Stopping drinking after 25 years
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 2
Stopping drinking after 25 years
Not sure if this is the appropriate forum for this, but my wife felt a forum would be the right place to chronicle my progress. I have been a heavy drinker since I have been 25 and I am 50 now. I rotate between vodka and wine, I mostly consume at night but weekends its not unusual to day drink. I've made the decision to stop for a variety of reasons:
1) Physical concerns. While my blood work annually is generally fine, I know its just a matter of time when my liver is effected. Whether that's months or years away, I am sure I will be forced into quitting anyway. You just can't drink every day and not expect some type of negative physical outcome. Plus, I am convinced by high blood pressure controlled by medication is a derivative of alcohol.
2) Appearance. There are days I wake up and I just look like a drinker, especially the red cheeks. I remember Pat Summeral, the legendary NFL announcer with John Madden, he always had bright red cheeks, he was a closet alcoholic he revealed years after he quit, I wonder if people notice that about me
3) Young Family. Despite being 50, I have a young family and its completely unfair to them for Dad to be hungover and lethargic on a Saturday morning
4) Anxiety. I wake up in the middle of the night and have a hard time falling back to sleep, generally worrying about the things related to alcohol, especially wondering if I will be around for my kid's graduation at the rate I am going
5) Financial. I estimate I spend $20 a day on alcohol, I mean the wine I like is $16 a bottle. Mix in a couple vodka drinks and you are at $20. That is $7K a year, not to mention the stupid stuff I buy when buzzed. When I was at a hotel last week, I bought a bottle of wine which was $40, my chicken entre was $14. That is just insane
I spoke to my Doctor a couple days ago. Given my addiction, he recommended to taper for three days. I am on day #3 of the taper, I have about half a bottle of wine left which is a couple glasses. I am not sure I needed the taper, but I am going to follow his advice. I have had no withdraw symptoms but sleeping has been awful, I have been up to 3am in bed both nights with my mind racing, a lot of guilt on what I have missed over the years due to alcohol. I assume it will pass over time.
I'll update this thread a couple times a week for the foreseeable future to let everyone know of my progress
1) Physical concerns. While my blood work annually is generally fine, I know its just a matter of time when my liver is effected. Whether that's months or years away, I am sure I will be forced into quitting anyway. You just can't drink every day and not expect some type of negative physical outcome. Plus, I am convinced by high blood pressure controlled by medication is a derivative of alcohol.
2) Appearance. There are days I wake up and I just look like a drinker, especially the red cheeks. I remember Pat Summeral, the legendary NFL announcer with John Madden, he always had bright red cheeks, he was a closet alcoholic he revealed years after he quit, I wonder if people notice that about me
3) Young Family. Despite being 50, I have a young family and its completely unfair to them for Dad to be hungover and lethargic on a Saturday morning
4) Anxiety. I wake up in the middle of the night and have a hard time falling back to sleep, generally worrying about the things related to alcohol, especially wondering if I will be around for my kid's graduation at the rate I am going
5) Financial. I estimate I spend $20 a day on alcohol, I mean the wine I like is $16 a bottle. Mix in a couple vodka drinks and you are at $20. That is $7K a year, not to mention the stupid stuff I buy when buzzed. When I was at a hotel last week, I bought a bottle of wine which was $40, my chicken entre was $14. That is just insane
I spoke to my Doctor a couple days ago. Given my addiction, he recommended to taper for three days. I am on day #3 of the taper, I have about half a bottle of wine left which is a couple glasses. I am not sure I needed the taper, but I am going to follow his advice. I have had no withdraw symptoms but sleeping has been awful, I have been up to 3am in bed both nights with my mind racing, a lot of guilt on what I have missed over the years due to alcohol. I assume it will pass over time.
I'll update this thread a couple times a week for the foreseeable future to let everyone know of my progress
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 528
I have come to believe that there is a type of alcoholic who cannot stay sober without fully committing to the recovery program in Alcoholics Anonymous. I am one of those alcoholics. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat more about that.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 649
Welcome. I think your reasons are sound and you’re in a great headspace. If you’re like me, I think you’ll love sobriety. I have a young family, too, and it’s really nice to be able to do a campfire with friends on a Friday night and then easily do a zoo day with the kids early Saturday — feeling like a million dollars. Keep posting. This place has helped me a lot. And read up on AVRT and rational recovery strategies, they really helped me defeat cravings and identify when my mind was trying to convince me that a return to “moderate” drinking would be okay. Keep it up and congrats on making this decision, taking it seriously, and being honest with your doctor to boot. That’s a very good start.
you've come to a good place for support and ideas. I hope we can help you as much as this place has helped me.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,940
Welcome to SR!
I first quit at about your age. After nightly drinking for a number of years, I finally managed to quit at age 47. I didn't have a plan, other than a fear of losing stuff like my wife, my family, etc. because of my drinking. Somehow, I managed to stay sober for over 5 years.
After such a long time, I became complacent and thought that I was cured and that I could now successfully moderate my drinking. My moderation period lasted about a week, until I was right back to where I was before, only worse. I was in my early 50's and the hangovers and physical recovery were worse than I had ever experienced before. I struggled to stop for a year until the poop finally hit the fan and I ended up in the hospital for a few days for a medical detox. Again, I was at risk of losing so many things in my life that I valued.
Don't do what I did.
I found this website, finally gave up and tried AA and downloaded a bunch of recovery books from Amazon, among other things. In other words, I acted as if my life depended upon it, and it probably did. It worked.
I will be coming up on 12 years of sobriety in the spring, so I feel like I've made it this time. But I continue to guard against becoming complacent again.
I first quit at about your age. After nightly drinking for a number of years, I finally managed to quit at age 47. I didn't have a plan, other than a fear of losing stuff like my wife, my family, etc. because of my drinking. Somehow, I managed to stay sober for over 5 years.
After such a long time, I became complacent and thought that I was cured and that I could now successfully moderate my drinking. My moderation period lasted about a week, until I was right back to where I was before, only worse. I was in my early 50's and the hangovers and physical recovery were worse than I had ever experienced before. I struggled to stop for a year until the poop finally hit the fan and I ended up in the hospital for a few days for a medical detox. Again, I was at risk of losing so many things in my life that I valued.
Don't do what I did.
I found this website, finally gave up and tried AA and downloaded a bunch of recovery books from Amazon, among other things. In other words, I acted as if my life depended upon it, and it probably did. It worked.
I will be coming up on 12 years of sobriety in the spring, so I feel like I've made it this time. But I continue to guard against becoming complacent again.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,241
Recovery life straight ahead for ya. 
31 yrs ago when I began my own recovery journey in
life, folks with knowledge about addiction and recovery
had to teach me all about it.
All I knew at the time was that I enjoyed drinking wine
and knew drugs was dangerous. So, liquor was quick
and seemed to be safe for me.
Boy was I wrong. Alcohol dependency was destroying
everything inside me. Slowly to quickly poisoning me
with each sip I took and tried to control.
Absolutely no control over my addiction. It ran rapid
thru my life causing all kinds of problems.
Once the fog cleared from my distorted vision of what
I was seeing from what alcohol I was consuming, I began
to see clearly of the destruction of what my addiction was
doing to me and those around me.
Armed with knowledge of addiction and a program
of recovery that I could incorporate in all areas of
my life, the chains of addiction was broken and thus
allowed me to continue to listen and learn healthy
ways to live my life soberly and reap the rewards
of life moving forward.
Life in recovery is a journey and not a race. So, enjoy
the journey and all of life's gifts free from your own addiction.
31 yrs ago when I began my own recovery journey in
life, folks with knowledge about addiction and recovery
had to teach me all about it.
All I knew at the time was that I enjoyed drinking wine
and knew drugs was dangerous. So, liquor was quick
and seemed to be safe for me.
Boy was I wrong. Alcohol dependency was destroying
everything inside me. Slowly to quickly poisoning me
with each sip I took and tried to control.
Absolutely no control over my addiction. It ran rapid
thru my life causing all kinds of problems.
Once the fog cleared from my distorted vision of what
I was seeing from what alcohol I was consuming, I began
to see clearly of the destruction of what my addiction was
doing to me and those around me.
Armed with knowledge of addiction and a program
of recovery that I could incorporate in all areas of
my life, the chains of addiction was broken and thus
allowed me to continue to listen and learn healthy
ways to live my life soberly and reap the rewards
of life moving forward.
Life in recovery is a journey and not a race. So, enjoy
the journey and all of life's gifts free from your own addiction.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,579
SalesGuy - it's wonderful to have you with us. SR meant the world to me when I first came here years ago. I had been drinking 30 yrs. & never imagined my life without it.
It isn't recommended often, but I did the same thing you are (tapered) & for me, it worked. I never drank another drop. However, I was in very bad shape, drinking all day, & knew my life would be ending if I didn't stop permanently. I have been terrified to pick it up again. Coming here every day helps me stay vigilant. Everyone here understands, like most of our loved ones can't. Welcome to your new life.
It isn't recommended often, but I did the same thing you are (tapered) & for me, it worked. I never drank another drop. However, I was in very bad shape, drinking all day, & knew my life would be ending if I didn't stop permanently. I have been terrified to pick it up again. Coming here every day helps me stay vigilant. Everyone here understands, like most of our loved ones can't. Welcome to your new life.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,521
Welcome, and you've made a great decision to stop drinking.
The sleep problems are very common in early recovery. I would also routinely wake up during the night with lots of anxiety, making it difficult to get back to sleep.
I hope you continue to read and post.
The sleep problems are very common in early recovery. I would also routinely wake up during the night with lots of anxiety, making it difficult to get back to sleep.
I hope you continue to read and post.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 37
Thanks for posting, SalesGuy70. I could almost copy and paste your reasons to quit when I think about the reasons I quit. I too drank heavily for 25 years, but I started when I was 11 or 12. I found the only way I could get past a week or two without a drink was to be around sober alcoholics. That's what worked for me.
I'm knocking on the door of three sober years now.
All the best, my friend.
I'm knocking on the door of three sober years now.
All the best, my friend.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: NC
Posts: 1,657
Welcome SalesGuy. I quit last December when I was 58. I wish I had quit sooner but so glad I finally faced the music. This site has been a huge help to me in my sobriety. Read and post often. I too had lots of insomnia and other issues in the beginning. I am sleeping much better now. I recommend practicing gratefulness. There are a couple threads to follow: post.https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-110-a.html (Morning Gratitude Part 110)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...part-93-a.html (Bedtime Gratitude ~ Part 93)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...part-93-a.html (Bedtime Gratitude ~ Part 93)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: New York, New York
Posts: 600
You are absolutely in the right forum Salesguy and I look forward to reading about your progress. The beginning is tough and for me I had to use all my energy not to drink. White-knuckling it. What was a trigger? Everything! A certain time of day? All the time! Then I started to cruise along and it got better. Practicing daily gratitude, regular exercise, reading and posting. And then, not once but twice, after 7 and 8 months of no drinking, I thought I could moderate, drink “normally “. What a disaster. Within a couple of months it was back to the same old ugliness. Lesson learned and drinking became “not an option”. Now at 3 years plus life is much calmer and less dangerous (no driving issues, impulse control, etc.) and no questions about my red face! Rooting for you Salesguy.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 622
Welcome.
I'm 55 and quit a couple years ago and don't miss it one bit. When I stopped, I was sick of it and wanted to quit.
What I learned from my "earlier" attempts was don't think past now when it comes to drinking. I didn't set goals other then to not drink now and that was it. Easier said then done but the mind game worked for me.
I used Oreo's/sweets and physical activities to get me through the early craving. If I have a craving now, I won't hesitate to get some thing sweet to eat but they rarely pop into my head.
$7k is a lot of money [Minimum] once you start adding it up. That's a house payment or car payments to a lot of people and we were just pi$$ing it away.
Good Luck and you will not regret it. I promise.
I'm 55 and quit a couple years ago and don't miss it one bit. When I stopped, I was sick of it and wanted to quit.
What I learned from my "earlier" attempts was don't think past now when it comes to drinking. I didn't set goals other then to not drink now and that was it. Easier said then done but the mind game worked for me.
I used Oreo's/sweets and physical activities to get me through the early craving. If I have a craving now, I won't hesitate to get some thing sweet to eat but they rarely pop into my head.
$7k is a lot of money [Minimum] once you start adding it up. That's a house payment or car payments to a lot of people and we were just pi$$ing it away.
Good Luck and you will not regret it. I promise.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome to SR Salesguy!
Wine was my downfall as well. I am two months away from six years of sobriety thanks to SR. I found joining the monthly class to be very helpful in the beginning, you can join the October of 2021 class, I also found that the 24 hour recovery thread was a great place to check in and commit to 24 hours of sobriety. The nice thing about both of these threads is you will meet lots of great people.
❤️ Delilah
Wine was my downfall as well. I am two months away from six years of sobriety thanks to SR. I found joining the monthly class to be very helpful in the beginning, you can join the October of 2021 class, I also found that the 24 hour recovery thread was a great place to check in and commit to 24 hours of sobriety. The nice thing about both of these threads is you will meet lots of great people.
❤️ Delilah
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2021
Posts: 2
Thank you for the kind support. Today is the first day, I have been up since 3:30 with a lot of anxiety about this, I mean not doing something I have done every night creates anxiousness for sure. I travel every couple weeks for work, I used to enjoy going to nice hotels, not for the room more for the bar experience at the hotel. So tomorrow through Thursday I actually sought out a hotel with no bar. I am quite sure I will have sleepless nights, I just need to remind myself there is no easy way out of this cycle. I've tried the whole moderation thing, it lasts for a couple weeks and never sticks, so I know stopping altogether is the only route. I'll update later this week when I get back.
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