first day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Valdosta, Georgia
Posts: 43
first day
I am new to this forum. I have a drinking problem that has lost me my daughter last week. She moved in with her dad because of my drinking. Now my drinking is worse. I have drank everyday just about after she left. I use to have hangovers and not drink that day but the next day I would start drinking around 12 or 1 in the afternoon and drink ontill the late night. I cry everyday because I miss my daughter and feel like I have lost her for good. Now I am drinking everyday and I am scared. I don't want to be known as the drunk I do alot of things in my communtiy. I don't know what to do. I have tried to quit before but I have very bad anxiety that takes over me. I feel better when I take a drink and then I can't stop. I live in a small town and aa meeting are at least 30 miles away and they are at times that is very hard for me to attend. I just need some help of some kind. I don't think I am so bad that I need a dr but I don't know. I hate the anixety I feel. Please I need help. Thank you
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Dubh Linn - Ireland
Posts: 455
Dear Saac,
There is a difference between being alone and solitude. I am sooo sorry your daughter is gone.....but perhaps this is the opportunity you have needed to sort yourself out???? Everything happens for a reason. We can make the best or worst of it you see. Drinking is the worst and you now know that as I do too.
Your meetings are far away but if when you can go you get numbers from members or share and ask is anyone closer???? You have to want to do this - Sobriey is YOUR CHOICE as it is mine. It is only achieveable One Day At A Time but it is ACHIEVEABLE.....you will know this already from the meetings that you have attended and the posts you have read here.
Yes you will have a detox - and it may not be nice but your drinking isnt either by the sounds of it. The detox will lead you to Sober and that head can then embrace and work on Recovery.....for me the AA 12 Step programme and many others sober too.
I am on Day 19 today - not feeling too good at realities hit me like thunder and lightening every few minutes it seems. But I have 5 children - and whereas I am down today, they are not suffering my drinking and that is my gift to them for today.
Give yourself the gift of sobriety and to your daughter whom I am sure you love very much too. It will take time but it is sooo much better than the place you are in now......
Hope this is of some help......Luvs & Gentle Recovery......Ama
There is a difference between being alone and solitude. I am sooo sorry your daughter is gone.....but perhaps this is the opportunity you have needed to sort yourself out???? Everything happens for a reason. We can make the best or worst of it you see. Drinking is the worst and you now know that as I do too.
Your meetings are far away but if when you can go you get numbers from members or share and ask is anyone closer???? You have to want to do this - Sobriey is YOUR CHOICE as it is mine. It is only achieveable One Day At A Time but it is ACHIEVEABLE.....you will know this already from the meetings that you have attended and the posts you have read here.
Yes you will have a detox - and it may not be nice but your drinking isnt either by the sounds of it. The detox will lead you to Sober and that head can then embrace and work on Recovery.....for me the AA 12 Step programme and many others sober too.
I am on Day 19 today - not feeling too good at realities hit me like thunder and lightening every few minutes it seems. But I have 5 children - and whereas I am down today, they are not suffering my drinking and that is my gift to them for today.
Give yourself the gift of sobriety and to your daughter whom I am sure you love very much too. It will take time but it is sooo much better than the place you are in now......
Hope this is of some help......Luvs & Gentle Recovery......Ama
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Welcome.
Nothing is really lost here, as long as your desire for sobriety has been ignited.
We all get there different ways, along different avenues. Sometimes painfully so.
About the time and distance you would encounter for meetings...
Ask yourself this question.
How far would you be ready to travel to get the alcohol you've been drinking?
I have stories about the trouble I went through to get booze that I still have trouble believing. But I have to, 'cause I was there.
You don't have to drink today.
Only today is what matters. We get sober before we think of anything else.
Even how much we miss our children.
Glad you're here.
Nothing is really lost here, as long as your desire for sobriety has been ignited.
We all get there different ways, along different avenues. Sometimes painfully so.
About the time and distance you would encounter for meetings...
Ask yourself this question.
How far would you be ready to travel to get the alcohol you've been drinking?
I have stories about the trouble I went through to get booze that I still have trouble believing. But I have to, 'cause I was there.
You don't have to drink today.
Only today is what matters. We get sober before we think of anything else.
Even how much we miss our children.
Glad you're here.
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
saac -
I am sorry that your daughter has moved out, the pain must be horrible. But give yourself credit for reaching out and coming here.
I am a 12 step program thumper, but I understand that everyone does not need 12 step to get sober. You can do this.
Call your dr today, reach out for help. We all need support. If you are in a small town and 30 miles is too far to go, get help from your dr.
And again, be proud of yourself for reaching out for help here.
I am sorry that your daughter has moved out, the pain must be horrible. But give yourself credit for reaching out and coming here.
I am a 12 step program thumper, but I understand that everyone does not need 12 step to get sober. You can do this.
Call your dr today, reach out for help. We all need support. If you are in a small town and 30 miles is too far to go, get help from your dr.
And again, be proud of yourself for reaching out for help here.
Hello! Is this seat taken??
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: A Denver far far away...
Posts: 92
Welcome!
Saac - welcome to SR and you're on the right path if you want something to change. I too lost my daughter over drinking and today she lives with me again. I've enjoyed her and my life WAY more in sobriety than I ever did while drunk. I say this to pass on hope... the fact that my daughter is with me today is just a benefit of my sobriety today. And I'll admit - loosing her was the reason I walked into a meeting a few years ago. But I got sober and stayed sober for me - and that was the crucial part. My daughter in my life is just a small token (albiet a very nice one) of the great life I have today and it's something you can experience too. It's won't be fun - but it IS simple (we as drunks just over complicate things).
So have Hope!! There IS a solution! One can be alone in a small town just as easily as in a big city - so get connected with someone who understands if you can. Person to person recovery is important! You say you do lots of service work and that's good - but don't do it to hide from your depression or anxiety. Catch a meeting as often as you can - and start a new life!! We'll be cheering for you all the way!
hugz and good luck!
pad
So have Hope!! There IS a solution! One can be alone in a small town just as easily as in a big city - so get connected with someone who understands if you can. Person to person recovery is important! You say you do lots of service work and that's good - but don't do it to hide from your depression or anxiety. Catch a meeting as often as you can - and start a new life!! We'll be cheering for you all the way!
hugz and good luck!
pad
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Valdosta, Georgia
Posts: 43
Thank you for your words of wisdom. I have a long way to go but I am so glad I found this site. I want to quite drinking this I know today. I will look for closer meetings or you are right I will go as far as I need to.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Valdosta, Georgia
Posts: 43
I also want to ask. The worst thing of being sobar is the bordem and anixety. How do you deal with the time you have sober. What have any of you guys done in the bad times when you are alone and scared and bored and it is so easy to go to the store and get something to drink? How do you deal with your drinking friends? I have not lived sober in years and that scares me to death. I am scared of feelings that I will have to deal with. I am sorry I am rambling I just have so many questions. I do appreciate all your thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Oh, please don't apologize for anything.
We're all here to help and be helped, in one way or another.
It was a big adjustment at first, to find things to occupy my time. The people I met at meetings told me that I needed to get busy, and to avoid spending too much time alone, thinking.
What we're trying to do, when we first get sober, is change the way we look at our immediate surroundings and circumstances. And that wasn't easy for me. Reminders of my past and bad choices and behaviors were everywhere.
So I stuck real close to the new friends I found in AA.
I know, it sounds like I'm pushing AA on you, but I'm really not.
I'm just trying to let you know that I was able to find stuff to do, and with the help of these people, I was able to learn how to cope better with the boredom, the anxiety, the fears. All these feelings and emotions are normal to the newly sober. More so I think.
But before I knew it, I started smiling again.
And bit by bit, little by little, I started believing that I was going to be a happy person again. And I'm getting there.
The worst days I have now, being sober, are still a huge blessing, compared to the best days I had when I was loaded.
There's just no comparison.
All this joy, in much less than a year.
There is much to be said about living sober.
And I find new things to do and to say every day.
I'm very grateful for the opportunity to share a little bit of my happiness with you saac.
Thank you.
We're all here to help and be helped, in one way or another.
It was a big adjustment at first, to find things to occupy my time. The people I met at meetings told me that I needed to get busy, and to avoid spending too much time alone, thinking.
What we're trying to do, when we first get sober, is change the way we look at our immediate surroundings and circumstances. And that wasn't easy for me. Reminders of my past and bad choices and behaviors were everywhere.
So I stuck real close to the new friends I found in AA.
I know, it sounds like I'm pushing AA on you, but I'm really not.
I'm just trying to let you know that I was able to find stuff to do, and with the help of these people, I was able to learn how to cope better with the boredom, the anxiety, the fears. All these feelings and emotions are normal to the newly sober. More so I think.
But before I knew it, I started smiling again.
And bit by bit, little by little, I started believing that I was going to be a happy person again. And I'm getting there.
The worst days I have now, being sober, are still a huge blessing, compared to the best days I had when I was loaded.
There's just no comparison.
All this joy, in much less than a year.
There is much to be said about living sober.
And I find new things to do and to say every day.
I'm very grateful for the opportunity to share a little bit of my happiness with you saac.
Thank you.
Hello! Is this seat taken??
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: A Denver far far away...
Posts: 92
Not a problem! Ask away!
This is what works for me - so take what you can and I hope some of it helps..
If I'm staring at 4 walls and pacing - I need to get out of my head and talk to someone - by phone or at a meeting. The anxiety and fear at start DOES go away in time - but that's by gaining confidence in myself and reaching out to friends. My sponsor wasn't the only one who got me sober.
When I'm alone - I distract myself with small hobbies or chores. Eating well and sleeping was the hardest thing at the start too - and something I had to make an effort to do. But it kept me away from the friends who drank - which is the ONE PLACE I HAD NO BUSINESS TO BE. I stress that - because this disease will say "naw, you're ok.." or something like that. There was a moment in my first few months I found myself holding a beer and was amazed how it got there for a moment - then I realized that I'd invited myself to a gathering just for the opportunity. Left just after that thank G*d! Hadn't talked to some of those people since. Changing playmates and playgrounds was tough - but I found newer and safer means of having fun.
I'm not sure what options you have in your town - but staying connected to someone is important - at least it was for me. Sobering up was pretty tramatic and thanks to friends I got to complain or cry or laugh and get through it without a drink.
hope it helps -
pad
This is what works for me - so take what you can and I hope some of it helps..
If I'm staring at 4 walls and pacing - I need to get out of my head and talk to someone - by phone or at a meeting. The anxiety and fear at start DOES go away in time - but that's by gaining confidence in myself and reaching out to friends. My sponsor wasn't the only one who got me sober.
When I'm alone - I distract myself with small hobbies or chores. Eating well and sleeping was the hardest thing at the start too - and something I had to make an effort to do. But it kept me away from the friends who drank - which is the ONE PLACE I HAD NO BUSINESS TO BE. I stress that - because this disease will say "naw, you're ok.." or something like that. There was a moment in my first few months I found myself holding a beer and was amazed how it got there for a moment - then I realized that I'd invited myself to a gathering just for the opportunity. Left just after that thank G*d! Hadn't talked to some of those people since. Changing playmates and playgrounds was tough - but I found newer and safer means of having fun.
I'm not sure what options you have in your town - but staying connected to someone is important - at least it was for me. Sobering up was pretty tramatic and thanks to friends I got to complain or cry or laugh and get through it without a drink.
hope it helps -
pad
new life
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: cypress tx
Posts: 247
Saac Hello! Whatever it takes: One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time! It took me about a month off drinking to say to myself "Oh no what have I done"! then realizing what is important! I started out with a heart to heart Dr. visit.
TC mikee
TC mikee
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Valdosta, Georgia
Posts: 43
Thank you so much for your answers. Today is my first day sober I have not even got through 24hours yet. You have already begun to help me. I will just keep posting questions and douts. I hope I can make it this time I really do.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
24 hours.
One at a time. You've got the idea now.
Staying plugged in to SoberRecovery saved my arse quite a few times.
Today might be no different. I need to hear you.
It's going to help me stay sober.
And a lot of other folks too.
One at a time. You've got the idea now.
Staying plugged in to SoberRecovery saved my arse quite a few times.
Today might be no different. I need to hear you.
It's going to help me stay sober.
And a lot of other folks too.
The Serenity Plus Plan
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: The Garden State
Posts: 157
Hello saac, and welcome!
This is what works for me. I'm between jobs right now so I do have alot of time on my hands. So what do I do?
I neglected to take care of myself physically for quite some time. So, I joined a gym and I go everyday. (I also changed my diet). I'm there for at least an hour to and hour and a half each day I go. I feel so much better! It did cost some money to join, but what I spent on alcohol, gym fees are nothing.
I used to write all the time and when I did, I felt so good about myself. Now I'm writing again. I try to do it at least an hour a day.
I'm also updating my computer skills: Microsoft Access, Excel, Word etc. You can get books at the library or just go online. That's another hour or more each day.
I'm also reading alot more than I used to. That's at least another hour.
I go to AA meetings and come here to Sober Recovery. Now that's a big part of my day!
I meditate each day - or most days in reality. That is such a huge help! Very relaxing!
I remember what it was like when I first stopped drinking. It wasn't easy. But I knew I had to keep busy.
Basically, find something you enjoy doing and do it. I wasn't very good to myself for such a long, long time. I found that taking care of myself took up alot of time. And it helped keep me sober.
I wish you the best, and remember, we know what you're going through and we're here for you.
Richard
This is what works for me. I'm between jobs right now so I do have alot of time on my hands. So what do I do?
I neglected to take care of myself physically for quite some time. So, I joined a gym and I go everyday. (I also changed my diet). I'm there for at least an hour to and hour and a half each day I go. I feel so much better! It did cost some money to join, but what I spent on alcohol, gym fees are nothing.
I used to write all the time and when I did, I felt so good about myself. Now I'm writing again. I try to do it at least an hour a day.
I'm also updating my computer skills: Microsoft Access, Excel, Word etc. You can get books at the library or just go online. That's another hour or more each day.
I'm also reading alot more than I used to. That's at least another hour.
I go to AA meetings and come here to Sober Recovery. Now that's a big part of my day!
I meditate each day - or most days in reality. That is such a huge help! Very relaxing!
I remember what it was like when I first stopped drinking. It wasn't easy. But I knew I had to keep busy.
Basically, find something you enjoy doing and do it. I wasn't very good to myself for such a long, long time. I found that taking care of myself took up alot of time. And it helped keep me sober.
I wish you the best, and remember, we know what you're going through and we're here for you.
Richard
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Valdosta, Georgia
Posts: 43
Those are very good ideas. I like to walk so I could walk ALOT. How long will I feel the anxiety and whatever else comes along with this awful feeling. I am so confused I am happy and relived. I am also scared to death and freaking out. This site is helping me out so much. All your help and ideas seems to calm me and I am so thankful for that.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Withdrawal from alcohol is never pleasant.
A lot of emotions. Here's a link to read up on it.
http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/withd.../aa000125a.htm
The good news is that we do get through it.
A lot of emotions. Here's a link to read up on it.
http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/withd.../aa000125a.htm
The good news is that we do get through it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Jasper, GA
Posts: 239
Hi saac, I'm Bob and I'm an alcoholic too...and also am from Valdosta, though I moved to North Georgia in 1985.
First, know that you are not alone. This board, like AA, is full of friends you just haven't met yet. Also, it is my belief that God is there with us all the time...sometimes we just aren't paying attention and don't notice.
Let's start with meetings around Valdosta...
Baytree Fellowship Group, Messiah Lutheran Church, 500 Bay Tree Rd, Valdosta, GA Open discussion meeting 8pm Thursday and Open speaker meeting 7pm Saturday
Bay Tree Happy Hour Group, 101 N Toombs St, Valdosta, GA time and meeting type unknown
Lunch Bunch Group, Episcopal Church, 101 E. Central Ave, Valdosta, GA Open discussion 12 noon on Thursdays
Northside Group, Christ Episcopal Church, 1521 North Patterson St, Valdosta, GA Open discussion Monday thru Saturday at Noon
Twin Lakes Group, Twin Lakes Presbeterian Church, 5361 Ponce de Leon Dr, Lake Park, GA Open discussion Tuesday and Friday at 8pm
Unity Group, 400 N St Augustine Rd, Valdosta, GA Open discussion Wednesday 8pm, Saturday 10pm, Sunday 3pm, Closed discussion Monday 8pm, Open speaker Friday 8pm
You can get additional information by calling the Georgia District 2 AA help number at 1-800-766-4653
This disease cannot be beaten as in "cured"...once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, or as a friend once put it, once a pickle never again a cucumber...but it can be put into remission, in my opinion, most effectively by joining AA, working (working, not reading) the 12 setps of AA, and paying particular attention to step three "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood Him".
Remember, you are never alone...He is always with you, and wishes to help you if you ask. That's all...sincerely, humbly ask and He will help. I don't promise that...He does.
BubbaBob
First, know that you are not alone. This board, like AA, is full of friends you just haven't met yet. Also, it is my belief that God is there with us all the time...sometimes we just aren't paying attention and don't notice.
Let's start with meetings around Valdosta...
Baytree Fellowship Group, Messiah Lutheran Church, 500 Bay Tree Rd, Valdosta, GA Open discussion meeting 8pm Thursday and Open speaker meeting 7pm Saturday
Bay Tree Happy Hour Group, 101 N Toombs St, Valdosta, GA time and meeting type unknown
Lunch Bunch Group, Episcopal Church, 101 E. Central Ave, Valdosta, GA Open discussion 12 noon on Thursdays
Northside Group, Christ Episcopal Church, 1521 North Patterson St, Valdosta, GA Open discussion Monday thru Saturday at Noon
Twin Lakes Group, Twin Lakes Presbeterian Church, 5361 Ponce de Leon Dr, Lake Park, GA Open discussion Tuesday and Friday at 8pm
Unity Group, 400 N St Augustine Rd, Valdosta, GA Open discussion Wednesday 8pm, Saturday 10pm, Sunday 3pm, Closed discussion Monday 8pm, Open speaker Friday 8pm
You can get additional information by calling the Georgia District 2 AA help number at 1-800-766-4653
This disease cannot be beaten as in "cured"...once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, or as a friend once put it, once a pickle never again a cucumber...but it can be put into remission, in my opinion, most effectively by joining AA, working (working, not reading) the 12 setps of AA, and paying particular attention to step three "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood Him".
Remember, you are never alone...He is always with you, and wishes to help you if you ask. That's all...sincerely, humbly ask and He will help. I don't promise that...He does.
BubbaBob
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Saac,
Been A Lot Of God Things Said Here. There Is No Quick Relief. That's Why So Many Quit But, The Rewards Of Staying Are Great. Bob Provided You With A List. I've Been Through Your Town Numerous Times. Lol Love Your Onions
Like You Said, Youcan Walk, You Don't Have The Snow Us Yankees Have. You'll Find That, Walking Will Help You. Eating 3 Meals A Day, Getting A Good Amount Of Sleep. By All Means Get To A Meeting. I Got Into Aa I Didn't Just Get Around Aa. I Try To Do As Much Service Work As Possible. You'll Find Helping Others Helps U. Stay Postin We Know How You Feel. We've All Been There
Chris
Been A Lot Of God Things Said Here. There Is No Quick Relief. That's Why So Many Quit But, The Rewards Of Staying Are Great. Bob Provided You With A List. I've Been Through Your Town Numerous Times. Lol Love Your Onions
Like You Said, Youcan Walk, You Don't Have The Snow Us Yankees Have. You'll Find That, Walking Will Help You. Eating 3 Meals A Day, Getting A Good Amount Of Sleep. By All Means Get To A Meeting. I Got Into Aa I Didn't Just Get Around Aa. I Try To Do As Much Service Work As Possible. You'll Find Helping Others Helps U. Stay Postin We Know How You Feel. We've All Been There
Chris
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
