LIFEOUTTHERE

I have been debating with myself for the past few days on rather or not to return to my AH. I posted yesterday and got some really nice replys. Thank Ya'll. Anyway this post is probobly fixing to start to sound silly, but I am going to tell you anyway. I don't normally have vivid dreams that I remember, but last night I did. I had horrible dreams that I returned to my AH and he was drinking and I was begging to get out and there were no doors or windows to be found. He was just sitting in his chair as always laughing at me. IT WAS HORRIBLE. I don't normally base my life on dreams that I have, but it was so real. I think my head may be talking to my heart maybe. The logical part of me says run like hell, but then my heart says stick around and see how much more of me can be broken. Okay I did not get much sleep last night after my dream so forgive me if this is dum.

Ngokpa

The dream may be on to something. Dreams are usually about different aspects of ourselves, but you have to ask yourself why you'd be going back. Loneliness? Is there any real communication?

I was in therapy once and had just seen my dad and bailed because he was being pretty obnoxious, and my shrink said "No more abuse." It got to me that while I loved to blame the abuser, I was the one who kept showing up. Abuse was painful, but it was familiar; stepping into a new role was scarey. But with the new role (in which I didn't know who I was) there was room to grow. Confusion was okay.

I eventually re-established relations with my dad, but that was after I made it clear that I wasn't putting up with abuse, and had also gotten used to the idea that I had to lose a lot of expectations. He wasn't ever going to meet them anyway. But I had to learn to have relationships where it was possible to have my needs met--but looking to have them met where there wasn't any true communication was like trying to buy oranges in a hardware store.

mfisher

I had this reoccuring dream that I was in a car with my ex ah and he was driving drunk. The car doors would not open and I could not see out the windows. He was laughing, I was screaming but nothing would come out. It was horrible. To me it was a clear picture of my life if I stayed.

LIFEOUTTHERE

I honestly don't know how he would be if I went back. I have never done this before, but I don't want to take the chance and the kids freak out when I mention it, so I don't.

lovemypup

Check out this website. It is fun to look at and makes sense alot to times.
dreammoods.com

ex.
Laughing

To dream that you are laughing, suggests that you need to lighten up and let go of your problems. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Laughing is also a sign of joyous release and pleasure. If you are being laughed at, then it indicates your insecurities and fears of not being accepted.

To hear the cheerful laughter of children, denotes splendid joy and vital health.

To hear evil, demonic laughing in your dream, represents feelings of humiliation and/or helplessness

Ayers1995

It doesn't sound dumb at all Life - You have a fear of what you might be facing if you were to go back..in your subconscious you worry that if you DID go back you wouldn't be able to leave...

It makes perfect sense to me.... I'm in that situation.. but I'm not being physically restrained... just emotionally.

Listen to yourself and to your babies... get on your own feet recovery wise, and then make decisions.

Has anything changed on his part??