Labels
Yield beautiful changes
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,699
Labels
Language allows us to understand one another. We give people with common characteristics a specific title in order to condense a complicated understanding into a simple word/words. But even those with common characteristics will vary in their expression of those characteristics. There are shades to experience that aren't well captured by labels.
Whether you consider yourself:
1.) an addict
2.) a binge drinker,
3.) someone who "self medicates",
4.) an alcoholic,
5.) a problem drinker,
6.) "sober curious", etc...
will largely depend on your past personal experiences with others who wrestled with substance use/abuse.
I struggled with the "addict/alcoholic" label for a while because my past experiences with alcoholism and drug addiction showed them to be an ALL-CONSUMING struggle. Day and night. Constant misery and solitude. In my mind, alcoholics and addicts traded health, family, work, finances, and self-esteem for drink. Alcoholics lost everything. So, if I still had pleasant, loving relationships or productive employment, I couldn't be an addict/alcoholic. Right??Right?? Wrong.
Now I see that anyone who struggles (privately or publicly) with a substance has, for whatever reasons (genetic, environmental, medical???), taken a seat on a train bound for LOSS. Destination: misery, insanity, death.
No matter what you label yourself, if you don't get off the damn train, you are headed in the wrong direction.
I wish I had gotten out of my seat as soon as I saw the destination printed on my ticket. That would have been wise. But I didn't. I had to get a bit closer to the LOSS before I could muster up the courage to change.
Some struggling folks jump off that terrible train WAY before the fiery explosion. Good for them!!! I'm grateful that they have saved themselves from suffering. Their ability to push through the trouble/discomfort in order to build a more meaningful life is admirable, maybe even enviable. But their resolve and action doesn't negate their problem. Someone else's early success doesn't mean that they didn't STRUGGLE.
There are also folks who have been sitting in their seat on the crazy train for so long that they have practically super-glued themselves in place. For them, it is incredibly difficult to get off. Their losses are huge, but they are trapped. This, too, can be overcome, but not without intense commitment.
I find it very useful to listen to these "super-glue" alcoholics who've managed to bail out. They are an inspiration, and their stories remind me that there is always hope. In my AA group these " real alcoholics" hope that newcomers jump off the train early. They want me to succeed. They do not want me to get comfy in my seat and suffer in the same way that they did.
Suffering is not a competition where the "winner" gets a bright, shiny label.
SR is a great place to root for others' early success and empathize with those who struggle and relapse. We cheer each other on. Hopefully, this forum helps others learn from my mistakes, as that makes me feel purposeful and put to good use. That aids in my recovery.
Call yourself whatever you like. If you have a substance problem, this forum is the right place for you!
I'm so glad that you all are here!
-TC
Whether you consider yourself:
1.) an addict
2.) a binge drinker,
3.) someone who "self medicates",
4.) an alcoholic,
5.) a problem drinker,
6.) "sober curious", etc...
will largely depend on your past personal experiences with others who wrestled with substance use/abuse.
I struggled with the "addict/alcoholic" label for a while because my past experiences with alcoholism and drug addiction showed them to be an ALL-CONSUMING struggle. Day and night. Constant misery and solitude. In my mind, alcoholics and addicts traded health, family, work, finances, and self-esteem for drink. Alcoholics lost everything. So, if I still had pleasant, loving relationships or productive employment, I couldn't be an addict/alcoholic. Right??Right?? Wrong.
Now I see that anyone who struggles (privately or publicly) with a substance has, for whatever reasons (genetic, environmental, medical???), taken a seat on a train bound for LOSS. Destination: misery, insanity, death.
No matter what you label yourself, if you don't get off the damn train, you are headed in the wrong direction.
I wish I had gotten out of my seat as soon as I saw the destination printed on my ticket. That would have been wise. But I didn't. I had to get a bit closer to the LOSS before I could muster up the courage to change.
Some struggling folks jump off that terrible train WAY before the fiery explosion. Good for them!!! I'm grateful that they have saved themselves from suffering. Their ability to push through the trouble/discomfort in order to build a more meaningful life is admirable, maybe even enviable. But their resolve and action doesn't negate their problem. Someone else's early success doesn't mean that they didn't STRUGGLE.
There are also folks who have been sitting in their seat on the crazy train for so long that they have practically super-glued themselves in place. For them, it is incredibly difficult to get off. Their losses are huge, but they are trapped. This, too, can be overcome, but not without intense commitment.
I find it very useful to listen to these "super-glue" alcoholics who've managed to bail out. They are an inspiration, and their stories remind me that there is always hope. In my AA group these " real alcoholics" hope that newcomers jump off the train early. They want me to succeed. They do not want me to get comfy in my seat and suffer in the same way that they did.
Suffering is not a competition where the "winner" gets a bright, shiny label.
SR is a great place to root for others' early success and empathize with those who struggle and relapse. We cheer each other on. Hopefully, this forum helps others learn from my mistakes, as that makes me feel purposeful and put to good use. That aids in my recovery.
Call yourself whatever you like. If you have a substance problem, this forum is the right place for you!
I'm so glad that you all are here!
-TC
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 278
Thanks for posting. I think that's very helpful.
Here's something that's totally label-free: "If you would like to be drinking less alcohol than you do, but have had some trouble making that change happen, then you might find it helpful to take some tools from the recovery toolkit."
Where the 'recovery toolkit' is the collection of all the good stuff, including community, that helps people make the change they want to make.
Here's something that's totally label-free: "If you would like to be drinking less alcohol than you do, but have had some trouble making that change happen, then you might find it helpful to take some tools from the recovery toolkit."
Where the 'recovery toolkit' is the collection of all the good stuff, including community, that helps people make the change they want to make.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,982
Thank you, TC. The stigma of a 'label' can keep people out of recovery.
https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-e...related-stigma
https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-e...related-stigma
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,426
Interesting and helpful way of looking at it.
Especially in sobriety, I'm less and less a fan of labels. Be it race, religion, a geographic label, political, where a person went to school, a handicap or mental condition, or whatever. People are certainly influenced by these things, but in most cases they have a choice of whether or not to be defined by them.
The label of "alcoholic" is different in that you can surround yourself with other alcoholics, and engage in alcoholic behavior every day, but never admit that you are one. I would never admit that it was a problem, and still struggled with admitting it even at the end.
SR certainly is a great place, made special by the things shared by every single person.
Especially in sobriety, I'm less and less a fan of labels. Be it race, religion, a geographic label, political, where a person went to school, a handicap or mental condition, or whatever. People are certainly influenced by these things, but in most cases they have a choice of whether or not to be defined by them.
The label of "alcoholic" is different in that you can surround yourself with other alcoholics, and engage in alcoholic behavior every day, but never admit that you are one. I would never admit that it was a problem, and still struggled with admitting it even at the end.
SR certainly is a great place, made special by the things shared by every single person.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,172
Alcoholic is a loaded term that carries baggage. Some people have stated they are grateful to be alcoholics. I've heard people claim that, but I could never come close to relating to it. I didn't want to be an alcoholic, but at some point you need to admit that you are no longer in control of your own life. You can label that condition any way you want, but it is a condition you must come to terms with.
This thread is making me think of something in a different light. Before I quit, I knew I had a problem, but I may have focused too much on trying not to be an alcoholic. While that may have seemed like a step in the right direction at the time, it actually worked against me because "trying not to be an alcoholic" in my case was just another way of "learning how to control my drinking." And like many of us here, I went to great lengths for many years, "trying not to be an alcoholic" without realizing the futility of that approach.
Being an alcoholic in recovery (or recovered if you prefer) is not as offensive to me. But being just a plain ole' alcoholic is an ugly business. Call it just a meaningless label, but it is still an ugly business, and it represented a low point in my life that was not just some transient point in time. It lasted for years slowly dragging me deeper and deeper into despair.
I can't overlook that label, or whitewash it. Things are what they are no matter what label you use to describe them, but to recover, I had to come to terms with the situation. And most of all I needed information and knowledge that led to the solution. You may be an alcoholic, but the key for me was to stop acting like one, and it's a simple key, just stop drinking, and stop trying to prove you can drink like a gentleman.
This thread is making me think of something in a different light. Before I quit, I knew I had a problem, but I may have focused too much on trying not to be an alcoholic. While that may have seemed like a step in the right direction at the time, it actually worked against me because "trying not to be an alcoholic" in my case was just another way of "learning how to control my drinking." And like many of us here, I went to great lengths for many years, "trying not to be an alcoholic" without realizing the futility of that approach.
Being an alcoholic in recovery (or recovered if you prefer) is not as offensive to me. But being just a plain ole' alcoholic is an ugly business. Call it just a meaningless label, but it is still an ugly business, and it represented a low point in my life that was not just some transient point in time. It lasted for years slowly dragging me deeper and deeper into despair.
I can't overlook that label, or whitewash it. Things are what they are no matter what label you use to describe them, but to recover, I had to come to terms with the situation. And most of all I needed information and knowledge that led to the solution. You may be an alcoholic, but the key for me was to stop acting like one, and it's a simple key, just stop drinking, and stop trying to prove you can drink like a gentleman.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,955
Another recycled story (sorry). It would be comical if it wasn’t so scary.
The UK government recommends no more than 14 units of alcohol a week (for normies). A unit is about one small beer. There is some rationale for this number based on rates of cancers, but a lot of people are sceptical and thinks it’s arbitrary. Anyway, an acquaintance used to drink very heavily so invented a (very flawed) system where he buys his 14 units at the start of the week and (usually) doesn’t buy any more. On day 1, he’ll have a couple of units and maybe 3 on day 2. By day 4, you guessed it, he’s run out. To his credit, he usually goes drink free on days 5, 6 and 7, but he literally sits on his hands, a wreck.
He probably drinks less than 75% of the adult population, but his is just about the worst drink problem I’ve seen. He is a total slave to alcohol. His GABA receptors in his brain are as affected as mine or someone who’s drunk a bucket of ethanol a day for decades. I don’t think this guy needs a label, but he sure has a problem despite drinking a small weekly amount.
The UK government recommends no more than 14 units of alcohol a week (for normies). A unit is about one small beer. There is some rationale for this number based on rates of cancers, but a lot of people are sceptical and thinks it’s arbitrary. Anyway, an acquaintance used to drink very heavily so invented a (very flawed) system where he buys his 14 units at the start of the week and (usually) doesn’t buy any more. On day 1, he’ll have a couple of units and maybe 3 on day 2. By day 4, you guessed it, he’s run out. To his credit, he usually goes drink free on days 5, 6 and 7, but he literally sits on his hands, a wreck.
He probably drinks less than 75% of the adult population, but his is just about the worst drink problem I’ve seen. He is a total slave to alcohol. His GABA receptors in his brain are as affected as mine or someone who’s drunk a bucket of ethanol a day for decades. I don’t think this guy needs a label, but he sure has a problem despite drinking a small weekly amount.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2022
Posts: 274
Hi,
I've lectured in Sociology for Leeds University and labelling theory was a central theme. I taught this topis during the first year of the BA Hons Degree in prisons.
Labelling theory is closely linked with the notion of a "Self fulfilling prophecy," In other words, individuals live up to how people see them. The problem is when the label becomes a "Master status". For eg if "Alcoholic" becomes your master status it over rides all other stautus' you may have ie husband, wife, teacher, brother, doctor etc. People don't see you beyond being an alcoholic. It defines who you are in the eyes of others.
It's particulatly true for offenders when they are labelled as "Criminals." When this becomes their master status and a self fulfilling prophecy kicks in, they often become recidivists. Same for a lot of alcoholics with drinking and relapse. Inother words, "If that's how people view me, that's how I'll behave."
Labelling others, or yourself, can be dangerous.
I've lectured in Sociology for Leeds University and labelling theory was a central theme. I taught this topis during the first year of the BA Hons Degree in prisons.
Labelling theory is closely linked with the notion of a "Self fulfilling prophecy," In other words, individuals live up to how people see them. The problem is when the label becomes a "Master status". For eg if "Alcoholic" becomes your master status it over rides all other stautus' you may have ie husband, wife, teacher, brother, doctor etc. People don't see you beyond being an alcoholic. It defines who you are in the eyes of others.
It's particulatly true for offenders when they are labelled as "Criminals." When this becomes their master status and a self fulfilling prophecy kicks in, they often become recidivists. Same for a lot of alcoholics with drinking and relapse. Inother words, "If that's how people view me, that's how I'll behave."
Labelling others, or yourself, can be dangerous.
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