Shel

SO now after only working for 3 weeks...he was told they no longer need him ...yet there is a new ad in the paper for doing HIS job!? Whom do I beleive......the man has had 6 other jobs in the last 2 years and there ALWAYS seems to be a reason (of course not his fault) that he is no longer employed!!! and now of course this is not his fault........My only respose was "maybe it has something to do with calling in at least 1 day each week"...he says nothing but insistist that it is not HIS fault! I am just disgusted...but even more so embarassed....my family and friends have given up but can't help but think of the fool they think I am for staying with a man like this ...I find it very hard to even give him respect because I fell like I am condoning his actions.......and I am NOT I can't stand that he cannot be responsible !

sorry had to vent.....I have no one to talk to for fear that I am the one that looks like a fool becaue I let him stay!

Petunia

Shel,

I am sorry that you are feeling so frustrated. It must suck to continue to be the responsible one and keep it all together. I would definitely be frustrated...what keeps you from setting some boundaries regarding the amount of money your partner contributes? If not money, than chores around the house? There's nothing that says you have to work and do all the chores by yourself.

If he did more around the house, would you feel better? I hope you find an acceptable middle ground for now. Until then, vent away and let it go. No need to grab it back once you've gotten it off your mind.

Peace,
Petunia

Shel

he does help around the house.....but then he feels I should be paying him to do things..never seems to be enough that he has a roof over his head and food in his mouth and cigs. Put it this way his last check I am sure is almost gone.....spent at the bar of course......came home by 830....I was putting the kids to bed and he proceeds to drink and pick a fight , so I went to bed.....next thing I know it is 3 am and someone is dropping him off .....I was livid....and of course doesn't go to work the next day!! SHOCK!
thanks~ the more I talk outloud the more I know what I need to do...........

minnie

Shel

He feels that you should pay him for doing things around the house?!! I think I might have heard it all now!!

Please look after yourself.

Love

Minnie
xxx

Shel

yes he used to watch the kids after he was "laid off" in June ....so he did the majority of the housework ......but he thought that since he watched th ekids I should pay him what I pay daycare (250.00) a week and then he would pay his share??? somehow this one never made sense to me ...I was already paying everything as it was (still am) plus she wanted me to pay him too!! I am still at work now and he has called me 3 times to see where I am ......VERY frustrating!!!
have a good night~

gelfling

This sounds just like my nieces husband. He's had over 8 jobs in the last 2 years, with various excuses why he quit. He's never fired. Of course, they're always wrong and he's been screwed or used or some other crappy excuse. He tried telling us about a guy who let him go and then we saw a sign posted outside the place looking for help.

We think he's out and out lazy. Our niece has a good job and benefits. Also, MIL and FIL will do anything for their daughter, etc. So he knows that they'll pay the bills if need be.

Unfortunately, niece is a little on the slow side. She doesn't see what's happening. No one has said anything to her about him and that includes her brothers.

I think the nephew is a real screw off and he angers me. He knows we know about him and his laziness, but he just sits there and gloats because he knows we wouldn't say anything to niece. Makes me want to slap him silly. So we don't go around them anymore.

Is the real issue for you the fact he can't hold a job or because you're worried what the family/friends will think of you for putting up with him. Work one thing out at a time. Things will look clearer.

Kathy