Language allows us to understand one another. We give people with common characteristics a specific title in order to condense a complicated understanding into a simple word/words. But even those with common characteristics will vary in their expression of those characteristics. There are shades to experience that aren't well captured by labels.
Whether you consider yourself:
1.) an addict
2.) a binge drinker,
3.) someone who "self medicates",
4.) an alcoholic,
5.) a problem drinker,
6.) "sober curious", etc...
will largely depend on your past personal experiences with others who wrestled with substance use/abuse.
I struggled with the "addict/alcoholic" label for a while because my past experiences with alcoholism and drug addiction showed them to be an ALL-CONSUMING struggle. Day and night. Constant misery and solitude. In my mind, alcoholics and addicts traded health, family, work, finances, and self-esteem for drink. Alcoholics lost everything. So, if I still had pleasant, loving relationships or productive employment, I couldn't be an addict/alcoholic. Right??Right?? Wrong.
Now I see that anyone who struggles (privately or publicly) with a substance has, for whatever reasons (genetic, environmental, medical???), taken a seat on a train bound for LOSS. Destination: misery, insanity, death.
No matter what you label yourself, if you don't get off the damn train, you are headed in the wrong direction.
I wish I had gotten out of my seat as soon as I saw the destination printed on my ticket. That would have been wise. But I didn't. I had to get a bit closer to the LOSS before I could muster up the courage to change.
Some struggling folks jump off that terrible train WAY before the fiery explosion. Good for them!!! I'm grateful that they have saved themselves from suffering. Their ability to push through the trouble/discomfort in order to build a more meaningful life is admirable, maybe even enviable. But their resolve and action doesn't negate their problem. Someone else's early success doesn't mean that they didn't STRUGGLE.
There are also folks who have been sitting in their seat on the crazy train for so long that they have practically super-glued themselves in place. For them, it is incredibly difficult to get off. Their losses are huge, but they are trapped. This, too, can be overcome, but not without intense commitment.
I find it very useful to listen to these "super-glue" alcoholics who've managed to bail out. They are an inspiration, and their stories remind me that there is always hope. In my AA group these " real alcoholics" hope that newcomers jump off the train early. They want me to succeed. They do not want me to get comfy in my seat and suffer in the same way that they did.
Suffering is not a competition where the "winner" gets a bright, shiny label.
SR is a great place to root for others' early success and empathize with those who struggle and relapse. We cheer each other on. Hopefully, this forum helps others learn from my mistakes, as that makes me feel purposeful and put to good use. That aids in my recovery.
Call yourself whatever you like. If you have a substance problem, this forum is the right place for you!
I'm so glad that you all are here!
-TC