I am looking for help
Guest
Posts: n/a
I am looking for help
I am looking for help,I feel I fit in the co-dependent but use alcohol,,,I am hurting because of the inpulsive acts I do , that I feel so terribly guilty afterwards. I do not understand how I could do the things I do.....I pray that I can find peace with myself....and help to do this....yet I wonder if I can be helped...sincerely, dorothy
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Dear Dorothy,
I am a codependent and belong to a 12 step fellowship called CoDA (codependents anonymous). About half our fellowship are people who also belong to NA, AA, CA, etc.
Codependency is not just the other side of addiction, it is an unhealthy obsession of caring for others at the expense of caring for ourselves. (I have heard it refered to as "otheresteem" since we have no self-esteem).
Many addicts and alcoholics I know are also codependent. And many codependents I know have used alcohol or drugs to relieve the pain of codependency.
Welcome to this site. Read some of the postings at the AA site and also at the Al-Anon or Nar-Anon sites. They will help you a little in identifying where you fit. You may fit none of them or you may fit some of them or you may fit all of them. It's a start.
Your post sounds like you are quite distressed right now, so I am also going to suggest that you call someone from one of the local groups in your area (AA, Al-ANon, Nar-Anon, CoDA)to talk to. If you can drum up some courage go to a meeting - they are your friends and will help you and not judge you. Those meetings saved my life.
Hope this helps a little, and again, welcome.
Hugs
Ann
I am a codependent and belong to a 12 step fellowship called CoDA (codependents anonymous). About half our fellowship are people who also belong to NA, AA, CA, etc.
Codependency is not just the other side of addiction, it is an unhealthy obsession of caring for others at the expense of caring for ourselves. (I have heard it refered to as "otheresteem" since we have no self-esteem).
Many addicts and alcoholics I know are also codependent. And many codependents I know have used alcohol or drugs to relieve the pain of codependency.
Welcome to this site. Read some of the postings at the AA site and also at the Al-Anon or Nar-Anon sites. They will help you a little in identifying where you fit. You may fit none of them or you may fit some of them or you may fit all of them. It's a start.
Your post sounds like you are quite distressed right now, so I am also going to suggest that you call someone from one of the local groups in your area (AA, Al-ANon, Nar-Anon, CoDA)to talk to. If you can drum up some courage go to a meeting - they are your friends and will help you and not judge you. Those meetings saved my life.
Hope this helps a little, and again, welcome.
Hugs
Ann
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Welcome,
When I arrived in the rooms of Al Anon it was my own reactions to what was going on around me that frightened me even more than the actions of the alcoholics in my life. I was acting crazy and doing much more to add to the problem that I so desparatly wanted to fix. And what I discovered was that my reactions were normal (allbeit extreme) and that my life was out of control. My inablity to control the uncontrollable was making me depressed, physically ill and yes a bit of a drunk. Why I am not an alcoholic I will never know..my reaction to being surrounded by the disease my entire life was to become a raging codependent.
None of us is very unique...we all have varying degrees of the same symptoms...and what you are discribing sounds like a codependents reaction to the situation you are living with.
Come back...maybe to the Al Anon or Nar Anon boards...or both...and you will find that we are all the same... we are there for each other and we will be there for you too!
Hugs,
JT
When I arrived in the rooms of Al Anon it was my own reactions to what was going on around me that frightened me even more than the actions of the alcoholics in my life. I was acting crazy and doing much more to add to the problem that I so desparatly wanted to fix. And what I discovered was that my reactions were normal (allbeit extreme) and that my life was out of control. My inablity to control the uncontrollable was making me depressed, physically ill and yes a bit of a drunk. Why I am not an alcoholic I will never know..my reaction to being surrounded by the disease my entire life was to become a raging codependent.
None of us is very unique...we all have varying degrees of the same symptoms...and what you are discribing sounds like a codependents reaction to the situation you are living with.
Come back...maybe to the Al Anon or Nar Anon boards...or both...and you will find that we are all the same... we are there for each other and we will be there for you too!
Hugs,
JT
Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Pasadena, CA United States
Posts: 18
Dorothy, have you checked out SMART Recovery? It has been used successfully by people to stop their destructive behaviors (and destructive thinking too!). Its basis is RET, rational emotive therapy. The premise is that our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us create our feelings and emotions, which effect our behaviors. By identifying and disputing our beliefs we try to adjust our emotions and the resulting behaviors.
www.smartrecovery.org
www.smartrecovery.org
Guest
Posts: n/a
Originally posted by Locoverde:
Dorothy, have you checked out SMART Recovery? It has been used successfully by people to stop their destructive behaviors (and destructive thinking too!). Its basis is RET, rational emotive therapy. The premise is that our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us create our feelings and emotions, which effect our behaviors. By identifying and disputing our beliefs we try to adjust our emotions and the resulting behaviors.
www.smartrecovery.org
Dorothy, have you checked out SMART Recovery? It has been used successfully by people to stop their destructive behaviors (and destructive thinking too!). Its basis is RET, rational emotive therapy. The premise is that our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us create our feelings and emotions, which effect our behaviors. By identifying and disputing our beliefs we try to adjust our emotions and the resulting behaviors.
www.smartrecovery.org
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