MYSTICAL

hi
I havent posted for a long time but Id like some advice.
My AH was sober for two years and then picked up again, was very good for the 2 years he didnt drink and it made me realise how good it could be.
But nothing lasts forever hes been into detox 5 time this year by his choice.Each time he comes out a week later he picks up again and the family is devistated.
two days ago he came home drunk and my 16 year old son snapped, AH was saying pour me , why me , you dont understand.
Son grabbed a knife off the table and threatened him , got the knife of him but then within a second my son punched his father in the face, and ran like hell with father in hot pursuit.
AH returned and I went looking for son,While i was out looking my AH called the police and wanted to charge my son with domestic violence.
then regreted what hed done and called me to get him from the police station.
the police questioned my son and asked him if he wanted an AVO on his father while he is drinking.
Now sons staying ay nans and AH is drinking heavily
will it get worse or is this rock bottom

Zoey

MYSTICAL, Looks like not too many around today, happens sometimes on Sat. and Sun.
I didn't check your previous threads so don't know if your hubby attende AA or other support groups or did he just do it on his own??

Best to keep son and father out of the same house together. Must hurt you very much.
I best go back and read your posts, then I shall see if I have 2 cents to share. Hopefully others will be along.
Caring hugs

PS, Of one thing I am sure, no one knows if or when or how they will reach their bottom. Sorry, but NO ONE knows, except a HP.

StandingStrong

Your children are 16 and 11 or 12 years old?

Mystic:
2 years sober.
5 times in voluntary rehab in a year.
He lasts one week and then starts drinking again.

You asked if he has hit bottom yet because he regrets involving the police and your son moving out?
And just what would have happened if your AH would have caught your son when he chased him out the door?

Well, it sounds to me like your son has hit his rock bottom!

Is this the kind of chaos that you want to live? Is this the kind of chaos that you want to keep subjecting your children too?

Here's my question.....what are YOUR limits and YOUR boundaries?

Pick-a-name

My kids have hit their bottom,too even though their father has not...yet?

Prayers going out to you all; hope this is a turning point for your family and your AH.

Cynay

Im soooo sorry this is happening to you!

But I have to ask a question..... why is your son living somewhere else and not your AH. He is the one with the problem and is not willing to ge sober yet.... the other thing I would ask is what about the other kids? You have more then one right? What happens when they hit there bottom and then your the only one left that has not hit bottom?

I hate to sound rough, but I hate that you are all going through this and cant fine any peace.

Janitw

Hello Mystical - my feelings are this...

1. What boundaries have you set up to this point?
2. Men come and go children are forever...
3. If you're son is no longer in the home at what point if any will he return and can you trust your husband with him.
4. Husband needs a reality check and go back to in house rehab or show him the door. This will show your son how much you love him and won't tolerate any alcoholic abuse from your husband. This boy NEEDS to see a strong mountain moving mother. In full battle armor.
5. Move the mountain sweetie.

(((((HUGS))))) I am so sorry you are going through this and my heart bleeds for you and yours. Remember the 3 C's....

Janit

MYSTICAL

HI
sons coming back today the both kids want their dad
ive told his brothers and sisters to see if they can help AH

i cant help him I know that and my kids come first
he says hes going to go in again, i dont know if it helps
he did the whole AA bit with sponsers etc and he still goes to meetings in the day but drinks after them.
Iam arranging my for my son to see a councillor and I think ill go with my daughter too.
I also think that i need to look after myself and the kids better and just let him do his own thing
i will not be so available for him to get him out of trouble all the time
The kids love him very much they just want him to be sober.
they dont want him to leave
Unfortunatley i see thru every lie and know when he picks up even though no one else can.
When he left rehab this time the nurses and doctors said to him either your a good lier or youll make it this time.
tell me someone these people that work with As do they relise that they are very good at covering up?
why dont they talk to the families?
mystical

FormerDoormat

Can it get any worse? Yes if you don't take an inventory of your life and make some serious changes.

Isn't it bad enough that you've suffered at the hands of a drunk partner over the years? One who's been emotionally unavailable and probably verbally and or physically abusive to you and your son? I'm assuming that verbal and or physical abuse has occured, as obviously your son learned that being physically abusive is acceptable behavior since he pulled a knife on your husband.

You can see the damage that's been done to your son by his recent behavior, so what are you going to do about it? Continue to allow a man who's been through detox five times this year and who obviously isn't ready to change to wreak havoc in you and your son's lives or end the cycle of abuse once and for all?

You can choose to put up with your husband's deplorable behavior but your minor son has no choice in the matter. If he were my son, I'd get him some counseling so he can learn how to channel his anger in healthier non-violent ways.

MYSTICAL

AH has never been physically abusive not a violent person
maybe a bit verbally
son will get help
mystical

fixyou

is your son violent with anyone else other than the AH? if not you must relize he was just trying to protect his mom(you) because he has become the man of the house of the last few years.

MYSTICAL

THANKS fixyou
i think you may be right over the last year, hes very responsable well mannered child and very smart.