Change4life

i have been asked to leave where i am staying and wil now be homeless agin. i probably wont be able to get to a computer after tomarrow 10 am. i will try to check in 1 more time and then. i wil try to stay in touch. I guess i am getting closer to rehab cause I have no where else to go at this point. i dont think I am ready but onceI get there maybe it will help.
take care everyone

Live

Rehab is a blessing to my way of thinking.
hug,
live

MNGirlyGirl

I hope you decide to go to rehab. It will be that extra help you need to get back on your feet. Take care of yourself.

miss communicat

Hi beth

See what rehab has to offer. You have nothing to lose right now, eh? If nothing else, it offers shelter, and you do need that much. I care about you, hope you take good care now of yourself.

Thanks for letting us know whats going on.

((((hugs))))

Autumn

(((Beth)))....

I was just reading your other thread, and I saw the phone number that Don S posted for you. As I stared at his rose photo sort of in awe, the real seriousness of your situation really weighed heavily on my mind. I wondered if something like what you posted above might happen, and then you wouldn't have the number. Please write it down and keep it close to you, in case you cannot get computer access!

Beth, I'm probably one of your friends here who just feels so helpless, and at a loss for words to offer advice anymore. That doesn't mean that I don't care about you very much and think about you every day.

I wish there was something I could do to be with you physically..... this mode of communication is so difficult at a time like this. But please understand that there are dozens of us here that feel the same way, that we are flesh and blood and so very worried sick for you.

Please call that number Beth.

Love, Autumn

BSPGirl

I really hope you can figure a way out of this.

Change4life

I have the # Don left right now my heart is absolutely broken at having to leave my cat behind. hard to see through the tears. If I gave birth to him myself I couldnt love him more. Leaving him is weighing very heavy on my heart.
So very heartbroken and feeling so helpless. I barely cared about anything before now there is nothing left. he might be just a cat, but I love him more than anything. Thought the drugs would kill me, this sis worse. I will probably

Anna

I wish you well Beth.

Autumn

Me too.

Autumn

Hey Beth.....

I hope you make that call today. Tell me - what's the worst that could happen now? Drugs and booze aren't going anywhere Beth, regardless of what decision you make. They'll still be out there whether you choose to live or die. There will just be more left to kill the next person.

You know Beth, you're one of the nicest people I have ever met at this site. My gosh, I have seen how much beauty and love you have to go around. This world needs you. I guess that's part of what makes this all the more difficult to watch unfold. Gee, I think of the day I log on and find a thread announcing that you have died, and bursting into tears. I guess that might sound negative or morbid, but I know that it's a reality for people every day - people not a whole lot different than you or me.

You have so much to live for Beth, beside your cat. There are more cats..... think of them all - so many homeless and abused animals that might find a warm and safe home with you once you're back on your feet. And if your cat had the presence of mind to understand what is happening, he would forgive you without a doubt. Losing pets, however we lose them, is an unpleasant part of life most of us experience more than once. I'm also facing a cat dilemma of my own right now, which is hard enough without having my life on the line. But if it were, it might just be reason enough to give her up to save myself.

Today, I can take comfort in at least knowing that whatever happens, you will go on knowing in your heart that you are very much loved and cared about here. It's almost all that's certain and unwavering at this moment.

Hugs to you Beth.

xo

Luckyv2

As I was sitting here, I was wondering if I really had anything else that I truly could express. We have been here through all of the time, each of us giving all the that we have for you. Not judging for that isn't what the program offers us. 33 days ago Beth I had in fact what I call the 3 H's. Helpless, Hopeless, and Homeless. Yes I had a place in Missouri, but I thought that if I stayed there I wouldn't be able to get clean and stay clean. Yet that was in April that I decided to move. I didn't stay clean, I don't regret it now, for I finally figured out why I didn't stay clean! Because I truly didn't want to or then again maybe I did.

In the NA Basic Text it says that we have never seen anyone who has lived the NA Way relapse. Oh sure I could do a lot of good talking, but the living it was just an illusion in my head. I thought that I was doing it but I wasn't. Today I feel as if We are giving it our best shot. When we want to use WE practice the part in the NA Basic Text that says "You can not save your face and your A$$ at the same time", We have to live it or it won't work. That has been my final awakening I believe, if I truly wanted a new life I have to live that new life. I wish you the best Beth.

Love vic

Beachbabe

Good luck Beth. If God blesses you with rehab, please take advantage of it.

I had to lay here and do it all alone until I found SR. I was SO SICK... scared... you name it and I was feeling it.

I was able to do it at home because I WANTED IT more than life itself. I wish rehab would have been an option though. After going through initial withdrawal, it is my hunble opinion that everyone should be monitored by a Dr for some time. Some actually die trying to get clean. Crazy huh?

You need a home base. Somewhere to 'get it together' without having to depend on anyone. This is your chance to be the girl you use to be before you got sick.

I bet she is cool as hell. Loving, compassionate, caring and giving. We want that girl back as badly as you. Let us meet her.

Luckyv2

Beth I think for most of us we had to quit and start to do something different. I am not sure what to do, I can pray, I can be here for you, but it is up to you to take the action that you need to take. We can not do the action unless you might need a ride.

Love vic

Change4life

I have to leave here like an hou ago. it is pouring. i called the salvtion army there are no beds. i have no wheels all my clothes are wet I hand washed them and now cant dry them cause of the rain. my cat will be safe, and I know there are more cats for me to love at a late date, but this is my cat. My baby, I cant just walk awy emotionless. Autumn thank you for the compliment. Beachbabe, Vic, Anna too many to mention. i love you all. hope to stay in touch. as far as my dying if I do no one will ever know no one knows i go on this site. This is a very sad day for me.

Luckyv2

Beth why don't you just save your life right now and walk to that hospital that is close to you and surrender. What are you waiting for? You don't have to die. Just take the action and admit that you are powerless and then use the actions and walk NOW to the hospital. Wet or not take the steps that are necessary. If you don't have a phone PM me your address and the number to the hospital and I will call them to come and get you. Do this NOW Beth just do it.

Love vic

Smyle

GO TO REHAB BETH !!!!!! You can at least salvage what you have left !!!!!!
Or you can keep traveling down the road to addiction...death is certainly NOT the answer....just go already ...we love you and I hope you will do this !!!
`Beezy

GeorgiaPeach

Beth-
I am here! Look, you have got nothing except the clothes on your back! You have nothing to lose by at least trying! Think back to your highschool years and you had to write down where you thought you would be in 30 years, is this it? Is this what you imagined for yourself? Is this how you want to be remembered? You can change all of this today! Tim and Barb are extending you their hand and all you have to do is take it! We cannot hold your arm and put it there for you, this you must do yourself! Please, take this step! It is raining here also and I don't feel very well today I guess a bit depressed maybe and I was hoping for some good news on here today but even if not I knew that I had to log on to see if I could help someone, anyone today. Let that someone be you Beth! I am just sick to my stomach right now with worry for you and the sad and the most aggrivating part of it is that we are offering and you are not accepting so I ask myself why I am still worrying about someone who seems notto care? I don't have an answer for that except that maybe I believe in you and maybe I think that you are worth saving, that you have something to offer or give back once you have helped yourself. Why are you just waiting to die? Don't you see that you are better than this? You are so smart (most of the time) and you could do so much with your life but you just want to throw it away. Look back at your post, it was so sad that if you were to die that none of us would even know, would anyone know? I can't imagine living my life that way, why would you choose that over a life full of friends and family and people who love you for you? I really want to cry right now but I am at work so I can't but I will be here the rest of the day and Beth, please call or e-mail Tim and get your life back, you deserve so much more from life than this.

Hope

I care about you, Beth. I don't want you to die. I want you to reach out and get the help you need.

You know the cycle....use...regret...forget...obsess..use is never ending until you step out of that vicious cycle and do something different to get that cycle stopped. It truly isn't worth it...using never is. It will always get worse....coninuing unto death unless one steps out into the warmth of recovery. Don't stay out in the cold...you have so many people who will love you until you will love yourself and be your strength until you can stand on your own. I know what it is like to be scared to take the necessary steps, but just have faith that even though you may not want to do it now, later on when you look back, you will be grateful that you gave it a chance.

Beachbabe

Beth?

*continues to hold her down*

Done fighting yet? Let us know, ya aint getting up until you give. Dont mention the 'S' word in the newbie forum PLEASE... bad things could come from that because when we land here our minds are so heavily cloudy.

Plus, it sounds nasty and pathetic. We all have to work our asses off in life. Thats what life is. Our riches arent to be seen on earth but in heaven. Remember that punkin.

Not pushing the Lord on you but if he is in your heart, go to a wednesday night or sunday service. I swear, you will walk out feeling SO POWERFUL and SO FULLFILLED by the love Christ has placed inside your heart.

Just try it hun. Make friends with godly people. People can be cool and Godly... I certainly am hehe. One church service is all I ask. One.

I have another question:

So many people here have your personal information. Why are you not Baker acted? You are a threat to yourself and society. Those of you that are closer to her need to consider this responsibility because at this point, thats what it is... up to us to lock her up and dry her out. She isnt. Thats why the Baker act is for.

We say we love her. Lets prove it. This is bringing the board down and is so toxic to new-comers and regulars alike. Action needs to be taken NOW. To save her life and get some of this off the board (or at least on the same thread... getting crazy).

We CAN save her. All we need is her name and address. BOOM, 48 hours to dry out and think. Then you are assesed and sent to the correct facilty. Paid for by the state. Short of this, she is one good hit away from her heart exploding out of her chest.

Luckyv2

My name is Vic and I am an addict! I think that if we truly knew her name and address most of us would have already been there and done that. We can only suggest things in the here and now to her. I wish I knew how to get ahold of her and even though I live around 1,500 miles away, I would do whatever I could to get the funds to get down there. Most of the interacting stuff that we do won't really help anyway unless someone is ready. Actually the interacting might be something that might P!ss them off enough to do that last one that could kill them.

We are all taught that love and tolerance of others is our code. I don't see anything wrong with her being here, the only requirement for membership in the program is the desire to stop using. It doesn't state that we have to stop using. I just went through a thread in another site that pretty much said either get it or get out, you are not doing us a damn bit of good. It was a quote from this guy that wrote a book. However, on the flip side of this, someone who is using can help me to see myself into where I don't want to go. I guess it all comes down to which pair of glasses that we are wearing at the time. Anyway just my 2 cents.

Love Vic