to know you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Richmond, Virginia
Posts: 26
Dear peebee: you and I have much in common. I have a son (35) that my husband and I have had to detach from. I have just learned that word "detach" - doesn't mean you don't love them - just means you have a right to a life that isn't in constant turmoil. This was our first Thanksgiving without him and X-mas will probably be the same. Too many F** you voicemail messages and constant drunken phone calls. You finally reach a point where you realize your niceness continues to enable him to continue his current lifestyle. Until things change, your son won't. I am praying for you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Faith~Hope~Love
Posts: 963
Hi peebee
Another mom here and I also wanted to welcome you. When I first found my son was an addict, I was devastated. I tried everything I could think of to save him and he only sunk deeper into his addiction. What I learned was that I'm powerless over his addiction, and the best thing I could do was get help for myself and allow him to feel the consequences of his actions. It's been a rough road, but today my son is clean and I can't even imagine where I'd be if I hadn't found recovery for myself. I hope you stick around, there is so much love and support here, and you don't have to do this alone.
hugs ~
deedee
Another mom here and I also wanted to welcome you. When I first found my son was an addict, I was devastated. I tried everything I could think of to save him and he only sunk deeper into his addiction. What I learned was that I'm powerless over his addiction, and the best thing I could do was get help for myself and allow him to feel the consequences of his actions. It's been a rough road, but today my son is clean and I can't even imagine where I'd be if I hadn't found recovery for myself. I hope you stick around, there is so much love and support here, and you don't have to do this alone.
hugs ~
deedee
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
hello peebee,
still another mom here, who understands your pain. i have a 22 year old in early recovery from alcoholic and drug addiction. as much i tried, i could not control her or her disease. my efforts only created more chaos in my world, and hers. when she decided to get help, she did - it had to be her decision. alanon helps, and taking care of yourself will keep you strong. i pray your son will seek recovery. and i'm sure you're a caring mom who will be there for him when he does.
blessings - k
still another mom here, who understands your pain. i have a 22 year old in early recovery from alcoholic and drug addiction. as much i tried, i could not control her or her disease. my efforts only created more chaos in my world, and hers. when she decided to get help, she did - it had to be her decision. alanon helps, and taking care of yourself will keep you strong. i pray your son will seek recovery. and i'm sure you're a caring mom who will be there for him when he does.
blessings - k
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