Magnolia123

These things could easily lead me to drink.

How does one forgive themselves for all the stupid mistakes?

Mizz

Do the best you can until you know better.
When you know better, do better- Maya Angelou

I think we have to be the most compassionate towards ourselves. Treat yourself like you would a friend. Do not beat yourself up over mistakes. Every single person on the planet makes mistakes. We are human. Its okay to be human.

Change the channel in your brain to something that generates positivity. Keep changing the channel. A little self belief goes a long long way. Its true. You are doing this, Magnolia.

Nonsensical

The same way one holds a grudge against themself.

They make a choice.

Magnolia123

I really let myself down

Alpine

I did the same and have worked and am still working on moving forward. I can not change the past but I can make changes everyday no matter how big or small they are to being a better person for myself and for those around me. It has been hard work but worth it.

fishkiller

Acceptance
I did what I did and I can't change it. Can't change it, gotta accept it.

I now try to live a life where there are no regrets, no shameful occurrences etc.

That's what really matters. What I do Now

Radix

“When you have done something unforgivable, I'll tell you exactly what to do. You forgive yourself.” -- Dr. Maria Littauer, House of Games

Great film.

Worth a watch if you need something to do for two hours.

Dee74

I learned that I’d punished myself many many times over, much much too harshly, and it was time to stop.

I focus on today and the further as much as I can, and I try to be a good person living a good life.

The more I do that the less the past weighs on me.

D

Steely

And in the end it's a waste of time. It is impedes the living. The goal.

RunningScared

I agree with what others have said. I can't change the past. As for me, I don't think it's so much forgiving myself as it is accepting what I've done and trying to be a better person moving forward.

dustyfox

It's not easy to let go of guilt and shame but over time it is possible. To go on carrying a burden is to waste the life we have left. To live a better life, a kinder life, a more considerate life is to atone for the mistakes of the past and helps to set us free from the pain of guilt and shame.

Don't feel alone, it is a journey many of us here have, and are, travelling.

slimjim30

The first thing to do is stop drinking (if you haven't already). Then your list of regrets will stop growing.

Once you have enough time under your belt that people are starting to believe you've changed start making amends. I don't know what your regrets/shames are, but they can either be apologised for or forgotten.

Over time shame fades away UNLESS it's reinforced by new regrets/shame - Just my opinion.

DriGuy

Yes, this if often the case. Do it enough times and it becomes a habit, and you end up doing something self destructive for no other reason than you've turned a bad choice into a bad habit.

aasharon90

Just knowing that I never have to do any of those
things I use to do when under the influence ever
again is comforting to me.

It is a powerful lesson many of us have had to
learn in recovery in order to let got of the past,
ask for forgiveness and continue to grow healthy
in heart, mind and soul from it.

We don't have to live in the past but we can learn
from it.

BornToBeSober

I think you have to separate the sober you from the intoxicated you and realize you would never have done these things if you were sober. Addiction is a beast that had you for a while and maybe it still does to some extent. Due to your addiction, you got drunk and made some stupid decisions, but drunk you is not the real you. You were doing what the drug alcohol told you to do for most part. That type of thinking has always helped me forgive myself.

Look you made some mistakes. Everyone does, some make bigger ones than others. However, life goes on so you can sit and be mad at yourself all you want but world will continue to go on with or without you. You don't have time to waste so it's important you forgive yourself so you can live your life to the best of your ability.

MarkstheSpot

Over the least few years I developed the habit of letting out a small but audible cry of pain whenever I'm visited by a bad memory or a feeling of guilt and shame. People were always asking me what's wrong; my kids would say, 'Why do you keep making that noise?'

I still do it, but I do it much less in sobriety. Whereas the thoughts were once part of a continuum, now at least it feels as though I've drawn a line in the sand. I can think to myself that I said and did bad things but at least I've taken action.