d3T

Hi all. I had about 14 yrs of sobriey when I started drinking again about 1 1/2 yrs ago.

When I 1st got sober. I was young, newly married, newborn baby, wild, immature and directionless. In the beginning, I went to as many meetings as I could starting with 30 meetings in 30 days and eventually I settled on 1-2 regular meetings. I made many friends and my life gradually improved. Within a few years, I was in a management position at work and at 10 years I was the number 2 guy at my company. Life was good. At some point I stopped going to meetings but I had no desire to drink, I "knew better" Then it hit me. After a fight with my wife I started drinking again about 1 1/2 years ago. At first she tolerated it & we even drank together. I guess she wanted to believe as I did that somehow things would be different this time. She drew the line when I started drinking at the office with the guys & driving home. Many fights with her lecturing me about the dangers of driving & me promising not to do it. My 4 kids got to see me drunk, drunk & angry, drunk & fighting with the wife.

Well, last Friday I was pulled over & got a DUI. For those who have been through this you know what a nightmare it can be. It hasn't left my thoughts since and I am haunted by fear, remorse and shame. This is also a finacial burden that my family does not deserve. Aside from my little spree, I consider myself a family man. I would do anything for my wife & kids. It's pretty clear now that this is the direction I was going in. Even though I knew it was wrong and dangerous I was making a habit of drinking & driving and putting all of the risks out of my mind.

At first my wife was furious but we salvaged the holiday and she has been very supportive. I have also received a lot of support from my boss & mates at work. The guys I work with have a lot of respect for me. It was only by my bad example that they drank at work to begin with. If I wouldn't have done it, they wouldn't have considered it. The drinking at the office has since stopped. I have hired an attorney and I'm ready to start going back to meetings.

I wish I didn't have to learn the hard way but in some way this is a relief. There is no doubt in my mind that had I taken a different route or sailed home without incident, I would have done it again and things could have been MUCH worse.

Anyhoo, that's where I'm at.

Sugasnaps

D3T... that took a lot of courage, I think, to type out. I'm really glad to hear you have come to your senses again and have gotten back on the perverbial "wagon". I'm also glad to hear your wife is still there for you. My Holiday wish for you will be that you don't berate yourself more than you already have... that you keep what you learned in your 14 years of sobriety and apply it to your new sobriety... and that you go to meetings and learn more about your new sobriety. I'm hella new at this so hearing your story really rings in my ears that sobriety is fragile and only one drink away from being drunk again - no matter how long it has been since your "last" drink.

Thank you for sharing your pain and your triumph that you have taken a turn for the better and are seeking out sobriety once again. That takes courage.

Suga

Sugah

I've heard your story repeated many times. I can't say I can relate to it personally because I had no real sobriety before this past few years, but I will tell you THANK YOU. I need to hear what happens when recovery takes a back seat. I also want to say WELCOME! KEEP COMING BACK!

Another story I've heard that starts out like yours is the lesson learned from a relapse like this...and the life that opens up once recovery is resumed.

You're very lucky to get out of it with a DUI. And, it's good you realize that it could have been much worse.

I used to go to Rainbow Gatherings, and they have a nice way of saying hello. I think it applies here.

WELCOME HOME!

Peace & Love,
Sugah

jpeace2

POWERFUL share, d3...thank you for being brave enough to share this with us. Definitely a good lesson to us newbies as to what can happen when we "relax" the vigilance with which we are chasing our early recovery. Prayers for you my friend.....and welcome back!

CarolD

Hello and thanks for sharing.

Blessings to you and your family

raerob

Isn't one of the definitions of insanity, "Doing the same thing, expecting different results"? No accident, too, that the step reads, "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." The Higher Power can appear in many different forms...the cop who gave you the dui surely was doing you a big favor!

One of the fellows at my home group used to tell a powerful story of having 15 years of sobriety...life was good...he was vacationing on an island beach and saw a waiter pass by with a tray of exotic drinks...one of them was "calling his name". Took him five years to get back to AA...in the meantime, he lost EVERYTHING he had gained during the 15 years of sobriety. Happy ending is that today he has over 25 years of sobriety!!!

Your powerful story is indeed another example of what can happen when we don't practice constant vigilance...thanks for sharing, both for the Newcomer and a reminder to the Oldtimer. May 2006 bring nothing but good things to you and your family!

CAPTAINZING2000

14 years


Thanks for coming in here and telling everyone.

We never get recovered. All we have is a daily reprieve from drinking.

I hope, this was a learning tool for you and you've learned from it.


You're telling your story was more powerful then any thing most of us could have said on here today

daydream

Dear d3T,
It happens to a lot of us, as you well know. I did the same thing you did after 6 years clean and it took me 2 years to make it back. Thought I had learned my lesson, but I had learned only part of it, because I did the same thing again after 3 years clean. This time I'm closing in on 5 years clean and I'm vigilant. I do a lot of things different this time, including telling everyone my detailed pattern that eventually convinces me I don't need meetings and giving permission for everyone who knows me to get on my case if they see me back in that pattern. This time around, I've had a whole new level of honesty, surrender and commitment to the program. So far it's paying huge dividends. Welcome home again!

Sheryl85

“But for the grace of God go I.”

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I experienced something similar at year 13 and although I didn't go back out, I keep trying to use the horrible experience for the good of others. I don’t care if I have to tell it 100 more times and folks get tired of it. It needs to be told just like you need to tell and retell your experience. If it saves one person from the same fate, then so be it. At least the experience and the pain we endured will not be in vain,

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Thank you for sharing. God bless you and yours.

squirrelly77

Thanks for sharing your story. Now you've established where you're at, what do you plan on doing differently this time?

Welcome to Sober Recovery, BTW. I hope you decided to stick around and share some of your ESH with us! Happy to have you here!


Danielle

Justme57

D3T

Thank you for sharing your story , I have a friend in AA who is just back after a 5 month spree after 16 years of Sobriety,she also had dropped off meetings, and was isolating from her AA friends, you and she have a lesson to teach us.

I am glad you have found your way back, I have heard it said in the rooms that the doors are always open, but they can get narrower.

Welcome back

HUGX
Lee

KelKel

(((D3T)))
Welcome Aboard... Glad you made it back!
It will be really nice having you around here.

hopealwayz

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad that you made it back.
It is wonderful that you are being given another chance.
Your story has helped to open my eyes today. Thank you.

d3T

Thanks all for the feedback & the warm welcome. I expected nothing less. This experience has settled any doubt that I developed either by not going to meetings or being sober for a length of time. Drinking just isn't for me. I did my best to "contol" it but it's true that this disease progresses. Hard liquer was never my thing when I was younger...maybe occasionally but mostly beer. This time, I developed a "liking" for shots & Jack Daniels was my choice. Some Cinnamony crap with gold flakes in it + beer did me in I plan on finding some meetings locally and getting into some sort of regular schedule & getting a sponsor & take it from there.

roses2005

Hey d3,
Sorry to hear about your mishap.
You know, when something like this would happen to me, I USED to get on the pity pot, crawl into my hole, and stay there feeling sorry for myself, when the bottom line was I DID IT MYSELF. You are so fortunate to be alive and to have the support you need to get through this. It is traumatizing I know, ive been there. D, it looks to me that god did for you, what you couldnt do for yourself and that is open your eyes to the damage your addiction was actually doing. I know Im not telling you anything that you dont allready know. Im just glad your still with us, and I hope your 2006 year stars off better then your 2005 year ended. Good luck!! AND HAVE A SAFE NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! Jennifer ((( roses2005 )))

1Marty

Thanks so much for that. I need to hear that myself. I have noticed that AA has slowley started to shift to the back burner in my life. I noticed myself taking my sobriety lightly and for granted theese days. Today new years eve, I had some cravings come on. Luckily I knew what was good for me and got out to a meeting. But I know if I don't make the program a priority, the day will come when I do pick up that drink. Great to hear your story.

dizzy11523

Be thankful you didn't kill anyone. I lost my car when I got my DUI about 2 years ago. I'm thankful thats all that was lost. I had a friend who killed someone in a DUI last year. Then a couple months later, another friend was killed by a drunk driver. It really made me feel so ashamed.

REZ

Thanks for sharing your story. I have been sober 21 years and I must admit that sometimes I think I could handle a glass of wine every now and then--that's my sick my mind. If I get honest with myself, I know where that 1 glass of wine would lead: to 1000 or more more. One is too many and a thousand is never enough. You hear that all the time at AA/NA meetings, which is where I go on a regular basis. Hope you get back to meetings. 90 meetings in 90 days would be a good idea!

d3T

Hi all. I dug up this old post to give an update. Since Dec '05, the DUI is pretty much behind me and I was fortunate to get supervision. As of Monday of this week, I've been working on my 2nd DUI and toying with alcohol thinking somehow things would be different. I mostly drink because I am depressed about my relationship with my wife and feeling sorry for myself because things are not as good as they could be at home. Of course the drinking doesn't help at home or in my thinking so it's a vicious circle.

Our last fight was on Monday. She is probably more upset knowing that I drank & drove again. I am praying that this is not the end of our marriage. I am going to see our marriage counselor today (alone) and I'll be attending my 1st meeting tonight

Smyle

glad your back....

and glad you are getting back into AA....

good luck