Boundaries
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
Boundaries
Hi Everyone,
Situation: Drunk AH annoys me just be being drunk and talking. I don't even like looking at him, let alone listening to him. If I get up and go into a different room, AH follows me, continues to talk or just sits there. If I leave the house, AH gets mad and questions where I'm going and drinks more so that when I return to the house the whole thing starts all over. Can't talk on the phone because AH sits there and listens and wants to know all info and butts in. I try to set up a boundary that when he is drunk, I will leave the room since I don't want to be around him like that and I shouldn't have to leave my own house for days at a time just to get a break from him. AH understands this when sober, but when drunk does not comprehend. How do I work on keeping this boundary, or any boundary when someone is drunk? They just don't get it. Thanks.
Situation: Drunk AH annoys me just be being drunk and talking. I don't even like looking at him, let alone listening to him. If I get up and go into a different room, AH follows me, continues to talk or just sits there. If I leave the house, AH gets mad and questions where I'm going and drinks more so that when I return to the house the whole thing starts all over. Can't talk on the phone because AH sits there and listens and wants to know all info and butts in. I try to set up a boundary that when he is drunk, I will leave the room since I don't want to be around him like that and I shouldn't have to leave my own house for days at a time just to get a break from him. AH understands this when sober, but when drunk does not comprehend. How do I work on keeping this boundary, or any boundary when someone is drunk? They just don't get it. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Hey there.....
Your right you should not have too... but in a fair world you should have have to live/love a Alcoholic.
I guess I would have to ask if you want to be right or be happy? If it were me I would leave, get a nice hotel and relax and enjoy my time.... (I would also put it on his credit card) Hopefully after a few times of this he will understand and start to respect your boundries.
What do you think?
I shouldn't have to leave my own house for days at a time just to get a break from him.
I guess I would have to ask if you want to be right or be happy? If it were me I would leave, get a nice hotel and relax and enjoy my time.... (I would also put it on his credit card) Hopefully after a few times of this he will understand and start to respect your boundries.
What do you think?
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Queen..boundaries are for you..not him.
Having said that..I can tell you I understand what that is like. My ex used to physically prevent me from leaving the house. Nice guy that one.
Have you tried telling him..if you do this, I will leave the house/ room/ and will not engage in a conversation with you?
Provided he is not phsically preventing you from leaving the house, it wouldnt matter to me if he understood or not..once Im out the door, he gets it!
I agree with Cynay, after a few times they usually, not always..but usually get it..
Having said that..I can tell you I understand what that is like. My ex used to physically prevent me from leaving the house. Nice guy that one.
Have you tried telling him..if you do this, I will leave the house/ room/ and will not engage in a conversation with you?
but when drunk does not comprehend
I agree with Cynay, after a few times they usually, not always..but usually get it..
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Brantford Ontario
Posts: 11
If it were me I would leave, get a nice hotel and relax and enjoy my time.... (I would also put it on his credit card)
(except that he's having trouble paying his visa
)
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