Day 58
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Join Date: Nov 2022
Posts: 120
Day 58
I don't really feel like I've got that much to say but I always find it beneficial to post on here and it keeps me in the right frame of mind.
I read here every day and most days there's something that resonates strongly with me and helps to strengthen my commitment to recovery. I know I don't interact enough on here but I just want to say how much I appreciate this place and everyone here!
So, day 58. The last 58 days have been up and down, I'm realising how emotionally sensitive I am but I'm also starting to realise that how I react to things is actually in my control. In the past I've always felt like a passenger in my life, just hanging on for the ride, but I'm starting to realise that without my escape hatch (alcohol) I actually might learn how to deal with things properly and start to choose how my life looks rather than just being at the mercy of my fragility and addiction. I suppose I'm starting to think that one day I might actually be able to trust myself to look after myself. This is something I've never been able to do, I've always been my own worst enemy. It has always felt like my addictions were far stronger than I am. Materially I've always been ok, but it's the emotional/spiritual side of me that has always been in turmoil.
There are a lot of things that need improvement in my life but right now, I've got my sobriety, and as a catalyst for improvement, that's all I need 🙂
I read here every day and most days there's something that resonates strongly with me and helps to strengthen my commitment to recovery. I know I don't interact enough on here but I just want to say how much I appreciate this place and everyone here!
So, day 58. The last 58 days have been up and down, I'm realising how emotionally sensitive I am but I'm also starting to realise that how I react to things is actually in my control. In the past I've always felt like a passenger in my life, just hanging on for the ride, but I'm starting to realise that without my escape hatch (alcohol) I actually might learn how to deal with things properly and start to choose how my life looks rather than just being at the mercy of my fragility and addiction. I suppose I'm starting to think that one day I might actually be able to trust myself to look after myself. This is something I've never been able to do, I've always been my own worst enemy. It has always felt like my addictions were far stronger than I am. Materially I've always been ok, but it's the emotional/spiritual side of me that has always been in turmoil.
There are a lot of things that need improvement in my life but right now, I've got my sobriety, and as a catalyst for improvement, that's all I need 🙂
Member
Join Date: Sep 2023
Posts: 520
Your doing brilliant Toddy. I'm a bit further on than you and have had to face a few situations where I would of previously put my head in the sand and drank. It's a weird sensation when your faced with a situation that you'd normally turn to drink to deal with. It's a case of deep breaths and really thinking how would alcohol help me with this. It's a no brainer as we all know it will just shelve it and be right where you left it before you had a drink. Each time you face a situation you become stronger. I now feel a much more confident person generally and now have the clarity of actually dealing with the problem. It has helped me to re visit time from my childhood and past events that shaped me. Removing alcohol has helped me move on with my life instead of sitting in the past think oh whoa is me and dwelling on all the events you can't change. What you can do is change your future and really live your life. Who could want more.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,163
I'm realising how emotionally sensitive I am but I'm also starting to realise that how I react to things is actually in my control- toddy
BAM!
That realization right there helped me more than I can explain. I always blamed others, circumstances, the universe etc but once I realized all these things will happen no matter how I react and that I could react in a positive, healthy way and not the same destructive way I had been it changed everything.
Not always easy I admit but it's much easier than following the same destructive path I had been on.
Life is hard but it's so much harder when we are stuck in our old drunken ways.
BAM!
That realization right there helped me more than I can explain. I always blamed others, circumstances, the universe etc but once I realized all these things will happen no matter how I react and that I could react in a positive, healthy way and not the same destructive way I had been it changed everything.
Not always easy I admit but it's much easier than following the same destructive path I had been on.
Life is hard but it's so much harder when we are stuck in our old drunken ways.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2022
Posts: 120
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Sounds like you're on a good road Toddy.
Some people use the place a lot, others less so - as long as it's helping your recovery, just keep on using it
D
Some people use the place a lot, others less so - as long as it's helping your recovery, just keep on using it
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2022
Posts: 120
Originally Posted by Gymbunny7
Your doing brilliant Toddy. I'm a bit further on than you and have had to face a few situations where I would of previously put my head in the sand and drank. It's a weird sensation when your faced with a situation that you'd normally turn to drink to deal with. It's a case of deep breaths and really thinking how would alcohol help me with this. It's a no brainer as we all know it will just shelve it and be right where you left it before you had a drink. Each time you face a situation you become stronger. I now feel a much more confident person generally and now have the clarity of actually dealing with the problem. It has helped me to re visit time from my childhood and past events that shaped me. Removing alcohol has helped me move on with my life instead of sitting in the past think oh whoa is me and dwelling on all the events you can't change. What you can do is change your future and really live your life. Who could want more.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2022
Posts: 120
Originally Posted by fishkiller
I'm realising how emotionally sensitive I am but I'm also starting to realise that how I react to things is actually in my control- toddy
BAM!
That realization right there helped me more than I can explain. I always blamed others, circumstances, the universe etc but once I realized all these things will happen no matter how I react and that I could react in a positive, healthy way and not the same destructive way I had been it changed everything.
Not always easy I admit but it's much easier than following the same destructive path I had been on.
Life is hard but it's so much harder when we are stuck in our old drunken ways.
BAM!
That realization right there helped me more than I can explain. I always blamed others, circumstances, the universe etc but once I realized all these things will happen no matter how I react and that I could react in a positive, healthy way and not the same destructive way I had been it changed everything.
Not always easy I admit but it's much easier than following the same destructive path I had been on.
Life is hard but it's so much harder when we are stuck in our old drunken ways.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2023
Posts: 520
Hi Toddy we have all done the vicious loop drinking cycle. We kind of get brainwashed into thinking drinking is helping but in reality it actually causes the problems. When you step away from alcohol and start to see life differently and start handling situations you've drunk through previously you really begin to see the cycle you were in. It's a negative cycle one negative action leads to the next and it repeats. I have seriously been amazed at the amount of crap in my life drinking caused it definitely isn't a comfort blanket 🙃 your doing great just keep doing it.
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Join Date: Nov 2023
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 911
Originally Posted by Toddy
I'm realising how emotionally sensitive I am but I'm also starting to realise that how I react to things is actually in my control. In the past I've always felt like a passenger in my life, just hanging on for the ride, but I'm starting to realise that without my escape hatch (alcohol) I actually might learn how to deal with things properly and start to choose how my life looks rather than just being at the mercy of my fragility and addiction.
Also, I’m planning to do a post on this issue of being sensitive in booze land. I have also noticed that a lot. And other peeps on here have noted it too, so there must be some link… maybe a causation or just a correlation, who knows. But it’s a thing.
So glad you’re posting Toddy, keep it up!
xxx
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,612
You have a lot to say Toddy.
As KneePads pointed out; feeling like a passenger, bystander is true, for me too. True for a lot of us.
No more for me either!
You started a great thread Toddy. I relate to so much of what you have to say.
Congrats on 58 days.
As KneePads pointed out; feeling like a passenger, bystander is true, for me too. True for a lot of us.
No more for me either!
You started a great thread Toddy. I relate to so much of what you have to say.
Congrats on 58 days.
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