Dear Dorothy,
I am a codependent and belong to a 12 step fellowship called CoDA (codependents anonymous). About half our fellowship are people who also belong to NA, AA, CA, etc.
Codependency is not just the other side of addiction, it is an unhealthy obsession of caring for others at the expense of caring for ourselves. (I have heard it refered to as "otheresteem" since we have no self-esteem).
Many addicts and alcoholics I know are also codependent. And many codependents I know have used alcohol or drugs to relieve the pain of codependency.
Welcome to this site. Read some of the postings at the AA site and also at the Al-Anon or Nar-Anon sites. They will help you a little in identifying where you fit. You may fit none of them or you may fit some of them or you may fit all of them. It's a start.
Your post sounds like you are quite distressed right now, so I am also going to suggest that you call someone from one of the local groups in your area (AA, Al-ANon, Nar-Anon, CoDA)to talk to. If you can drum up some courage go to a meeting - they are your friends and will help you and not judge you. Those meetings saved my life.
Hope this helps a little, and again, welcome.
Hugs
Ann