LoneJedi

Hi, I'm new here. I'm here because I need to control my drinking. And I have a mom who is possibly addicted to pain pills. So looking for support for both.
Made me really want to cut back when I blacked out a last night. Plus side of that is it scared me and I didn't drink today or tonight!

GrizzIan

Welcome. I am new here too

I will never miss all the blackouts...

Dee74

Welcome Lone Jedi
This is a great place for help and support.

so many of us got used to blacking out - its good you're wanting to stop now

D

doggonecarl

Control your drinking? Like making sure is doesn't get out of control? Manage your drinking?

Or quit drinking? Forever?

DriGuy

LoneJedi,
Welcome to the forum, and already you are introduced to one of the most important aspects of recovery, which I have to underscore. Almost every alcoholic in recovery begins with the fantasy of controlled drinking, and it makes perfect sense. Everyone tells you to control your drinking. It's our dream to drink like normal people, in control and able to put it down easily.

It's not in our cards. Go ahead and try it, and you will soon know that it doesn't work, except in the case that you're not really an alcoholic, and then you're home free. But you are here because you already have an inkling that you have a problem with alcohol. It's what brings all of us to places like this. We all began with that inkling, and in fact we can help, not because we are gurus and experts. We can help because we have been there and found answers.

The good news is that with all your reservations about living a life without any alcohol, it is not the problem you think it is, and it also includes a big surprise. When you stop drinking, the rewards for an alcoholic are probably beyond your expectations. It's not the sacrifice you are probably imagining right now.

biminiblue

"Control my drinking."

I think DriGuy covered that very well. Once I had gotten to the blackout stage I was well into a very big alcohol problem. I suspect you may have the same issue. Cutting back is not the solution. Complete abstinence is.


I would also add to not spend any time trying to fix your mom. Has she joined this site, too? I hope that's what you meant by looking for support for both. She's going to have to tackle her own addiction. You have bigger fish to fry right now.

JustJohn

This^^^

If your mind is using the verbiage of "control" or "moderation" of what you know is an addiction, there's your sign...

Start here: Permanent Abstinence Based Recovery

Delilah1

Welcome LoneJedi, I’m glad you found us. This is a wonderfully supportive site, and was/is the biggest piece of my recovery program. Looking forward to seeing you here!

Zebra1275

Welcome!

Gabe1980

Welcome! Its lovely to have you here xx

novips

Welcome. To the extent that "control my drinking" means drinking in moderation without serious negative consequences, it is worth noting that this is impossible for some of us. For me and others like me, the only choice is (1) complete abstinence or (2) alcoholic hell. Furthermore, some of us have concluded that our only way to achieve complete abstinence is by completely submitting ourselves to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous. None of that may apply to you, but it's all probably worth filing away for future reference in case all else fails (nobody I know of has ever completely submitted to the recovery program of A.A. unless everything else failed).

Mizz

Hi!

least

Welcome to the family! I tried to control my drinking but never could. I found it was much easier to stop drinking completely. Been sober now for over 11 yrs and much happier.

Hevyn

Great to meet you, LoneJedi. You've found an encouraging place for understanding & help. I'm glad you're taking a hard look at what alcohol is doing to your life.
I hope you'll keep reading & posting. We care!

Libby06

Welcome Lonejedi!

LoneJedi

As for "control my drinking", yes, I don't think I wan't to abstain completely. I let it get out of hand when I am stressed. I believe I could do the moderation management type of program. I can go to a bar with my friends and just have 2 or 3 drinks (no driving, I never drive even after one drink) and stop. But if I am bored or stressed and alone in particular, I will get smashed, thats then the tons of vodka come into the picture. I just have to learn to avoid drinking during those times.

I hope that is okay...if that isn't, I understand, I won't discuss it.

As for my mom, no she isn't on here. She is prescribed the pain meds, and actually needs them, just over uses them at times (runs out of meds to early). She doesn't get high, but I think her body may be getting dependent. It just scares me.

DriGuy

It's OK. Maybe your not an alcoholic, in which case it's irrelevant. If you are an alcoholic, eventually you will know it, and then we can help if you want. I remember thinking when I was younger that my drinking may be a problem, but it wasn't yet and probably never would be. I thought I would just keep on an eye on it, but as it took over my life, it seemed to almost do it when I wasn't looking. And then finally it just got bad, and then quickly got out of hand. I guess you can say you can quit when you need to, and I did, but I wish I hadn't waited so long, because I did a lot of damage, almost all of it to myself.

We always tell little kids not to put their hand on a hot stove, but don't you know it, that's what their gonna do.