Zoey

I am with minnie, he doesn't have any money, yet he didn't want the # for state funded. To me that sounds like he isn't interested in recovery.

I might , if get another call tell him to go to the Salvation Army for a good meal, that might make him feel better, and other help there. (then hang up)

He took the one # so you would think he was serious, but he prob just wants you to come and give him money so he can get drinks.

laurie6781

Sarah, if he calls again, before you hang up, simply say I am now reporting you to the police as a stalker.

Then hang up, then do it.

What he is doing is STALKING you, that is NOT ACCEPTABLE. and he is INTERFERING WITH YOU BEING ABLE TO DO YOUR JOB.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

equus

Ringing back was worth it just for this! Your conscience should be utterly clear, he didn't want the only real help you could offer and you have nothing else to help him with. If that sounds harsh - bear in mind it's me that believes we can help a drinker, by supporting them get help; if that's a no go then you sure as hell can't take it on without!!

You really can't take the place or do the job of rehab and/or alcohol services.

CatsTail

Elizabeth 1979,

Do you have the strength to not take his calls and ignore him?

Ngaire

Grasshopper

It takes time to teach people that i have changed.It took me a long time to teach folks that,yes i can be manipulated.And it took ages,to teach folks that i can,no longer,be manipulated.You see when i put the focus on myself,and what needs to change,in me,then,i know that this is something that i can ,do,something about.But if im lettting another control,me,in any manner,and im,putting the focus,on them,which i cannot do anything about,then im lost,and confused..So no matter what another says or, does i put the focus on me,my part.Make changes where i need to.I teach folks how to treat me.What worked before doesnt work out for them today.,and it takes time for them to understand that i have changed.....Only BS,will baffle my brains,,,today..
He can go to recovery meetings anytime.The ball is in his court.People who want help,find a way to get it.Your heart,youre gut feelings will let you know,right of the bat,if he is only trying to get your attention,or if he is sincere,in wanting,getting help.Through prayer,and working the steps,you will intuvitually know,what to do,if anything.

LaTeeDa

Deax--

My opinion on this is that boundaries can be flexible when the circumstances change. In other words, when the 'actions' show that there is a serious change in the other person, you may want to rethink whether the boundary still makes sense under the present circumstances. Notice I said 'actions', not that the 'words' are telling you things have changed. In this circumstance, there seems to be a lot of words (quacking) but no action to back it up, so sticking with the original boundary still makes sense.

JMO,

L

pmaslan

How's it going today Sarah?

ASpouse

Sarah I think Dan is a sick sick man. I think you need to steer clear of him and get a restraining order against him. Gee, he got the money to get clear across the country to you, can't he call those same people to send him money to help him out? It's really out of your hands. Let it go, please. You've come so far, don't backslide. I think Laurie is right on.

CatsTail

Aspouse is correct, Dan is experiencing the consequences of Dans actions. Can you rewatch your Dr.Phil show?

Ngaire

pmaslan

I am thinking about you tonight Sarah, I hope you are doing well.

elizabeth1979

Thanks everyone!
My wireless network at home is not very cooperative as of late...so I couldnt check in!
I didnt have any further communication with him. I went to a meeting, did some step work, and did alot of journaling. I laid at the beach and read a new book on Eating righr for your blood type. I went to the grocery store, took my dog for a run, and washed my car.

I realize he is ill. The thing about this latest attempt from him...he wasnt acting different, I was reacting. I had stopped reacting for quite some time. I just slipped. But, I caught myself.

I did call the police. As usual, they will not do anything. The police here told me to call them if he came to my house or if he assaulted me, otherwise they really couldn't do anything. My exact words (for the second time with this police departmemt) were, "Stalking is not a crime here?"

So, in any event..Im still trucking along, thanks for being there

pmaslan

Sounds like a very productive weekend Sarah, wish I could say
the same.