Any "A's" out there? What did it take...?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Posts: 261
Agree Patty! His heals are stuck and he cant be forced out..I do have a bag at my sisters house so that is no prob....
I have a 6 year old cat that is my baby that he said he would kill if I leave....
I dont beleive he would because he loves her too. Although we have to take what they say seriously.
Hmmmm... I will think about that.
Maybe tonght?
I have a 6 year old cat that is my baby that he said he would kill if I leave....
I dont beleive he would because he loves her too. Although we have to take what they say seriously.
Hmmmm... I will think about that.
Maybe tonght?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Nowhere TX
Posts: 60
Hi karen,
Not sure what exactly to say other than I'll keep you in my prayers. I noticed your post was about his bottom, and after reading the thread, I wonder why you're not more concerned with yours. But then I was where you are, and I didn't have a job, just a SAHM (stay at home mom) with two boys. and I wasn't ready until I was ready.
Looking back, I don't remember a whole lot from last year, it's a blur of worry and stress, just a blur, and I wonder now what all I missed out on.
I filed earlier this summer. I was ready, I was tired of waiting on him, tired of the worry, the chaos, the exhaustion. Walking on eggshells had become swimming in eggshells and my kids were trying to keep up. I look back now and think--WHY didn't i see how this was affecting 'them'. Seems so simple in hindsight. I'm learning there is no easy path. This is hard as hell, I worry if I'm doing this right or that right, BUT, it's calm. It's PEACEFUL, no one is on my case for pointless crap that wears you down, no one is on the boys' case for stupid crap wearing them down. We LAUGH now. I hear them laugh SO much! I'm still stressed about fiances, but I know I'll make it all work--somehow.
I had hope, lots and lots of hope--for him. I, for some reason, wasn't ready to have it for myself until I was ready. Looking back, I know if I had left, or kicked him out earlier when I wasn't ready, I would have been doing it in hopes of getting him to 'wake up/sober up'. For me, and this is just me, that would have been a mistake because I know I would have taken him back and believed whatever story he spun to get me to take him back. I just wasn't ready. when I was, I was. Period and it had NOTHING to do with him. It was for ME, for MY SANITY and for the boys. And then, no one could talk me out of it and trust me, plenty beside my STBX-AH tried--my parents, my aunts, friends. But I knew, this was the right thing to do, no matter how hard it seemed. There were lots of moments of doubt, but every, and I mean EVERY dang time I turned around and 'looked back (read: am I doing the right thing, really?)' I'd run into a 'sign' that showed me to turn around and pay attention to where I was going, needed to go instead of looking at the destruction behind me. That may sound strange, but by 'signs' I mean another woman calling claiming all sorts of lovely things, another DWI, more jail time, and various other things I no longer had to worry about -- Thank God.
I worry, I stress, single parenting is hard as hell, but peace is wonderful. He's currently in a half way house sobering up. I hope it works for him and I mourn my dream, but htat's all it was, a dream of what my life should be like--no basis in reality.
I wanted my sanity and peace back and I didn't want my kids to live the chaos anymore than I'd already forced them to. I might wonder from time to time why things couldn't have been different, but it's all still too fresh in my mind and I don't ever want to be back in that place (living with an A) again. Never again.
Hugs to you,
FA
Not sure what exactly to say other than I'll keep you in my prayers. I noticed your post was about his bottom, and after reading the thread, I wonder why you're not more concerned with yours. But then I was where you are, and I didn't have a job, just a SAHM (stay at home mom) with two boys. and I wasn't ready until I was ready.
Looking back, I don't remember a whole lot from last year, it's a blur of worry and stress, just a blur, and I wonder now what all I missed out on.
I filed earlier this summer. I was ready, I was tired of waiting on him, tired of the worry, the chaos, the exhaustion. Walking on eggshells had become swimming in eggshells and my kids were trying to keep up. I look back now and think--WHY didn't i see how this was affecting 'them'. Seems so simple in hindsight. I'm learning there is no easy path. This is hard as hell, I worry if I'm doing this right or that right, BUT, it's calm. It's PEACEFUL, no one is on my case for pointless crap that wears you down, no one is on the boys' case for stupid crap wearing them down. We LAUGH now. I hear them laugh SO much! I'm still stressed about fiances, but I know I'll make it all work--somehow.
I had hope, lots and lots of hope--for him. I, for some reason, wasn't ready to have it for myself until I was ready. Looking back, I know if I had left, or kicked him out earlier when I wasn't ready, I would have been doing it in hopes of getting him to 'wake up/sober up'. For me, and this is just me, that would have been a mistake because I know I would have taken him back and believed whatever story he spun to get me to take him back. I just wasn't ready. when I was, I was. Period and it had NOTHING to do with him. It was for ME, for MY SANITY and for the boys. And then, no one could talk me out of it and trust me, plenty beside my STBX-AH tried--my parents, my aunts, friends. But I knew, this was the right thing to do, no matter how hard it seemed. There were lots of moments of doubt, but every, and I mean EVERY dang time I turned around and 'looked back (read: am I doing the right thing, really?)' I'd run into a 'sign' that showed me to turn around and pay attention to where I was going, needed to go instead of looking at the destruction behind me. That may sound strange, but by 'signs' I mean another woman calling claiming all sorts of lovely things, another DWI, more jail time, and various other things I no longer had to worry about -- Thank God.
I worry, I stress, single parenting is hard as hell, but peace is wonderful. He's currently in a half way house sobering up. I hope it works for him and I mourn my dream, but htat's all it was, a dream of what my life should be like--no basis in reality.
I wanted my sanity and peace back and I didn't want my kids to live the chaos anymore than I'd already forced them to. I might wonder from time to time why things couldn't have been different, but it's all still too fresh in my mind and I don't ever want to be back in that place (living with an A) again. Never again.
Hugs to you,
FA
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